


we're all a little broken

by VolleyballShank



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arguments, Bullying, Character Study, College, Coming Out, Difficult Decisions, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Getting Together, Growing Up, Homophobia, Implied Iwaizumi Hajime/Oikawa Tooru, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Kyoutani's dad is nice, Kyoutani's pov, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Minor Character Death, Minor Original Chacaters, Self-Acceptance, Self-Discovery, Self-Hatred, Team as Family, Yahaba's parents are the 'bad' ones, a little of Yahaba's pov in later chapters, for a change, kind of
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-04-03
Updated: 2016-05-18
Packaged: 2018-05-31 00:11:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 50,005
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6447658
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VolleyballShank/pseuds/VolleyballShank
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"When you meet someone special, you'll know," they say. Kyoutani Kentarou doesn't know if it's true or not, but there is one thing he knows for sure - when he meets Yahaba Shigeru for the first time, Kyoutani can't imagine that this is the boy who will be his special someone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction ever and I am nervous about posting it, but here I go. English is not my first language and there will be many mistakes until I find a beta, just to let you know. If there is anyone willing to be my beta, PLEASE send me an e-mail - volleyballshanka5@gmail.com I am really desperate, because I don't want this fic to be full of mistakes.
> 
> About the fanfiction - There are so many fanfictions in this fandom that portrays gay relationship like something already accepted by people, but I wanted to write something more realistic. I am not saying that I don't like the fanctions where everyone is together because I LOVE THEM SO MUCH. It's amazing to see everyone being happy with their other half and I, personally, feel weird when I read a fanction where KageHina is together, but IwaOi not. In Haikyuu, there are so many ships and I want everyone together, too. In real life, everyone knows that it's entirely different because homosexuals are still not accepted in the world by many people and coming out is one of the hardest things imaginable. I wanted to write a fanfiction with all the angst, self-discovery, self- hatred and finally self-acceptance. I wanted to write a fanfic where finding out about your orientation leaves you wondering if your family or/and friends will still love you after you tell them. I wanted to write a fanfiction where falling in love with another boy if you're a boy is something bad because society thinks so. 
> 
> ALSO I am very sorry for the previous screw up of posting a fic only with a summary and notes. It was supposed to be saved as a draft, but I accidentally posted it and found out when I was going through KyouHaba tag on AO3. I AM REALLY SORRY. God, it was so embarrassing. 
> 
> But anyway, here is the fic (finally, yay). I will update every week, on Sunday. The chapters will always be around 9k long and if there is any change in updating, I'll let you know. I am sure the writers on AO3 an everywhere else understand the problem of not being able to finish the chapter on time because of school or club activities. I, personally, play volleyball and we have two matches every weekend, so I hope I won't have problems with updating. 
> 
> That's probably all I wanted to say, so let me know if you like it in the comments. The first two chapters will be only about Kyoutani, but he will meet Yahaba soon, don't worry.

Kyoutani is eleven years old when he meets Akemi Reiko. The first thought that crosses his mind is that the girl is truly pretty.

She has got long, wavy, dark brown hair tied up in a ponytail, and she is playing with them while greeting him. Her face is pale, but not in an unhealthy way. Her eyebrows and eyelashes are the same color as her hair, making her eyes stand out even more because even if she didn’t have the thick lashes cornering her eyes, they would still be the most beautiful eyes he has ever seen in his entire life – They have dark blue rim around the iris and a strikingly  large amount of grey around the pupil that evens to light blue. They look like they can see into his soul and Kyoutani feels a blush appearing on his face because he really doesn’t like the feeling of being exposed like that. It is obvious that she bites her lips a lot because they are a bit chapped, but still full and pink.

She is like the perfect girl from every boy’s dream, and it is certain that she could become a model in future if she wanted. And Kyoutani, like any other boy, catches himself looking at her with wide eyes, unable to turn away from her.

"Why are you sitting here all alone?“ she asks and bends down so she can see him directly in the eyes. Kyoutani just stares at the girl, words stuck in his throat. He blinks a few times after ten seconds of nonstop staring, his eyes hurting already.

"If you want, you can play with us,“ she doesn’t seem to mind Kyoutani’s lack of words. She just reaches out her hand to let Kyoutani know that yes, she is not joking, and he is welcome to join her and her friends. Kyoutani almost accepts her hand, but then he remembers the looks the kids gave him when he came here.

"They don’t like me,“ Kyoutani sticks out a finger to point at bunch of kids who are laughing together and running all around the playground. Then, he turns his head away and frowns. All the laughter hurts his head.

"Because you are always frowning, look!“ she points at his furrowed eyebrows, and Kyoutani pouts. It’s not like he wants to frown all the time, it’s just his face. Even if he is not frowning, he looks like he is angry, and there is nothing he can do about it. His mom tells him that he should smile more, that it would make his angry expression disappear. He is not so sure about it, since the last time he smiled at someone, they ran away. Kyoutani wanted to believe it was because the boy had somewhere else to go, but he knew the truth about looking even more scary when he smiles, so he doesn’t do it.  

"I can‘t help it,“ he mumbles and pushes her hand away gently. There is silence between them for a few moments, and Kyoutani is ready to cry because he probably screwed up his only chance to find a friend but is surprised to find the girl still standing here when he turns his head back.

"Then they have to get used to it! I want you to play with us, and if they don’t want to play with you too, we will just play together!“ Kyoutani can’t believe that this girl wants to sacrifice her friendship with other kids just to be with him. On the other side, a girl looking like this can’t have a big problem finding new friends.

Kyoutani gulps loudly, still not sure if this is a good idea, but in the end he nods. "Okay.“

"By the way, my name is Akemi Reiko. What’s yours?“ The girl – Akemi Reiko – asks with a smile on her face when Kyoutani takes her hand slowly. The touch send a shiver down his spine, but not the bad kind – the nice, warm kind – and Kyoutani is once again struggling to say something when Reiko grips his hand tighter. He looks at her with wide eyes, but Reiko just keeps smiling at him as if saying that everything will be alright, and there is nothing to be afraid of.

"Kyoutani Kentarou,“ he says quietly, looking away again. He tries not to think about the fact that their fingers are still tangled together. Not that he minds, her hand is soft and small in his, and it feels _good_. The only people who touch him are his parents.

"That’s a nice name,“ Reiko looks away too, now staring at the blue sky above them. "I’ll call you Ken-chan!“

„I don’t care,“ Kyoutani murmurs under his nose, furrowing his eyebrows again. He tries to look tough, but the blush coloring his face once again is making it really hard. Besides his parents, there was nobody who’s given him a nickname before. Having a nickname feels personal, like they are _friends_. And Kyoutani has never had a friend before.

"That’s good for you because I wouldn’t stop calling you Ken-chan even if you said that you don’t like it,“ she laughs, and Kyoutani doesn’t say anything to that. He doesn’t know what to say, and if he tried to force something out of him, it would probably be something really stupid.

He decides to wait for Reiko to say more. He doesn’t have to wait long.

"You can give me a nickname too. If you want, that is,“ Reiko is still not looking at him, but that’s good. If the girl was looking at him again with her breath-taking eyes, he is sure that he wouldn’t say a word. Not that he said so much in the past ten minutes.

"Can I?“ He asks, stunned. This is all so new to him, and his social skills are not good enough to find out if Reiko is serious or not. It all feels like a dream, to be honest.

"Of course, silly! That’s what friends do, right?“ The question is probably not meant to be answered, but Kyoutani can’t keep himself from asking just one question.

"We’re friends?“ he doesn’t want to sound as astonished as he really is because he must look like a pathetic kid who’s lonely all the time. He actually is, but that’s not the point now. Point is he doesn’t want to look like one.

"We are! No question!“ she sounds so casual saying it, like she has made so many friends in her past that it sounds like a normal thing to her. Kyoutani doesn’t say it, but he is jealous.

"Now, now. After clearing it up, we should finally join others,“ Reiko starts walking toward a bunch of kids playing with a volleyball. He has never played volleyball in his life, even though his father likes this game very much. His father also bought two tickets to a volleyball game that will take place in their town next weekend for himself and his son, saying Kyoutani might like it.

"I still think it’s a bad idea,“ he gulps when one half of the kids turn to him with a frown while the other half takes a step back – mostly girls. Kyoutani feels uncomfortable under their stare enough to stop walking, but Reiko isn’t having any of his whining and just keeps moving forward.

"Don’t be such a baby, come on,“ this isn’t something Kyoutani wants to hear right now, really. But maybe she is right, he shouldn’t act like that. It’s not a good first impression. The scowl on his face is  also something that screws up any possible chances for a good first impression, so he should at least avoid looking like a scared dog.

He takes a deep breath and follows her, trying to look more confident than he really is. He doesn’t know what’s happening to him, or why is he so nervous. Maybe it’s because Kyoutani isn’t the most social type of person, or maybe because those kids don’t seem to be pleased by his presence, at all. Still, he holds his head high and doesn’t look away when one of the boys approach him.

The boy has got strange hair – short, black, and sticking out to every possible direction. He wonders if it’s like that on purpose or if it’s just bed hair. Either way, his eyes are almost as pretty as Reiko’s. They are mostly pale green, but there is also a shade of darker green around the iris.

Kyoutani likes green and brown eyes the most.

"Your face looks weird,“ he says, folding his arms on his chest. Kyoutani just stares at him, thinking of what he could say without being vulgar because his mom always says that he shouldn’t be vulgar, especially not when there are girls around.

"It’s just my face, there is nothing I can do about it. However, you could do something about your stupid hair,“ Kyoutani follows the other boy’s action, folding his arms on the chest. He has to let go of Reiko’s hand and it saddens him a little, but it’s impossible to just stand there and hold a girl’s hand when there is a boy picking on you.

There is a silence between them, nobody saying a thing during those painfully long seconds. Kyoutani is looking straight into the boy’s eyes, never breaking eye contact. Maybe it’s really childish, but Kyoutani doesn’t look away because it feels like a staring contest, and he is not going to lose – even though it doesn’t have to be a staring contest, and Kyoutani is just too competitive.

In the end, he was right – it was a stupid staring contest. And he won.

"That was good, I like you,“ he says with a laugh and reaches out a hand. Kyoutani looks confused for a moment but then takes his hand. „I’m Mitsue Naoki, nice to meet you.“

"Kyoutani Kentarou... Nice to meet you too, I guess,“ well, that was unexpected. He thought that this guy was going to be a pain in the ass, but surprisingly, he is just as competitive as Kyoutani is.

And he seems nice when he smiles. He has these cute dimples that Kyoutani has always wanted to have for no particular reason.

He laughs again, and Kyoutani feels this weird feeling in his stomach again. It isn’t a bad feeling, it’s just something new. It feels as good as when Reiko touched his hand.

"Do you like volleyball? I just got this ball from my mom, but everybody’s complaining that it’s boring,“ he turns to other kids with a pouty face and huffs before turning back to Kyoutani with a warm smile on his lips. There is a round of groans behind Naoki’s back about volleyball _being_ boring, but Naoki does a very good job in ignoring all of them.

Meanwhile, Kyoutani is having a hard time talking again, and it’s getting on his nerves. He has never felt like this before, so why now? What’s wrong with him?

"I’ve never played volleyball,“ he admits. It’s not like he didn’t want to try playing this game before, he just never wanted it so bad to go and ask others to play with him. After all, talking to people wasn’t – and still isn’t – his thing.

"Then it’s the right time to try it! Come!“ Naoki hands him a volleyball and starts walking away, probably expecting Kyoutani to follow him. To his own surprise, Kyoutani does.

Before going away though, Kyoutani turns to look at Reiko who is smiling at him and telling him that it’s alright. He doesn’t know why he felt like she needed to give him a permission to do something.

"You coming, or not?“ he hears Naoki’s voice, but it doesn’t sound impatient or something like it. His voice is light, happy and full of life. So different from Kyoutani’s always angry voice that scares of everybody and everything.

Kyoutani is jealous of Naoki’s voice.

"It’d be nice if you could wait, you know,“ there it is, Kyoutani’s unpleasant voice. What’s weird is that Naoki doesn’t seem to mind, only saying ‘ _yeah, yeah_ ‘ while waving his hand.

"Reiko-chan, you are amazing! If you didn’t bring him, Naoki would surely make us play with him all day!“ Kyoutani hears whispers while walking away, feeling strangely _pleased_ with himself for being good for something. He’s always felt like he could never make other people happy with his presence because, well, he is not the typical person you want to have around, but now when he hears the voices behind him, he feels really good.

He takes a few steps toward Naoki, stopping himself a few feet away from him. Kyoutani looks at the ball in his hands and feels its smooth texture. The ball isn’t really heavy, but it’s not light either. _It will probably hurt when it touches my arms or fingers,_ Kyoutani thinks.

"Do you want me to show you how to do it? My mom was a volleyball player, and she taught me how to play. I am not really good, but maybe you’ll do better,“ Naoki offers, but Kyoutani shakes his head as if saying no. He’s seen in on TV, he can do it. He doesn’t need any help. It can’t be that hard, anyway.

Kyoutani throws the volleyball in the air and tilts his head up to see the ball. He watches the ball carefully, raising his hands up. He holds them above his head just where the ball should fall back. Kyoutani concetrates so much that it can be seen on his face, and Naoki laughs at him, choking out a quiet ‘ _it takes you so long_ ‘.

The ball finally falls back, touches his fingers and both of his palms, and Kyoutani can feel that something is wrong when he tries to toss the ball to Naoki. The ball leaves his hands with a weird sound and is spiraling in the air. It doesn’t really go to Naoki either. It falls just a meter away from Kyoutani, and he feels his cheeks burning red when he hears Naoki’s laugh once again, just louder.

It looked easier on TV.

"Don’t laugh at me, it’s my first time touching the damn thing!“ Kyoutani tries to defened himself, but Naoki’s laugh doesn’t seem to become any quieter. It makes him feel so embarrassing.

"I am not laughing because you did it all wrong,“ he tries to catch his breath and wipes tears away from his eyes. "I am laughing because you looked so concentrated and... Oh my God.“

He continues in laughing, and Kyoutani knows that even his ears are red from the embarrassement. Kyoutani looks away, trying to find some interesting object to stare at, so he wouldn’t have to stare at Naoki, who is still laughing at him like it was _oh so funny_.

"Here,“ he quickly turnes his head back when he feels a light touch on his hand. "Try once more.“

Naoki is smiling at him and handing him a volleyball once again, holding his right hand in his own. Then he places Kyoutani’s hand on the volleyball and steps back.

"My offer still stands. I will gladly help you,“ he is grinning smugly like he knows that Kyoutani will accept his help this time.

"Fine,“ he murmurs under his nose and looks at the volleyball. He is frowning at the ball like the ball is to be blamed for his previous screw up.

"Okay, hands up,“ Naoki says and rests his hands on his hips. Kyoutani does as Naoki says, holding the volleyball between his fingers. He keeps his eyes on Naoki’s face, wondering how in the world can this boy keep smiling all the time. Doesn’t it hurt? His cheeks must be tired from all the smiling.

"My mom says you have to hold it like this,“ Naoki straightens up, touching Kyoutani’s hands gently. His hands are cold, even though it’s so hot outside.

"You should make a triangle with your fingers, look,“ he continues touching him and correcting Kyoutani’s hold on the ball. It takes him a while to tear his eyes away from Naoki’s face and look at his own hands.

"Don’t try to toss the ball with your hands like this,“ Naoki moves Kyoutani‘s hands the same way Kyoutani did when he tried to toss the ball, then settles his hands to the same position as before again. "You have to do it slowly and use your wrists.“

He moves Kyoutani’s hands again, but this time it’s different. He moves them slowly and tries to make Kyoutani see the difference. It works.

"That’s it. Do you understand?“ he asks, and Kyoutani nods in understanding. "Then try again.“

Naoki steps away from Kyoutani and watches him carefully when Kyoutani tries to toss the ball once again. He follows Naoki’s instructions and ends up tossing the ball a bit better than before, but it still makes the weird, cringeworthy sound when leaving his hands. The only thing that changes is that the ball doesn’t rotate so much.

"That’s so stupid,“ Kyoutani mumbles. It’s not because he really thinks it’s stupid, he’s just angry that he cannot do it right.

"No, it’s not,“ comes a swift response from Naoki who doesn’t seem to be offended by Kyoutani’s whining. To be honest, he seems like he knows exactly what’s in Kyoutani’s head. "Wanna try again?“

Kyoutani looks at Naoki, then at the volleyball lying on the ground, and then back at Naoki. "Of course.“

He is not going to give up, he is going to do it right. How hard can it be?

-

They play volleyball for two hours. As it turns out, it’s a lot harder than he thought it would be. He did it right maybe six or seven times, and all of his other tries were miserable. Another three times the volleyball actually hit his face when it slipped through his fingers, and that caused Naoki to laugh at him. He doesn’t understand how could the ball just _slip_ through his fingers, but it happend.

They stop playing when Reiko approaches them and says that she and Naoki have to go home. Kyoutani find outs that Reiko is Naoki’s cousin. She lives in Kyoto, but came to visit Naoki for two weeks. This is her third day in Miyagi, so she will be leaving on Friday next week.

He is ready to go home after saying a quiet goodbye when Naoki and Reiko stop him.

"Will you be here tomorrow? We can play volleyball together if you want,“ Naoki offers, and it takes Kyoutani by surprise because he didn’t think that they will meet again after today. He though it was just a one time thing.  

"I– uh .. Yeah, I guess,“ Kyoutani answers, and confusion must be written all over his face because Reiko says something about him being confused for no reason. She is wrong, mostly because there is so many reasons to be confused right now. Like the one that they are acting as his friends, and he isn’t sure why. Kids have never acted like this toward him before. Ninety percent of kids left when he smiled or said something, other ten percent were polite enough to spend some time with him before saying their goodbye and never talking to him again.

He just hopes that Naoki and Reiko aren’t one of those who will spend some time with him and then leave, lying that they will play together tomorrow. Kyoutani likes Naoki and Reiko, he would be pretty sad if they never talked to him again.

"I know this place nerby my house where we can play,“ Kyoutani mumbles and both of his new _friends_ turn to him with a shock. He doesn’t understand why are they looking at him like that, he didn’t say anything wrong, or did he?

"I can’t believe it!“ Reiko raises her voice and laughs while Naoki slaps his back strongly. Stronger than he probably intended. "You said more than three words in one sentence and without complaining! That’s amazing!“

Kyoutani blushes and huffs out a quiet ‘ _shut up_ ‘. He starts to walk a little faster, not wanting them to see his red cheeks and ears. He has never blushed so much in one day in his life.

"You don’t have to be embarrassed. It was a compliment,“ they catch up to him in no time.

"I am not embarrassed,“ he defends himself, but he knows it’s useless. Maybe they would believe him if his face wasn’t burning red.

They walk in silence for a while, but it’s not unpleasant. It’s actually very nice. Kyoutani can lose himself in the happiness he feels when Naoki and Reiko are walking beside him, still smiling. Really, how can they smile so much, it’s impossible.

"We’re going this way, so... see you tomorrow?“ Reiko asks when they stop at the crossroads, pointing in the other direction.

"Same time as today?“ adds Naoki, already walking away with Reiko by his side.

"Okay,“ Kyoutani says, nodding his head. They exchange their goodbyes, and Kyoutani starts walking toward his house too.

The way to his house isn’t very long, and he is taking his shoes off only ten minutes later. He greets his parents and says that he will be in his room playing video games by the time the dinner is ready. His mother agrees, giving him twenty minutes to play.

He wasn’t exactly lying when he said he wants to play video games, he just doesn’t feel like playing anymore when he looks at his console. He doesn’t want to do anything at all, to be honest, so he just lays himself on his bed, his eyes falling on the ceiling above him.

Kyoutani thinks about today, about how much fun he had. When he decided to go out today, he wasn’t expecting to have fun and come home surprisingly _happy._ He was expecting to go out and sit alone on the bench near the playground, looking at other kids who play together different games everytime his eyes drifts to them. He would never expect that he will be the one playing the games with others. It’s a nice change.

He wonders if tomorrow will be the same, if they are going to play volleyball together for two hours or longer. He caught himself having fun while playing volleyball, and he would like to get better at it, not because he doesn’t like it when something isn’t going according to his plan, but because it feels extremely good when he tosses the ball right.

And just when he thought that he is pretty good at tossing, Naoki showed him how to recieve a ball with his arms. When he did it, it was very impressive and looked rather elegant. Naoki did it slowly, recieving the ball perfectly back to Kyoutani who tossed the ball to him. Kyoutani immediately wanted to try it too, but when he did it, it looked horrible. And not just looked, the ball went to a totally different direction, and his arms parted as the ball hit his arms. The ball was more heavy at the moment he tried to recieve it than before, Kyoutani is sure.

Naoki promised to teach him how to recieve a ball properly tomorrow, and Kyoutani looks forward to it. He really likes playing volleyball.

"Kentarou, dinner’s ready!“ He hears his mother’s voice calling him, and it takes him one minute to get up from the soft bed. Kyoutani doesn’t feel hungry, even though he didn’t eat a thing after leaving his house after lunch.

He walks the stairs slowly, turning to dining room on his right. His dad is already sitting behind the table, smiling at Kyoutani‘s mother who is placing the dinner on the table. What is with everyone? Why are they always smiling? You cannot be that happy all the time.

"Oh, there you are. Come, sit,“ his mother gestures at the chair on the opposite side of his father and Kyoutani sits. He starts to feel hungry when he smells his mother’s incredible cooking. It’s always like this – he isn’t hungry until he smells the food. His mother is the best cook in the neighbourhood.  

"How was your day? You were out longer than you usually are,“ his father asks while thanking Kyoutani’s mother for food. His mother nods and sits where she usually does, looking rather curious about her son’s answer. His father’s right after all, he’s been out almost all day. Kyoutani does go out quite often, but it’s never for so long. It’s usually for one or two hours, but today it was over five hours.

"It was okay,“ Kyoutani says. He wonders if he should continue or just leave it like that, not telling his parents about his newly found friends because even though making a friend is a big achievement, Kyoutani doesn’t know if he should tell them. They know that Kyoutani doesn’t excel in talking to people, and they would think that he has finally found someone who will keep him company in the future. Or at least in the upcoming days.

Kyoutani would like to think that himself, but he doesn’t want to jump to any conclusions so fast. He has to wait and see if Naoki and Reiko will still want to be his friends tomorrow.

In the end, Kyoutani decides to tell them about his days a little bit more, but leave out the word _friends_. „I found someone to play with today. We played volleyball.“

His parents exchange a surprised look, and Kyoutani doesn’t blame them – he is still pretty surprised himself.

"And did you like it?“ his mother asks a question this time, and a warm smile replaces the surprised expression in a second. It feels kind of strange when his mother asks if he likes volleyball because Kyoutani knows that she doesn’t like volleyball at all, and it’s his father who is totally in love with the sport.  

"Yeah... But it’s hard,“ he replies and starts to eat his dinner. Kyoutani hears his mother laugh and his father chuckle and assumes that it’s because of the face he made when saying that volleyball is hard.

"It is, but every sport is hard,“ his mother says and starts to eat too. There is a silence for a moment, but then his parents start to talk about work, and Kyoutani doesn’t understand a thing from the conversations, so he just focuses on eating.

It’s a long time since he had curry rice. He remembers that the first time he tried curry rice was when he went to visit his grandmother in Tokyo. She made it because it was Kyoutani’s mother favorite meal, and she wanted to make her happy, since they haven’t seen each other for half a year. Kyoutani didn’t want to try it at first, but his mother made him eat it anyway and he is glad that he did.

Kyoutani was so busy thinking of their visit in Tokyo that he didn’t even hear his father asking him a question.

"Kentarou, did you hear me?“ his father asks again, and Kyoutani blinks a few times before admitting that no, he didn’t hear him.

"I said – did you think of what junior high school you want to go to?“ he repeats the question, and Kyoutani suddenly loses his appetite. He doesn’t want to think about school during the holiday. There is still so much time to decide what school to go to, anyway.

"Not really,“ Kyoutani mumbles and can hear his father sigh.

They had a pretty serious argument about this topic already, and his father keeps asking him this stupid question almost every single day. His father wants Kyoutani to go to Kitagawa Daichi because that’s where he went, but Kyoutani doesn’t want to. Mostly because there will be this annoying girl who has always something to say in elementary school, and there is a high possibility that Kyoutani will end up sharing a class with her. Okay, the possibily is not as big as Kyoutani describes it to be, but even the smallest possibily is enough for him to reject this school.

„We’ve talked about this,“ oh, there it is. The tone that his father uses when he wants to have a very long conversation about his future, his life, and everything else that is really so far away, considering that Kyoutani is only eleven years old. Of course, middle school is important and all, but talking about his whole life in this age seems kind of pointless to Kyoutani. He wouldn’t understand half of the conversation anyway.

"We have,“ Kyoutani nods. He doesn’t know what else to say.

"I still think it’s a good idea to go to–“

"No,“ Kyoutani’s mother interrupts his father and shoots a warning glance at him. Kyoutani just waits for what’s comming next, but there are only five seconds of another silence. His parents seem to have a conversation without words, only looking into each others eyes. Their eyes have different emotion every second, and Kyoutani thinks it’s better to leave them to their telepathic conversation or whatever, but then his mother finally continues. „Not today.“

"But–“  

"Kentarou, why don’t you finish your dinner in your room? If I remember correctly, then a new episode of the TV show you like is airing today around this time,“ Kyoutani isn’t stupid. He knows that his mother lets him leave because he should better not hear what are his parents going to talk about. His mother hates when he eats in his bedroom, so this has to be something serious if she allows him to take the food with him.

"Thank you,“ he says as he takes the plate with food in his hands and quickly leaves the dining room. He stops on the stairway, wondering if he stays and eavesdrop – yes, he knows it’s wrong – or goes to his bedroom to watch the new episode which should be airing any minute now. He decides for going to his room because he shouldn’t listen to adult’s conversations. If there is something that they would like to tell him, they will do it.

Kyoutani walks the rest of the stairs slowly, since there is not any reason to hurry. He is out of dining room, and that is all he’s wanted for past three minutes. He can slow down his pace now.

By the time he gets to his room, he can already hear his mother yelling.

It’s not like it’s the first time, so he is not surprised to hear his parents argue. What worries him is that they are arguing _a lot_ these days. Kyoutani doesn’t know what to make out of that because everytime they are all together, his parents seem all good. They smile at each other, give each other kisses on cheeks or mouth, make jokes, and so on. They act totally normal, but when they think Kyoutani can’t hear them, they argue. He doesn’t know about what exactly they argue almost every night because he hears only muffled voices, but he is able to understand a word or two out of ten. Most of their arguments are about his father’s work, then about Kyoutani and his disability to choose a school to attend, or about some guy that Kyoutani’s mother works with.

Kyoutani is clever enough to understand that his parents are going through a difficult time right now, but he is also afraid that this arguments could lead to something more serious, like divorce. He is young, but he heard from other kids about divorce.

There was a boy in elementary school whose parents were divorced, and he told Kyoutani about them once. He couldn’t consider the boy a friend, but they talked time to time. The boy told him that his parents had a divorce when he was eight years old, and his little brother was four years old. His father simply came home one evening and said in front of the whole family that he doesn’t want to live with them anymore, and that he is moving to America. Kyoutani thought that this guy must‘ve been a really bad father, since the boy didn’t look so sad when he was talking about it.

Kyoutani can’t imagine his parents getting a divorce. He loves his mother and his father equally, he would not be able to choose with whom he wants to live. His parents should stop with all the arguing. What’s the point in arguing, anyway? They can’t have so many problems that ten arguments are still not enough, right?

He really doesn’t want to think about it. It makes him feel uncomfortable, and he is sure his parents are in love, so they can’t get a divorce. It’s stupid to think that they would ever do something like that to him, they have to know that Kyoutani is not going to choose if he wants to stay with his mother or father.

Kyoutani is thinking so hard about it that his curry is already cold when he finally decides to continue in eating it. He sighes and puts the plate with food back on the table, then lies down on his bed. He feels kinda sleepy, and it’s probably caused by all the thinking. Man, thinking is exhausting.

It’s only 8 p.m., but there is nothing he wants to do more than fall alseep on his soft bed and wake up next morning. He will get to meet Naoki and Reiko, and that’s something to look forward to. He should focus on that.

He quickly strips out of his clothes, throwing them on the floor by the bed. His mother will be angry when she sees it, but he will make sure to put them into his wardrobe first thing in the morning. Or in the basket beside the washing machine, since it is covered in dried sweat. Now, he only wants to dream about all the things that can possibly happen tomorrow when he meets his new _friends_ again.

_-_

Kyoutani frowns when his sleeping is interrupted by the sun that is shining brightly on the sky, and its rays hit him in the eyes. He turns to the other side, reaching for the blanket so he can cover his face with it. He manages to do that, but even though he can‘t feel sun rays burning his whole face already, he is not sleepy anymore. He feels pretty damn awake and there is not a smallest chance that he can go back to sleep.

"Thank you, Sun,“ Kyoutani mutters angrily.

He sighs heavily and kicks the blanket off his body, sitting up and frowning even more when the sun hits his eyes again. He sits like this for a few moments, looking around his bedroom. Being awake doesn’t mean that he is fully alive and able to move with his body yet. He can probably just lie on his bed and stare at the ceiling or something. Moving is so exhausting in the morning. Everything is actually exhausting in the mornings. Mornings are exhausting.

That’s right, he doesn’t even know what’s the time. His alarm clock is broken so he has to reach for his phone. He feels like he is going to fall out of bed when he tries to reach his phone, but Kyoutani is so amazing that it doesn’t happen. When he’s finally holding his phone, he looks at the time and is extremely surprised to find out that it’s already 11 p.m. How could he sleep so long when he went to sleep so early? Maybe he was tired after playing volleyball yesterday.

He puts his phone on the bed, runs his hand over his face and eyes, and finally stands up. His legs feel like jelly, and he has to just stand without moving for a few seconds before he continues walking toward the bathroom. He didn’t shower yesterday, and he feels kinda disgusting because of it, that’s why now’s the time for a shower.

Kyoutani steps into the bathroom and throws the dirty clothes, which he took by the way, in the basket beside the washing machine. He takes a quick look at his reflection in the mirror before stepping into the shower, asking himself why in the world are there dark circles under his eyes when he sleeps so much. Kyoutani guess it’s inherited from his father, he has got those stupid dark circles under his eyes, too.

He turns on the water and yelps when the cold drops hit his skin. He changes the water to a better temperature and relaxes once he feels the cold water turn to more warmer. One simply cannot understand how much Kyoutani likes to shower. He showers under hot water even in summer. It’s the most relaxing thing in the world, and he wishes to stay in the shower all day, but that’s pretty impossible, so the ten minutes he can spend in here must be enough. The thing is that those ten minutes are gone in what feels like a second, and he has to get out.

He stops the water and steps out of the shower, grabs a towel and starts drying himself. Kyoutani runs a towel over his head, rubbing his hair with it to get rid of the wetness. When he’s done with his hair, he ties the towel around his torso and goes to a washstand. He takes his toothbrush into his right hand and puts a toothpaste on it. He cringes when he starts brushing his teeth, because the toothpaste tastes really horrible. His dad bought it last week, and when Kouytani came to him and said that he wants to throw up everytime he brushes his teeth with the toothpaste, his father said that he won’t waste any more money just because Kyoutani thinks the toothpaste tastes bad. But the problem is, he doesn’t just _think_ it tastes horrible, the toothpaste actually is horrible and if he has to brush his teeth with this nasty toothpaste a few more days, he swears he will go and buy a new toothpaste with his own money. Desperate times calls for desperate measures, after all.

Kyoutani didn’t know that there can be so much happiness just from finishing brushing his teeth, but life is full of surprises. He puts the tootbrush back on the washstand and walks out of the bedroom. Right when he steps into his bedroom, he can smell the delicious scent of something sweet. Kyoutani spots that the door to his bedroom is open, so his father must’ve come in when he was in shower. Kyoutani knows it was his father because his mom is working today, and his father took a day off so that Kyoutani won’t be home alone.

He quickly grabs a shirt from his chair that he only wears at home and puts it on, also pulling out underwear from a shelf in his wardrobe. He was never dressed so fast in his life, Kyoutani is sure of it. He takes his mobile from his bed too and practically runs the stairs to be in the kitchen faster. The smell is still stronger, and if he had to die anytime soon, he wants this scent to be the last thing he smells before passing out.

"Good morning,“ his father must’ve heard Kyoutani‘s footsteps because he greets him the moment Kyoutani walks into the kitchen. He is still turned to the stove, holding a frying pan in his left hand – both, his mother and his father are left handed, and Kyoutani is the only one who is right handed. Even his grandparents from his mother’s side are left handed. It feels weird to be the only one in his family that is right handed, since his grandparents from his father’s side are already dead. Most of Kyoutani’s family members live in Europe, so he didn’t have the chance to meet them and find out if they are left handed too.

But on the bright side, he has got an ability to do things with his left hand too. It’s just harder and feels unnatural.

"Good morning,“ he greets back quietly. He is really hungry, but he doesn’t feel well with his father in the room. He doesn’t know if his father is still angry at him or not, but when he greeted him his voice didn’t sound angry at all. Guess he has to wait and see.

"Do you want to eat? I saw the recipe yesterday and thought I should try it,“ his father says and places a plate with food on the table. Kyoutani has never seen something like this in his life, but God, it smelled delicious.

Kyoutani questioningly looks at him, but his father doesn’t say anything and just smiles at him. He doesn’t understand why is his father suddenly so nice to him. Did he forget about yesterday? Did his mother tell something to him? It’s most probably the latter.

"Tell me if it’s good when you try it,“

Kyoutani doesn’t start to eat it immediately when he sits down. He takes his time to observe the meal, but it can’t be bad when it smells so good, right?

It looks like a pancake at first, but when he looks at it better, it’s obvious that it’s not a pancake. They are some kind of rolls but Kyoutani can’t quite figure out what are they made of. They are covered in  cinnamon sugar, and there is chocolate inside them. It looks incredibly good, and he can tell that his father put a lot of work in making it.

"What is it?“ Kyoutani asks as he takes one of the rolls in his hand and tastes it. It’s actually remarkably good and very sweet, but he likes sweet things, so it’s all good.

"It’s called _French toast rolls with cinnamon sugar._ It’s basically roasted white bread with chocolate in it and sugar on it,“ his father explains. "Is it good?“

"It is,“ and he is not lying. It’s more than good, it tastes like heaven. It’s so sweet that he has to pour himself some milk in a glass because he can’t eat it without a drink, though. Kyoutani’s mother would probably kill his father if she found out that he made something so sweet for breakfast.  

"I’m glad, I was afraid you won’t like it,“ he admits, and Kyoutani just chuckles, mostly to himself. There is no way he wouldn’t like something his father cooked. He is a really good cook, and he found himself liking everything his father has ever made. He is a very lucky kid, having two parents who are amazing cooks. That’s why he can cook too. Nothing difficult, just small things, but it’s enough.

After maybe five minutes, his father turns off the stove and takes some of the freshly made rolls, placing them on a plate. He pours himself some milk too and sits down next to Kyoutani. _That’s weird_ , Kyoutani thinks, _he doesn’t usually sit here_.

"You know,“ his father starts after a few seconds of awkward silence between them. "I’m sorry for yesterday.“

Kyoutani is taken by surprise. He doesn’t even remember the last time his father apologized for his behaviour. He is looking at his father with wide eyes, food almost falling out of his mouth. He rememebers to close them before it happens, though.

"I just really want you to be happy, but putting so much pressure on you was wrong of me. You can choose whatever school you want to go to, I won’t say anything. You still have a lot of time to decide, so you will tell me when you are sure,“ he says and starts to eat, too. Kyoutani is too stunned to continue in eating, even though the rolls are delicious and he will feel bad when he just leaves them unfinished.

His father has been bothering him about junior high school since Kyoutani’s last year in elementary school started. He tried to explain to his father that it’s still too far away, but his father wasn’t having any of it. Kyoutani is glad that his father finally came to an understanding and will not ask questions about junior high school every day.

"I’ll tell you soon. Can’t avoid it forever, right?“ Kyoutani smiles a little and keeps his eyes on his father to see his expression. To his surprise, his father smiles too, biting into the roll between his fingers.

"Right,“ he says with his mouth full of food, turning his head to Kyoutani.

They both share another wave of silence, but this time it’s not awkward or tense anymore. It’s different because Kyoutani doesn’t feel uncomfortable, and Kyoutani’s father doesn’t feel bad, thinking he is being a bad father to his son.

To be honest, even when Kyoutani’s father is pretty strict, Kyoutani has never thought of him as a bad father. He knows that his father wants only the best for Kyoutani, and that makes him sometimes act kind of rougher than usual, but Kyoutani understands. He can’t blame his father for caring. Everybody has their own way of showing love, and this is simply his fahter’s way.

-

Before going out to meet Naoki and Reiko, Kyoutani spends his free time with his father. After finishing their breakfast, they decide to watch Kyoutani’s favorite TV show because Kyoutani mentioned that he had fallen asleep yesterday and haven’t seen it. His father doesn’t know the show, so Kyoutani has to explain almost everything to him, but Kyoutani doesn’t mind it in the slightest. It is nice to watch the TV show with someone and not alone, like always. His father actually likes it so much that he askes Kyoutani to re-watch the series with him. Kyoutani, of course, agrees. But since the show has 2 seasons already, he says that they can watch in the evening when he returns.

After watching the new episode, they play video games on Kyoutani’s console. Kyoutani really likes to play video games with his father because his father isn’t the type to let someone win just because they are his family. His father always says that you have to earn victory, nobody would ever lose on purpose to make you happy if it was a sirious competition, so he should try hard and win. When Kyoutani was younger, he thought that his father is really strict on him, but now he understands. He would never become stronger like this, and it doesn’t even feel good when he wins with knowing that his father, or somebody else just let him win. If Kyoutani loses, it’s because he wasn’t strong enough to win and has to try harder. They play for two hours and Kyoutani wins only once, but at least the victory feels real. He did everything he could, and it feels good to win like this.

Playing video games is really exhausting, and that’s why Kyoutani soon starts feeling hungry. They have leftovers from yesterday’s dinner for lunch ,and he was extremely glad that there were any  leftovers because Kyoutani couldn’t enjoy his meal properly the other day.

When time for Kyoutani to leave finally comes, Kyoutani politely thanks for the food, and then says that he should probably go, so he won’t be late. What’s late, anyway? They didn’t agree on exact time when will they meet, Naoki only asked Kyoutani if they can meet approximately the same time as yesterday. Maybe Kyoutani will be early. And Maybe Naoki and Reiko won’t even come.

His father walks him out, saying that he should come home around 7 p.m. Kyoutani nods and says goodbye, walking away with a small smile on his face. _This day is going pretty well_ , Kyoutani thinks. It’s been a long time since he felt so happy, but he also feels kinda scared because whenever he feels too happy, something happens. Something bad that ruins his whole day in one second, and Kyoutani doesn’t want anything bad to happen today.

It takes him only a few minutes to get to the playground, but it sure feels like ages. It’s getting hotter and hotter, and Kyoutani is not a big fan of this terribly warm weather. He starts to regret that he didn’t take some water with him.

What’s worse is that when he finally gets to the playground, Neoki and Reiko are nowhere to be found. There are more kids than yesterday, but his newly found friends are not here, he is certain of it. Kyoutani can already hear the negative voice in his head telling him that he was foolish to think that someone would want to spend time with him, but he doesn’t want to be negative. He tries not think about the voice in his head as he sits down on a bench nearby. He pulls out his mobile and starts to play a game that he downloaded this morning. It’s called Flappy Bird, and it seems like a rather easy game, but it isn’t easy at all. It should be easy because the only thing you have to do is tap the screen at the right moments with your finger so you can get past the obstacles, but the stupid bird – or duck with wings, or whatever mix of animals it truly is – somehow manages to die everytime after maybe twenty points. It’s somehow really frustrating when the bird dies, and Kyoutani starts to feel incredibly angry after he dies _again_ for fifteenth time. And this stupid game is supposed to be simple.

After forty minutes Kyoutani starts to lose his positivity. He can’t even play the game to forget that Naoki and Reiko are still not here because he is sure that his nerves wouldn’t be able to process another loss.

On the other side, thinking that they won’t show up is stupid too. They were already playing volleyball at this time yesterday, but Naoki or Reiko didn’t know what was the time when they met, it was Kyoutani who took a quick glance at his phone to find out how much time he had before having to go home. Reiko or Naoki didn’t know what was the time then, so they probably had to guess when to meet up with Kyoutani.

And so he waits. He waits for one and a half hour, playing different games on his mobile. Kyoutani doesn’t really mind waiting because playing outside alone is usually how he spends his time when he’s out. Many would say that he can play on his mobile at home if that’s why he’s out, but it’s not true. It’s different to play those games outside. For example, it’s too quiet at home. Kyoutani likes silence most of the time, but not when he’s playing mobile, or video games. It’s strangely soothing to hear voices of other people around him while he‘s playing. Kyoutani doesn’t know why, it just is.

Another reason why he likes to be outside is the fresh air. Even though it’s hot as hell, he would rather spend his afternoon outside than at home. Kyoutani likes the ever so gentle waves of wind brushing his skin when his body feels like burning under the shining sun. He can’t have that at home.

After two hours of waiting, Kyoutani decides to go home. He needs to drink something, and he doesn’t have any money, so he can’t buy water in a shop. Maybe he’ll come back with a bottle of water and continue in waiting, but he isn’t sure if he should.

"Hey, where do you think you’re going?“ Kyoutani’s eyes widen when he hears a familiar voice calling after him. He slowly turns his head to see Naoki standing a few meters away from him, carrying a backpack on one shoulder, volleyball in his hand, and a bright smile on his face. Reiko was not with him, though.

"Home,“ Kyoutani answers shortly. He can’t take his eyes off Naoki, still taken aback that yes, Naoki is just a few steps away from him. He _came_ , and Kyoutani is only able to stand here and stare at him with wide eyes and surprise written all over his face.

Kyoutani can’t even describe what he’s feeling in this moment, but he is mostly happy. Very happy. And he feels somewhat relieved that Naoki is actually here in front of Kyoutani because he’s been really tense all this time. Kyoutani told himself that he wouldn’t be sad if Naoki and Reiko didn’t show up, but deep down he knew that he would be lying, and it would hurt as hell. He doesn’t know if his little, young heart would be able to face another rejection.  

"And why in the world would you do that?“ Naoki sighes heavily and tilts his head to the side, his eyebrows knitted together in confusion.

"I wasn’t sure you were coming,“ he was always a straightforward and honest person, so Kyoutani doesn’t have a problem with admitting that he was ready to go home because he didn’t think Naoki and Reiko would come.

"You stupid, of course I was!“ he shakes his head in disablief, then starts walking toward him with long steps. Kyoutani has to take a step back because Naoki stops maybe an inch away from his face. He is as tall as Kyoutani, and it pisses Kyoutani off. He likes to be the one who is taller when talking to people, he feels more comfortable like that. "You think I’d lie to you? You think I’m a liar?“

His voice changes so quickly from the high-pitched, excited voice to a low snarl that it makes Kyoutani raise his eyebrows in surprise. His voice was scary, but his face looked kind of funny – it was like his face was not made for this killer-like expression. However, Kyoutani still didn’t like it.

He was already opening his mouth to say something, but then Naoki chuckled, his bright smile replacing the terrifying expression. "Just kidding.“

"To be honest, I wasn’t sure you’ll still be here,“ Naoki admits. His smile changes to an apologetic one, and he rubs the back of his neck shyly. "I was already standing at the doorstep, saying goodbye to my parents about one hour ago, but our neighboors came to visit, and my mom said that it would be impolite to just disappear.“

Naoki says too quickly and tries to catch his breath afterwards. Oh, how much Kyoutani hates being visited by neighboors, he can understand why Naoki sounds so irritated.

"Oh,“ there is not much to say, and Kyoutani sucks at conversations too much to think of anything else. He should work on his conversation skills.   

"But I’m here now, right? Let’s play,“ Kyoutani doesn’t know Naoki more than a day, but he can say that he loves volleyball more than any other game in the world. He lights up with every mention of volleyball. It must be nice, having something that will make you so passionate.

His paasion for volleybal must have something to do with his mother being a volleyball player in the past. His father played football, but just because Kyoutani’s grandfather forced him into in. Kyoutani’s father said that he didn’t hate football, but loved playing volleyball so much that other sports were just boring to him. Kyoutani can’t imagine being forced into a sport he doesn’t want to play, so he is relieved to have a father who leaves him to decide things for himself.

Okay, his father always ‘subtly‘ tries to suggest Kyoutani something he likes, but he would never order him to choose something Kyoutani isn’t comfortable with.

"You said you know a good place nearby your house where we can play, so come on,“ He bumps friendly into Kyoutani who nods slightly and starts walking in the direction of his house. They walk side by side in silence, and Kyoutani feels like he should say something, anything, to not be a boring company.

"Where is Reiko?“ he asks, his eyes fixated on his shoes. Kyoutani doesn’t want to sound desperate, even though he doesn’t think that Naoki is the type of person who would think of him as desperate for asking something like this. Kyoutani is just curious.

"Oh, she had to go shopping with her mom. She doesn’t like going alone, so she took Reiko with her,“ Naoki rolls his eyes, clearly not happy with the reason Reiko couldn’t come with them. Kyoutani can tell that this boy is a real drama queen, judging by the way he always talks, sighs, and pouts like it’s the end of the world.

Kyoutani likes it, in a way.

"And her father?“ Kyoutani offers.

"He didn’t come to visit us. His boss didn’t let him take even a day off, so he had to stay in Kyoto. At least, that’s what I heard,“ Naoki answers Kyoutani’s question with lack of interest.

"You don’t like him?“ Naoki’s tone of voice and the face he made while saying why Reiko’s father is not here tells him that Naoki doesn’t like him, but Kyoutani asks anyway.

"Nah,“ Naoki admits with a frown. „He may look like he likes everyone, but it’s clear he doesn’t. He is just a fantastic actor, but I can see right through it!“

Kyoutani is actually really interested in what Naoki has to say about Reiko’s father. It’s fascinating that Naoki could sense that Reiko’s father isn’t actually as good as everybody thinks he is. He listens as Naoki talks about how he figured out that her father is just playing nice, about how he looks when he comes to visit, about how Naoki once overheard a conversation between Reiko’s perenets and heard Reiko’s father saying bad things about his own parents. Naoki says that he didn’t like him from the start, but after overhearing the conversation he can’t bring himself to be nice to Reiko’s father.

"I can’t tell Reiko any of this, I know she loves his father. You are the first one to know about my never ending hatred for this man, so it’ll be our secret, okay?“ he says dramatically and clenches his fists to add more emotion to his speech about not liking Reiko’s father. Kyoutani can easily imagine thunder sounds and lighting around Naoki like in the cartoons.

"I don’t have anyone to tell,“ Kyoutani shrugs, but Naoki stops him and looks him straight in the eyes. Kyoutani’s eyes widen at how close they are, and he stares into Naoki’s eyes, not knowing what Naoki’s intention is.

"Still, you have to promise! I trusted you, and now you have to promise,“ Naoki doesn’t look away, and neither does Kyoutani. They stare at each other for a few seconds, Kyoutani wondering why is Naoki taking it so seriously, but in the end he comes to a conclusion that overreacing is just Naoki’s thing.

"I promise not to tell anyone,“ Kyoutani murmurs and rolls his eyes at how stupid this situation is. They are standing in the middle of the street, only one feet away from each other, staring into each other eyes passionately, only because Kyoutani has to promise not to tell anyone about Naoki’s dislike for Reiko’s father.

It’s stupid, so stupid, but Kyoutani feels something like pride creeping inside him because he knows something that nobody else knows. He knows something Naoki didn’t tell anyone, but him. A secret that only two of them know about.

"See, it’s not that hard,“ Naoki steps away again, finally leaving Kyoutani’s personal space. "Lead the way! I want to play already.“

-

Today, they spend three hours playing only volleyball. It may not seem like it, but time really flies when he’s having so much fun. They take a short break after every twenty minutes to catch their braeth and drink. As it turns out, Naoki took two big bottles full of water from home because he kinda predicted that Kyoutani forgets to bring even a small amount of drink with him. When Kyoutani asks him how could he predict it, Naoki just shrugs and says it was an instinct.

Kyoutani’s face starts to burn after some time, and he wants to turn back time and listen to his father when he said to aplly sunscreen on his face before going out. Kyoutani started to regret not listening to him after maybe one and a half hour of playing under the sun, but he won’t admit it to his father just to hear ‘ _I told you so_ ‘. His father will notice it anyway, since his cheeks and nose are sunburnt, and Kyoutani can already see the grin on his father‘s face as if saying the famous ‘ _I told you so_ ‘ lines. So annyoing.

Kyoutani can say that he is getting better at tossing the ball, but it still looks horrible when he does it. Naoki doesn’t laugh, though. He calms Kyoutani down everytime he sees that he is too frustrated to concentrate and then helps him with his technique. His arms hurt so much, and he is sure that they will hurt for next hour, but it still feels good. Knowing that the pain is good for something makes Kyoutani feel better, and it’s easier to overlook the pain this way too.

After playing volleyball for three hours, Kyoutani lets himself fall on the grass under a tree. He feels too tired to stand, so it’s the best possible choice. When he’s lying on ground, his eyes fall at the sky above. The sun’s still shining, and there are not many clouds at the sky today. The wind is gentle, and the leaves on the tree above him move only occasionally. 

"Stop frowning, you’ll get wrinkles,“ Naoki says with a grin, pressing the pad of his thumb against the crease between Kyoutani’s eyebrows. Kyoutani slaps his hand away with a qrunt and rubs his face.

He watches Naoki carefully as the boy sits down next to him. He wraps his hands around his legs and looks up at the sky up . He has got this little smile on his face, and Kyoutani just stares at him from the corners of his eyes for a few seconds.

"I can’t help it,“ Kyoutani mutters and sighs heavily. Naoki is right, he’ll get wrinkles like this, and he will be the first eleven years old kid with wrinkles. He has to stop.

"You seem deep in thought,“ Naoki shifts his eyes from the sky to Kyoutani, putting his head on his arms that are wrapped around his legs. "Is something troubling you?“

Naoki seems truly concered about him, and it makes Kyoutani feel unbelievably happy. He may not look like it, but he is. He feels great in Naoki’s company, he even forgot about Reiko not being here. He wonders if she likes volleyball too, and if she does, probably not as much as Naoki.

„I don’t know which junior high school to choose. I’ve been arguing about it with my father for so long because I don’t want to think about it, but I understand that I have to tell him soon or later. It better be soon, but I just don’t know,“ Kyoutani says in one breath. He wanted to let it all out, and now he finally could. He feels more relaxed now, sharing his insecurities with someone. He thought that it was all talk, feeling better after getting out something that troubles you and such, but after telling Naoki about his problem, he really does feel better.

"You should go to Minamisan Junior High,“ he hears Naoki say beside him cheerfully, giving Kyoutani one of his bright smiles.

"Why?“

"Because that’s where I’m going, obviously!“ Naoki flicks him in the forhead. "Stupid.“

Kyoutani’s lips part, his mouth slightly open. He doesn’t even know that he’s got his mouth open until Naoki tells him to close it. It was unintentional, and Kyoutani is sure it was because of the surprise caused by Naoki.

"Stop calling me stupid,“ Kyoutani mumbles quietly, looking away. Why does his face feel warmer than before? He can’t be blushing, absolutely not.

"Then stop being stupid, stupid,“ Naoki swiftly replies and pokes him in the ribs. "No, really. Come to Minamisan with me. We can play volleyball together for three years. It sounds fun, right?“

Kyoutani is silent for a while, and Naoki must think that he is wondering if he should go to Minamisan or not, but Kyoutani is already hunderd percent sure he will go to Minamisan. He simply needs time for processing that Naoki wants to go to school with him, to play volleyball with him, to be _with_ him _._

"I’ll go to Minamisan, then,“ Kyoutani closes his eyes and feels the corners of his twitching upright. It’s been so long since he smiled. Not just a little, easily overlooked smile, but a big, bright smile like Naoki’s.

He will be finally able to tell his father which school he wants to go to, and he will be going there with _his friend_. Things can’t get any better.  

"Oh my God, you’re smiling!“ Naoki exclaims loudly and his palm is on Kyoutani’s forehead before Kyoutani can say a word. "Maybe you have a fever.“

"Stop it!“ Kyoutani pushes himself away from Naoki, sounding offended. He is still smiling, though.

"Your smile is really nice, you know. You should smile more,“ Naoki whispers in the summer air and smiles, too.

Kyoutani looks at Naoki with wide eyes, blinking in surprise. It’s the first time someone told him that his smile is nice. Kyoutani can’t even believe Naoki really said it.

He feels that he is starting blushing so he turns to the side and frowns. It’s so embarrassing to blush like some girl with a big crush who just got complimented. And yet, he can’t make himself stop.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yesssss, I made it in time!! Applause for me.  
> This chapter is shorter than the first one, hope you don't mind. Yahaba is not in this chapter either, BUT he will (maybe) appear in the next one. 
> 
> Thank you for kudos, bookmarks and comments. It really made my day, and since I was reading the comment at school, I got weird looks from my classmates, but whatever. THANK YOU VERY MUCH, I appreciate it :) I would like hear your opinions this time too, so if you have some time, please write a short comment. I want to know if you guys liked the chapter.
> 
> The omurice that is mentioned in the fic - https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Omurice. It's extremely good, really. My mother makes it for a breakfast sometimes, and I can't get enough. You should try it when you're out of ideas!
> 
> Also, I saw Big Hero 6 yesterday - I'm so late, I know *sighs* - and it's totally amazing. 
> 
> I will post the next chapter on Sunday/Monday. I will preferably update every week at the same time, but I'll let you know if something goes wrong :). 
> 
> Also be ready for way too much angst in the next chapter. You're welcome.

Since meeting Reiko and Naoki, Kyoutani’s life changed completly. He doesn’t feel lonely anymore, because his friends are with him every day. Kyoutani’s parents also seem more relaxed when they know that their son has finally found some friends and isn’t playing by himself when he’s out.

To be honest, Kyoutani doesn’t even know what are they doing when they’re out. Most of the time, they play volleyball. Naoki is really bitter when they don’t get to play volleyball at least for one hour a day, and Kyoutani is more than happy to play with him, even though it means to leave Reiko out for a while. He found out she doesn’t really like playing volleyball, and he told her that they don’t have to play if she doesn’t want to, but Reiko insisted. She said that it’s okay because she will have time for making flower crowns. He also discovered that she likes flowers as much as Naoki likes volleyball, and she wants to be a florist when she grows up. She seemed to know what she wants to do in her future. Kyoutani thinks it must be nice to know exactly what you want to do in your life. He doesn’t even know what to eat when he’s hungry.

They have ice cream at least two times a day, every one of them choosing different flavor. They usually eat half of their own ice cream, and then decide to share the ice cream with one another so everyone will have a taste of a differently flavored ice cream. Kyoutani was surprised at first that he doesn’t mind it at all.

After ice cream, they go to their favorite place under a tree where they lay down and observe the sky. They talk about many things and usually end up bickering because there is always something they disagree on.

They watch these funny videos where people fail miserably trying to do something cool on Kyuotani’s mobile and laugh at their stupidity afterwards. Somehow, they always end up watching volleyball videos because Naoki takes control of Kyoutani’s phone. When he once starts showing them his favorite volleyball players in action, there is no way that they can come back to watching whatever they were watching before, since Naoki will keep saying _’just one more_ ‘ after every video. Even though Reiko doesn’t like playing volleyball, she enjoys watching videos about volleyball. While Kyoutani likes the way spikers hit the ball with so much power, Reiko likes the way setters are able to get the ball to the other players, and Naoki is totally in love with how are some players able to save a ball that seems impossible to save. He wants to be a libero in the future, and Kyoutani always teases him about the high possibility of becoming a libero even if he didn’t want to be one because of Naoki’s height. It’s not so funny anymore when Naoki reaminds him that they are the same height.

Kyoutani is still uncomfortable when there are Reiko’s or Naoki’s other friends around. He can feel their glares every once in a while, but Naoki and Reiko seem to be having fun, so he doesn’t say anything about how uncofortable he feels.

They always play a different game, and when they play games in teams, Kyoutani tries his best to win every time in every single game so the other kids won’t hate on him for dragging the whole team down. And it works. He gets a lot of compliments from others for being really good at sports, whether it’s soccer, volleyball, or basketball. Kyoutani likes playing sports more than stupid hide and seek, and he tries to make the best out of everything he does while playing sports because doing something half-assed isn’t his thing. If he doesn’t play with everything he has, it doesn’t feel right.

Everything’s going perfectly fine, so why in the world would Naoki suggest something like a sleepover in his house?

"But why not? Should I ask your parents for you?“ Naoki asks, sly grin spreading across his face, and Reiko covers her mouth to hide her laugh.

"Of course not!“ Kyoutani huffs angrily, folding his arms on his chest. He looks away from Naoki, staring somewhere in the distance. It would be so embarrassing if Naoki was serious and asked them instead of Kyoutani. His father would surely make fun of him for so long if it really happened.

"So ask them,“ Naoki sighs dramatically and leans back against the bench they are currently sitting on. "Why don’t you want to ask them?“

"I didn’t say I don’t want to ask them,“ Kyoutani isn’t lying. It’s not about asking for permission from his parents, it’s more about him not wanting to go. Truthfully, it’s not about him not wanting to go either. He really wants to go and have his first sleepover ever, but he is afraid to go.

What if Naoki's parents won't like him and decide that their son shouldn't hang out with someone like him? Naoki and Reiko are both a perfect representation of cheerful and happy, brighting the place everywhere they go without trying. Their parents must be the same, smiling at everyone around them and being positive at all times. Kyoutnai is the exact opposite. He frowns instead of smiling and is negative even in the most unconvinient situations. Naoki’s parents might think that he will have a bad influence on him or something like that and forbid Naoki to hang out with Kyoutani.

"Then what’s the problem?“ Naoki demands and looks at him with narrowed eyes. Kyoutani doesn’t know what to say because he obviously can’t tell Naoki the real reason why he doesn’t want to go, but he can’t say that his parents won’t allow him to go, because Naoki is stubborn enough to ask Kyoutani’s parents for permission instead of him. They would probably be more than happy to say yes, and they would pack his things in ten seconds, wishing him goodbye and lots of fun.

And then it comes to him, the ultimate excuse that will work like a charm.

"Today’s the volleyball match,“ Kyoutani starts, carefully choosing his words to not leave a single chance for Naoki to think of something that would make the sleepover possible. "It will be probably very late when the match ends. I wouldn’t make it.“

For a while, Naoki doesn’t say anything. His eyes are fixed on Kyoutani’s face, observing him. It’s more than likely that Naoki thinks that Kyoutani is just trying to turn his offer down, and the only thing Kyoutani can do to prove him wrong is acting like nothing’s wrong. He is a good actor when he needs to be.

"I know that today’s the match, and I have a big suprise for you!“ Naoki looks rather happy about telling Kouytani the big surprise, but Kyoutani can feel something bad coming. He can hear it in the voice, the sly voice that Naoki sometimes use to make him to something.

"Yeah?“ Kyoutani tries to look composed, but his hands are sweating, and he swears that he can’t breath normally.

"I am going to see the match too, isn’t it amazing?“ he laughs and his eyes are closely watching Kyoutani, waiting for his reaction. "My mom bought us tickets yesterday. She told me this morning, saying she wanted to surprise me. We can meet up after the match and go to my place.“

Kyoutani’s throat is dry the moment Naoki starts talking about the big surprise. His seemingly perfect plan was crushed too soon, and now Kyoutani doesn’t have an excuse aynmore. The thoughts are swirling in his head, and he is starting to feel like he could pass out every second. Someone might think that Kyoutani is overreacting, but he really isn’t. The fear of losing the only friends he has made in his entire life is eating him inside out. He can’t go.

"Oh,“ Kyoutani is still thinking of what to say, and it better come to him quick because Naoki will find out that he was really trying to get out of the sleepover. He doesn’t want Naoki to think something bad of him, or think that that he doesn’t want to go.

"So you’ll come?“ Kyoutani would be really grateful if Naoki just let him think for a second. How is he supposed to think when Naoki’s voice is so hopeful that it makes Kyoutani sad to turn him down?

Kyoutani looks at Naoki who is smiling like an idiot, looking at him with those big eyes telling him that he would only waste time with trying to say no. In the end, Naoki is the one who always wins an argument, being proud right after as if he saved a cat from a tree.

"If I have to,“ Kyoutani mumbles.

"That’s what I wanted to hear!“ seeing how excited about the sleepover Naoki is, Kyoutani thinks that if this is going to be his last day with Naoki and Reiko, he should make the best out of it and not be so sour. He wants to be positive the first time in his life and believe that maybe, just maybe, Naoki’s parents and Reiko’s mom will like him.

"Yeah, clearly,“ Kyoutani deadpans, but he is smiling. He is afraid and excited at the same time, and he doesn’t know what to do about it. _A sleepover_. This word lingers in Kyoutani’s mind longer than necessary, making him feel strangely pleased. This is going to be his first – and maybe the last – sleepover ever.

-

He gets home around 6 p.m., just in time for dinner. His mother was working all day, and since his father forgot to go shopping, they had to order pizza. Kyoutani doesn’t mind in the slightest, he loves pizza more than he should. His mother was not very pleased that Kyoutani’s father forgot to go shopping, though.

"Can I sleep at my friend’s house tonight?“ Kyoutani asks while eating his first slice of heavenly good pizza.

His mother makes a choking sound and starts coughing right after, immediately reaching for some water. His father just stares at Kyoutani with a surprise written all over his face, the slice of pizza that he’s holding slips from his hand and falls back on the plate.

Everyone is quiet for a while, and Kyoutani isn’t even taken back by his parents‘ reaction to his question. Kyoutani himself can’t believe he asked if he can spend the night at his friend’s house. Two weeks ago, he would have never thought that it’s possible to make some friends, nor have a sleepover.

"At Naoki’s?“ his mother manages to ask after a few seconds that felt more like forever than forty seconds. She is trying to steady her breath after coughing so much, but she isn’t successful and has to drink more water.

He is glad that he told his parents about Naoki and Reiko before so that he doesn’t have to explain in whose house is he going to spend the night. If his parents allow him to go, that is.

"Yes,“ he answers, and he can feel his father eyes on him. Kyoutani knows what he’s going to ask, so he answers before his father can ask the question. "I’d go after the match. He is going to the match too, so they’d take me with them afterwards.“

His parents Exchange a look, and then turns their heads to Kyoutani again. It’s his father who speaks this time. „You can go, of course.“

Kyoutani doesn’t know if he should feel happy or not, because if his parents said no, he wouldn’t have to go through so much stress right now. He still can’t get the thought of Naoki’s parents not linking him out of his head, and he can’t function like that.

"But you have to be home before lunch, understood?“ His mother adds, and Kyoutani nods.

His parents start talking about today’s good weather, discussing a family trip since it’s been so hot this week. His mother would like to take a day off so they can go somewhere next week, saying she would be very glad if her boss said yes to her request to take day of, because it would be nice to go somewhere together.

Kyoutani isn’t very interested in what they’re saying. If they decide to go somewhere, he will go, but he doesn’t care about the whole conversation before the final decision. However, he is glad that they don’t talk about Kyoutani’s ‘social life‘ like yesterday. It was so awkward that he wishes it never happend.

"Kentarou, if you want to take a shower before we go, you should go now,“ his father informed him after what could bet he fourth slice of pizza, looking at the clock on the wall. Kyoutani looks too, seeing that it has already been twenty minutes since he started to eat, and he can’t believe it takes him so long to eat fours slices of pizza. He would eat more if he had more time, but since he wants to shower before going to see the match, he chooses to leave the other fours slices for tomorrow.

Kyoutani takes a quick shower, knowing he doesn’t have time to waste if he wants to leave the house in fifteen mintes from now. He also needs to pack a few things for the sleepover at Naoki’s and even though it’s his first sleepover, he knows what to pack. Or he thinks he knows because it can’t be hard, right? He just needs to pack basic things like his toothbrush, his pajamas, socks…

He is dressed in a second, leaving the room with a backpack on his back and hoping he has got everything he’ll need. He wonders if he should also take some snacks, smething they can eat before o rafter diner if they’re hungry, but he doesn’t know what. He hopes it won’t be a big problem if he doesn’t bring anything beside clothes and his toothbrush with him.

Kyoutani’s father is already waiting for him at the front door, smiling slightly. He must be excited, he’s been talking about the match every day since he bought the tickets. Kyoutani is quite excited himself. It’s going to bet he first match he’ll see with his own eyes, not just on TV.

Volleyball has become a part of his life without Kyoutani’s notice, but he doesn’t mind. He likes volleyball, but he is not in love with it as much as Naoki is. Yes, it’s fun to play volleyball, and it’s an amazing feeling when he manages to recieve the ball properly. It’s just that he still doesn’t feel like he would take volleyball seriously in the future. Kyoutani takes volleyball as a hobby, but playing it for real is something totally different.

Kyoutani thinks it’s extremely selfish to play volleyball just because he likes it. He can’t be part of a team if the only reason he plays volleyball is because of fun. Kyoutani would be pretty angry too if there was someone like himself in a team. Those people who decide to join volleyball club, or any club for that matter, are wishing to be the best. Their dreams consist of going to nationals with their team, to win, to be the best of all. They take it very seriously, practising until they can’t anymore, doing recieves until they feel like their arms are going to fall off if they do one more recieve, practising serving and spiking until their legs feel like jelly, trying to toss the ball exactly where the spikers should hit it until their fingers are all bruised. If he wants to play volleyball with Naoki at school, he has to be determined to get better, to do everything he can so he won’t have any regrets if they lose a match. The problem is, Kyoutani doesn’t feel like he wants to practise volleyball until he passes out. He doesn’t deserve to be in a team full of people who are willing to do everything to get better if he doesn’t have the same dreams or enthusiasm as the others.

"Ready to go?“ his father asks, checking once more if he has his wallet, mobile, and keys. He hums after seeing he has everything he needs, putting all of the things back in his pocket. Kyoutani wonders if he should buy his father a backpack too so he doesn’t have to stuff his pockets so much.

Kyoutani nods as if saying yes and puts his shoes on, then turning back to his mother who is standing beside them and giving her a kiss on the cheek. When he steps out of the house, he can see his father saying goodbye to his mother, but to Kyoutani’s surprise, they don’t kiss. He feels a mixture of feelings inside him after seeing his parents part only with a _goodbye_. Aren’t they supposed to kiss? Aren’t people in love supposed to kiss when they part, even if it’s just for a short amount of time?

He looks away from the image of his parents talking at the doorway, staring at the ground. He clenches one of the shoulder straps of the backpack tighter than before, trying to pass all the emotions he can’t deal with on his backpack, as if it was possible. Kyoutani doesn’t know what to think about the kiss that never came, and he doesn’t want to think about something negative, so he tries his best to forget about it.

Kyoutani is rather surprised that his mother didn’t give him a long talk about how glad she is that her beloved son has finally found some friends and is having his first sleepover today. He was expecting it, because his mother likes to talk a lot about everything that happens and goes into a depth while talking. It was a pleasant surprise that the talk didn’t happen. He doesn’t need any more reasons to stress about the whole sleepover thing than he has now.

He patiently waits for his father to join him, kicking a rock on the ground while waiting for him. It doesn’t take his father very long to come up to Kyoutani, telling him they can go. His father is smiling at him warmly, and Kyoutani has a really big urge to ask if there’s a reason he didn’t kiss Kouytani‘s mother, but Kyoutani feels like it would ruin the pleasant mood, so he doesn’t ask anything. He observes his father’s face, and he can easily see through the nice smile on his lips. His father is smiling, but his eyes are practically screaming the word _hurt_. Kyoutani wants to tell his father he doesn’t need to pretend that everything is perfectly fine for Kyoutani’s sake, because Kyoutani knows something’s wrong. He admires his father for trying to hide the problems that would most likely hurt Kyoutani if he knew about them, though. When he grows up and has his own children, Kouytani wants to be as strong as his father.

"Are you excited?“ Kyoutani asks when they finally start walking in the direction of the biggest gymnasium in their prefecture where the match will begin in only fourty five minutes.

"I am,“ his father answers simply, but Kyoutani is sure that if existed a machine for measuring how excited people feel, his father’s excitement would blow it off. He can pretend all he wants, but Kyoutani knows his father too well. "Are you?“

"I don’t know,“ Kyoutani answers after a short pause. He doesn’t want to lie to his father, and this is the most honest answer he could give him. To be honest, Kouytani is more curious than excited. People say that seeing volleyball with your own eyes is something that’ll make you hooked up on the sport. Watching volleyball on television was rather boring, so Kyoutani has a perfect opportunity to find out if what people say is really true, or just another stupid rumor.

"Are you more excited about the sleepover?“ _there we go_ , Kyoutani thinks and groans. If it wasn’t his mother who gave him the talk, it’ll be his father. Was he too naive to think that his parents will just let it go? Probably.

"I’m not,“ Kyoutani grumbles and frowns. He doesn’t have any time to be excited when he’s so nervous about it. What do people even do on these sleepovers? Watch movies? Have a pillow fight like he saw on TV the otehr day? Do they talk? He is ba dat making conversations, they better just watch something on TV.

"You’re nervous,“ his father teases him, giving his shoulder a light nudge. Kyoutani said he knows his father too well to be fooled by his pretending, but that goes for both sides – Kyoutani’s father can also tell what Kyoutani’s feeling at the moment without really trying to dwell on it.

"You don’t have to be nervous, Kentarou,“ he adds, watching his son closely. Kyoutani is pretty taken back by the sudden change in his father’s voice. He sounds much more serious now, his voice sounding almost concerned. "What are you afraid of, anyway?“

The question is too easy to answer, and Kyoutani doesn’t need more than ten seconds to think about it. He’s been thinking about all the things he’s afraid of for quite a long time now – and there are many – but Kyoutani doesn’t want to make his father more concerned than he is now. It’s not just about his father, Kyoutani simply doesn’t like to be burden to anyone.  

"What if they don’t like me?“ he whispers quietly, wanting to take it all back the second the words leave his mouth. He doesn’t like to sound so vulnerable. It’s like leaving his heart lying on ground, unprotected from all the dangers of the world. He wants to be tough like his father, not pathetic like this.  

"Why wouldn’t they?“ his father laughs it off like it’s not a big deal, but to Kyoutani, the friendship with Naoki and Reiko is all he has. Aside from his family, of course.

Kyoutani’s father doesn’t think it’s not a big deal, though. It’s normal to be afraid of not making a good first impression on someone important, after all. When one truly cares about a person, they want to impress their parents, friends, coworkers, simply everyone who is important to the other person. It’s not pathetic in any way.

"Why would they?“ this answering a question with another question is getting really annoying every second, and Kyoutani gives himself a mental slap for adding one more answer-question to their conversation.

"There is no reason for them to not like you,“ his father seems to have the same thoughts as Kyoutani, finally answering normally. "And even if they managed to find a reason to not like you, as a parent, I would trust my child to choose his friends wisely. I haven’t met your new friends yet, but I know that they must be very nice, since you befriended them.“

Kyoutani almost stops, too paralyzed to walk properly. He didn’t expect an answer like that. Truthfully, Kyoutani doesn’t even know what kind of answer he _did_ expect, but this answer is everything he needed to believe in himself more. His father is truly a perfect parent.

He couldn’t suppress the smile that was slowly appearring on his face, and he didn’t even want to. He wanted to let his father know that there were no words needed anymore, that this answer worked perfectly. He feels so much more confident about the sleepover and meeting Naoki’s parents or Reiko’s mother now, and for a moment, he also forgets how doubting himself feels like.

They continue walking in silence, both of them smiling slightly, enjoying today’s good weather. Since it’s already past 6 p.m., the sun is not so strong anymore, and it’s possible to walk around without whining about how hot it is, and how sunburnt is everyone going to be after a day spent outside. The air is filled with the smell of flowers, and Kyoutani finds himself liking the smell. Even though today the wind is stronger than the days before, it is now blowing very lightly, brushing his skin and occasionally giving him chills.

What’s weird about his relationship with his father is that they don’t talk much, but still feel comfortable around each other. Truth be told, there is not much to talk about, and his father knows that Kyoutani doesn’t like to talk about how his day was, so he doesn’t ask. If Kyoutani wants to talk about something that happend while he’s been out with his friends, he’ll speak up first. When Kyoutani doesn’t talk, they usually play video games or watch movies, TV shows and volleybal matches. They can’t play video games or watch something in TV, so they just walk in silence, listening to birds tweeting on the brenches of trees alongside the road.

His father seems to be enjoying the sound of the bird’s chirping as much as Kyoutani, so they spend the way in a relaxing silence.

-

Kyoutani wants to go home.

There is so many people, and everyone is pushing their way through, not caring if they knock down other people in the process. Kyoutani hates people like that, and if he was older, he would most probably say something to them, but while he’s eleven years old, the only thing he can do is cussing under his breath so his father won’t hear him.

He almost loses his father in the crowd, but his father is careful enough to hold Kyoutani close to him, making sure his son is alright. Kyoutani never though that there will be so many people, and he wants to come back in time and mentally prepare himself for this situation. He doesn’t like being pushed around, and he also doesn’t like being in the middle of the crowd. It’s the worst thing ever.

He is happy when they finally get through the hall full of impatient people, and Kyoutani is finally able to breathe properly without having to smell the sweat of the person beside him. After he takes a deep breath after what feels like years, he opens his eyes. Kyoutani blinks a few times, astonished.

The gymnasium is _huge._ Kyoutani isn’t stupid, he knows the gymnasium has to be huge if they want to play such a serious match here, but it looks so much bigger than from the outside. He suddenly feels extremely small.

His father takes him by the hand and leads the way to their seats. Kyoutani follows obediently, still looking around the gymnasium. He can’t get enough of the sight. There are people everywhere. They are holding food in their hands, taking photos, talking to each other enthusiastically, and pointing at the players they are looking forward to see play the most.

They are making their way through people who are already seated, politely asking them to move for a second so they can get to their seats. It’s just their luck that their seats are in the middle of the row, so it takes time to get there.

"Finally,“ his father mutters and lets out an exasperated sigh. Kyoutani can tell that his father isn’t a big fan of places with so many people either.

Kyoutani puts his backpack on the ground between his legs so nobody can steal it from him. Then, he looks up and finally pays attention not only to the gymnasium, but to the players on the court. They are the reason he’s here, after all.

He checks the time on his phone, seeing that the match should start in ten minutes. He puts his mobile back into his backpack, and the moment his eyes drift to the court, he can’t look anywhere else. Everyone is so _incredible_.

Their spikes have so much power in them, the setter tosses the ball so accurately that it sends a shiver down Kyoutani’s spine, and the way libero gets the ball to the setter every time is simply perfection. Kyoutani is sure that these players have been playing together for some time now, and their synchronization is awesome. He remember one time Naoki asked him to toss him a boss so he can spike it, and Kyoutani wasn’t able to do it. He tossed it too high, too low, too close, or too far. It’s extremely hard to toss the ball so precisely, and that’s why he respects setter so much. Every spiker or middle blocker likes a different toss, and setter is able to give them the exact toss they want. It’s amazing.

Still, he enjoys seeing spikers slam the ball straight to the ground more. It’s not only about the power – even though that is what fascinates Kyoutani the most – but also about the way they jump so high above the net and hit the ball in the in the right spot, so the ball goes exactly where they want it to go.

Kyoutani doesn’t even notice how, but ten minutes are gone in a blink, and the players are lining up to greet their opponent. Kyoutani is amazed by the fact that everything goes silent for a while, because there are so many people, and suddenly, they are all quiet. The silence doesn’t last very long, though. After players greet each other, everyone starts screaming the name of the team they are cheering for.

The atmosphere is truly wonderful.

The commentator introduces every player as they step on the court, giving each other high five. Every one of the players is smiling, and Kyoutani can see how fired up they are.

When everyone is introduced, and the players are in their positions, their smiles disappear. They are not laughing anymore, their expression serious and focused on the ball in the hand of the player who is about to serve. Kyoutani can’t believe how quickly their expression changed.

„Hiro, nice serve!“ he hears one of the players call out. It was number 12, who is currently looking over his shoulder at the boy who holds the ball tightly between his fingers, trying to concentrate on the first serve of the match. The boy lets out a chuckle, winking at the teammate that called out to him, and then breaths in and out. When the whistle blows, he throws the ball high in the air, and what seems like a second, the ball is on the other side of the court, making a loud thud as it contacts with the floor, untouched by the opponents.

Kyoutani’s eyes widens in awe while the players on the other side of the court just share a shocked look.

„A service ace,“ Kyoutani whispers, more to himself than to anyone else. He’s seen on it television before, or on mobile when Naoki showed him a compilation of the best serves in the world, but this was _so different_.

When he’s seen it on television, Kyoutani just said that it was a good serve, but in this moment, he can’t seem to find the right words to describe the pure perfection of this boy’s serve. It was just… wow.

„Amazing serve, right?“ his father asks with a smile on his lips, looking over at Kyoutani. His father knew that this serve unlocked something in Kyoutani, judging by the way he keeps staring without blinking.

„Yeah,“ Kyoutani answers automatically, unable to find more words. _How can someone serve like that?_ Kyoutani can’t get this question out of his head, and even though the players continue to play, he still replays the serve in his head.

 _This is it_ , Kyoutani thinks. This is the moment that made him want to become a volleyball player.

-

„Hey, we talked about it. Don’t be so nervous,“ his father says while walking through the hall full of people. This time, the people aren’t in hurry to get to their seats, so they don’t roughly make their way past other people, and Kyoutani is more than grateful for that.

His father is right, they talked about him being nervous about the sleepover and meeting Naoki’s parents, and Kyoutani actually really stopped feeling nervous for a while, but all the stress is back again. His palms are sweating, and his stomach hurts, and everything is blurry–

"Kentarou-chan!“ Kyoutani’s head turns to the side, and he wants to run away the moment he sees Naoki waving at him. His mother is standing beside him, scolding his son for yelling when there are so many people around.

"Oh my God,“ he whispers, trying to catch his breath. Why is he suddenly so nervous? Is it even normal?

"Come on,“ his father pushes him forward gently. Kyoutani probably stopped walking for a moment and didn’t even realize it. He is sure that if his father wasn’t there with him, he would be already running in the opposite direction.

Kyoutani looks up at his father, who doesn’t seem to be worrdied at all. Why is his father so calm? He should be concerned about his son’s mental state, not smile like everything is all right. His father must feel Kyoutani’s eyes on him, because he looks down at Kyoutani too, his smile never disappearing. He pats his son’s head in attempt to reassure him that everything’s going to be okay.

This time, it doesn’t work.

"Where have you been for so long?“ Naoki asks with a smile when Kyoutani is only a few steps away from him and his mother. Naoki hangs his arm around Kyoutani’s neck when he is close enough, introducing Kyoutani to his mother.

"Good evening,“ he says hastily and bows. "Thank you for letting me spend the night.“

"Nice to meet you, Kentarou-kun. Naoki couldn’t stop talking about you since you two met, I’m happy that I can finally meet you in person. I’m Mitsue Kamiko,“ she introduces herself, saying that Kyoutani is extremely cute and polite. He blushes when he hears the word _cute._

"I’m Kyoutani Shuichi, nice to meet you,“ he hears his father introducing himself as well, and thanking Naoki’s mother for letting his son spend the night, like Kyoutani did just a few seconds ago. They immediately start talking, leaving Naoki and Kyoutani out of the conversation, so Kyoutani has some time to relax and steady his breath.

Naoki’s mother is exactly like he imagined her. She has the same smile as Naoki and a positive energy swirling all around her. Her voice is very gentle and kind, and Kyoutani can’t even imagine her yelling at someone in anger, it just wouldn’t fit her voice.

If he had to say something about her appereance, he would simply said that Naoki’s mother is like older, girl version of Naoki. Same eyes, same smile, same nose. Naoki’s mother has also similiar hair like Naoki, the only difference is her hair’s length. The color, and the messy-but-still-good-looking hairstyle is also the same. Kyoutani wonders what Naoki’s father looks like, since Naoki probably inherited his whole face from his mother.

Another thing that cathes Kyoutani’s attention is her height. She is _so tall_. She must be something over 190 cm tall. How is that even possible? Her parents must be giants. He just hopes that Naoki won’t be so tall in the future. Kyoutani can’t imagine Naoki being taller than him. Kyoutani can’t explain why, and it may sound weird, but it wouldn’t suit Naoki to be so tall.

"Kentarou-chan, you look really tense,“ Naoki remarks, still not letting go of Kyoutani. "Calm down, there is not reason for you to be nervous.“

It doesn’t matter who tells him to calm down, it doesn’t matter how many times someone says it, he still feels nervous. Yes, Naoki’s mother seems very nice, and she probably isn’t the type to judge someone based only on their appereance – at least he hopes so, because if she is, Kyoutani is screwed – but he doesn’t want to think that she actually likes him. It’s still too soon to think that, since they just met literally five minutes ago, so he can’t let himself get carried away so easily. He needs to make a good impression. He _has_ to.

"I’m not,“ he lies, and Naoki can clearly see right through his lie, because he chuckles and flicks him in the forehead.

"What was that for?!“ Kyoutani steps away from Naoki, bringing his hand up to touch his forehead right where Naoki flicked him. It doesn’t hurt, since Kyoutani is already used to that, but it’s still annoying when he does it. He actually likes to flick his forehead a lot, Kyoutani thinks. That, and he also likes to call him stupid.

"Because you’re nervous for no reason, and it pisses me off!“ Naoki says with an annoyed huff, folding his arms on his chest. This is his typical pose when he is about to start an argument, or when he isn’t satisfied with something. In this moment, it’s probably the latter.

"I’m not,“ he repeats, and now he tries to sound more convincing. It doesn’t work, though. Naoki is like a mind reader, and Kyoutani curses the one who is responsible for Naoki’s abilty to see right through every lie.

"Okay. If you’re not nervous,“ he makes a dramatic pause. It’s so like him to act like this, stupid drama queen. "Then prove it!“

There it is, another one of Naoki’s flawless ideas. "How am I supposed to prove it?“

"I don’t know, think about it. More importantly, did you like the match?“ he asks with a smile, looking really curious about Kyoutani’s answer. They talked about the match before, and when Naoki asked if he’s excited, Kyoutani answered with the same answer he gave his father – he doesn’t know. Naoki told him that after the match today, he will fall in love with volleyball. Now, he is probably curious if he was right. He was right, like always, but Kyoutani isn’t going to admit it.

"Kind of,“ he answers shortly and looks away, trying to remain composed.

Kyoutani wasn’t used to showing his emotions or feelings before, because if others knew about his feelings, it made it easier for them to hurt him. He didn’t like feeling vulnerable, so he forbid himself displaying any kind of emotion. He knows Naoki wouldn’t hurt him even if he opened up a little bit more, but he can’t make this habit disappear in a week.

"Okay, come on. We should get going,“ Naoki’s mother says, and Kyoutani is more than grateful to her, because he knows that Naoki was going to start babbling about how awesome he is for predicting that Kyoutani is going to take volleyball more seriously after seeing the match today.

"Have fun,“ his father winks at him and pats him on the head, reminding him to be home before lunch tomorrow. Kyoutani nods in understanding, saying he’ll be home around 11 a.m. His mother promised to make him his favourite cake for a dessert, so he can’t miss it. He knows his father would eat his piece of cake as well if he didn’t make it in time, and Kyoutani can’t make it happen.

"I will. Goodbye,“ at least he hopes so.

His father turns to leave, slowly walking away in the darkness of the night with his hands in the pockets of his black pants. He looks at Kyoutani over his shoulder one more time and waves at him with a smile before turning the corner in the end of the street.

When his father is gone, Kyoutani knows that there is no turning back now.

"What would you like to have for dinner, Kentarou-kun?“ Naoki’s mother asks in a sweet voice and starts walking in the opposite direction as his father. He followes her with Naoki stuck by his side, but Naoki, who is clinging to him like Kyoutani is his favourite toy, is making walking pretty hard. In normal circumstances – and if the one who was holding onto his arm wasn’t Naoki – he would have probably pushed the person away with a _get off me right now,_ but since it’s Naoki, he simply can’t. The reason why is unknown for Kyoutani, but he is unable to push him away just like that. The fact that Kyoutani likes being close to Naoki may have something to do with it, but it’s not only that. Maybe it’s also because he always feels somewhat disappointed after Naoki lets go of him after a few minutes of holding onto his arm, exactly in the same position as he is holding him now.

"Everything’s fine,“ Kyoutani answers. It is hard to talk right now, since he feels like he has something stuck in his throat. He tries to focus on Naoki’s closeness rather than on standing and talking next to the tallest woman he has ever met in his life, who just happens to be Naoki’s mother.

"We should have something sweet,“ Naoki suggest and nudges Kyoutani, wanting him to say something in agreement, but he just repeated his previous line about everything being okay. He isn’t a picky person and even if he was, it would be impolite to say no to anything Naoki’s mother offers.

"Not happening. You have to eat actual food, but you can have ice cream after dinner,“ she smiles, knowing that Naoki wouldn’t refuse ice cream, since he likes it so much. She turns to Kyoutani again, leaving Naoki sulking. "Is omurice okay? Naoki’s father bought so many eggs, and I don’t know what to do with them.“

She probably referred to her husband as Naoki’s father because if he called him by his name, Kyoutani wouldn’t know who is she talking about.

"Yeah, it’s okay. I like omurice,“ he answers honestly and tries to smile at her. He still isn’t used to smile very often, so Kyoutani hopes his smile isn’t as creepy as he thinks. The only who who ever told him that his smile was nice – beside his parents – was Naoki.

Truth be told, Kyoutani doesn’t just _like_ omurice. He loves it. It was the first meal Kyoutani cooked when he was only eight years old. Of course, he didn’t make it alone. He was accompanied by his father, who helped him and kept an eye on Kyoutani, so he wouldn’t burn their whole kitchen down. It is one of the best memories he has with his father.

"We had omurice two days ago,“ Naoki whines and puts his head on Kyoutani’s shoulder to make his protest more dramatic. Kyoutani forgets how to breathe for a while when Naoki does that, because his face is _so close_.

 _Weird_ , Kyoutani thinks, not giving it much thought after his breathing becomes steady again. He blames it on their strong friendship, assuming it’s normal. It has to be.

"Well, tell your father to buy something we need, instead of buying tons of eggs,“ she dismisses Naoki’s attempt to protest, and Kyoutani silently envies her for being able to say no to Naoki. It must be because she is his mother, yes, but Kyoutani sometimes wants to have the ability to say no to him, too. Everytime he wants to refuse one of Naoki weird ideas, Naoki does this pouty face of his and everything goes to Hell, because Kyoutani is unabable to say no when Naoki starts pouting. He should definitely work more on that. Maybe he’ll learn how to say no to Naoki from his mother. It would definitely make his life a lot easier.

"I will. If I don’t overdose with eggs and die until I’ll be able to tell him,“ Naoki mumbles petulantly. Kyoutani doesn’t want to sound mean or anything, but he is glad that Naoki got rejected like this, because now he’s holding Kyoutani’s arm tighter than before. It feels nice when he is gripping his arm like that, and it also feels nice when he’s so close to Kyoutani, for no particular reason.

"I’ll make sure you won’t.“

-

"We’re home!“ Naoki’s mother annouces right after opening the front door. Their house looked big on the outside, but it’s even bigger on the inside. They must be pretty rich, and Kyoutani is glad that Naoki and his family are rich, but are still very kind and gracious.

One time, when he was shopping with his father in a convinience store, he met two women that were dressed more extravagant than they needed to be, wearing gold bracelets and necklaces, their real faces hidden under thousand layers of make-up. Kyoutani isn’t the person to judge people by their appereance, but this was too much. Unfortunately, they ended up standing in a line right behind them. It was impossible not to hear what they were talking about, and Kyoutani wished he was deaf for a moment so he didn’t have to hear their meaningless conversation about plastic surgery and people in the convinience store, who are according to them awfully dressed. Kyoutani could tell that they weren’t smart from their conversation, and he feared that many of rich people are like them. He is happy to find out that not all rich people are assholes.

"Oh, finally,“ Kyoutani can hear a male voice not so far away of them. It doesn’t take long for the owner of the voice to show up, and kiss Naoki’s mother on the mouth. He must be Naoki’s father, then. "Welcome back.“

He doesn’t remember the last time he saw his parents kiss.

"Did you protect your mother all the way home, you brave little man?“ he asks Naoki as he bends down to his eye level, ruffling his already messy hair.

"Obviously,“ Naoki smiles brightly, looking like the biggest hero in the whole universe. It makes Kyoutani laugh quietly, and not only because Naoki’s pose is totally ridiculous. He laughs because even though Naoki wants to look tough in his father’s eyes, it was more like his mother protected Naoki from the start. Naoki got scared after hearing a noise behind a bush and was ready to run, but his mother just sighed and started to walking toward the bush. He wanted to drag her away, but she insisted on looking behind the bush. She pulled out a brown cat, showing it to Naoki with a laugh and teased him about it ll the way home.

That’s why Kyoutani looks at Naoki’s mother, waiting for her to say something about it, but she doesn’t. She just chuckles, but doesn’t say anything.

"That’s good, she is lucky to have you,“ he kisses Naoki on the cheek, and Naoki immediately starts scrubbing his cheek, saying he told his father not to do that, because he doesn’t like it.

"And who are you?“ he suddenly turns to Kyoutani, frowning at him. Kyoutani takes a step bac kan yelps in surprise, holding the straps of his backpack tighter.

"I-I’m Kyoutani Kentarou. Nice to meet you,“ he says, louder than he intended. He knew that Naoki’s family won’t like him. He knew it, he knew it, he knew–

"Nice to meet you too, Kyoutani,“ Naoki’s father expression changes in a second and is replaced by a smile, causing Kyoutani to blink in surprise. What the hell? „I’m Mitsue Daiki.“

Naoki's father is tall as well, but not as tall as Naoki's mother. Naoki will probably be tall to, since his parents are giants.

Kyoutani was right about Naoki looking like his mother, because the only thing he has in common with his father is the shape of his face - his face gracefully tapers to his chin, he has wider forehead and prominent cheekbones. 

"Would you stop doing that already? You scared the poor kid,“ Naoki’s mother sighs and folds her arms over her chest, closing her eyes.

 _Oh, this is the same thing Naoki did to me when we first met_ , Kyoutani remembers. He was pretty scared back then, too. Kyoutani can see who taught him to do it, and scaring people like that isn’t nice. Kyoutani just had a panic attack right now.

"Yeah, yeah,“ he rolls his eyes and reaches out a hand. „Sorry, kiddo.“

Kyoutani accepts his hand, giving Naoki‘s father a short handshake before letting go. „It’s okay.“

"Ken-chan!“ he doesn’t have time to process what’s happening before Reiko jumps at him and hugs him strongly. Kyoutani almost loses his balance, but in the end he only stumbles a few steps back and hits the front door with his back. „I’m so glad to see you!“

Reiko lets him go, and Kyoutani blinks a few times, replaying what just happened in his mind. He knows Reiko likes to touch people a lot – even more than Naoki – but that was unexpected.

What’s more unexpected is that it doesn’t feel as good as when Naoki hugged him, even though he didn’t hug him as strongly, or for didn’t hold him in his arms as long as Reiko. It felt good when Reiko hugged him, sure, but it wasn’t the same. Kyoutani could tell it was entirely different.

He still doesn’t think much about it, blaming it on the fact that he feels closer to Naoki than he feels to Reiko, and that is the only reason hugging Naoki feels more pleasant. It should explain why his heart stutters everytime Naoki touches him as well, right? This is the only reason, for sure.

"My mom isn’t here, because she is visiting a friend, but you will meet her tomorrow when she returns,“ Reiko says with a smile. He barely has time to take off his shoes before Reiko takes Kyoutani by hand and starts dragging him away from Naoki’s parents, further into the house. Naoki is right behind them, following Reiko into the living room.

"My favorite movie is starting right now, you two should watch it with me,“ she sits on the big, soft sofa and lets go of Kyoutani’s hand, reaching for TV remote to add on volume.

"She really likes the movie, that’s why she’s acting all weird,“ Naoki whispers in Kyoutani’s ear, and it sends a shiver down Kyoutani spine. He gulps loudly, trying to forget how Naoki’s breath felt on his skin the moment Naoki moves away from him, because honestly, what’s that feeling? It’s the second time today he feels strange like this. He is not used to feelings like this.

"Oh, don’t act like you don’t like it!“ she slaps Naoki’s head, and Kyoutani has to bend forward so he doesn’t get hit, too. „You cried when you first saw it.“

"I did not!“

"Did too!“

"Did not!“

"Did too!“

"Okay, maybe I did, but it doesn’t matter,“ Naoki rolls his eyes and tells Reiko to focus on the movie if she likes it so much. She doesn’t argue anymore and really does focus on the movie, blinking only when it’s really necessary. She must really love the movie.

"What’s the movie called?“ Kyoutani asks Naoki, not wanting to disturb Reiko. He doesn’t like being disturbed by other people when he’s doing or watching something he likes either.

"Big Hero 6,“ Naoki answers with a whisper again, and Kyoutani ignores – or at least tries to ignore – the way it’s making him feel. He doesn’t understand it, and he doesn’t want to. It’s probably just because of him feeling overly happy that he can be there with his friends, and it’s making him feel sensitive like this.

"Oh, I’ve heard about it,“ he says, remembering the one time his mother mentioned a new movie that was in her opinion the best animated movie she has ever seen. She promised to watch it with him, but she never really had the time, since she is working most of the time.

"It’s pretty good, yeah,“ Naoki admits, bringing his legs up to his chin and resting his head on them.

"Didn’t Reiko say you cried the first time you saw it?“ Kyoutani teases, noticing the blush working its way up his neck. It was maybe the third time he could see Naoki blush, because Naoki is not usually embarrassed by what others say. He just smiles and brushes it off like it’s nothing. It’s strange to see him blush, but Kyoutani would gladly spend his day just looking at Naoki’s blushing face. It’s not something he can see everyday, after all.

"You’re going to cry too, so shut up.“

-

Naoki is right, once again. Kyoutani doesn’t actually _cry_ , but his eyes are full of tears, and he is afraid that they are going to fall out of his eyes. They don’t, but he is teased by having watery eyes, anyway.

The movie was really good, and Kyoutani agrees with his mother on this being the best animated movie he has ever seen. It was funny, but still sad at the same time. He likes everything about the movie, honestly. He will watch it again in the future.

After the movie ends, Naoki’s mother calls them into the dining room, saying their dinner is ready. She doesn’t have to say it, because the smell of food is everywhere, whirling around Kyoutani, and he feels like he is able to find the dining room just by following the delicious smell.

The food is very tasty too. He eats his portion in what feels like seconds, licking his lips with closed eyes, favoring the flavour a bit longer. Naoki stays true to his word and tells his father not to buy so many eggs the next time he goes shopping. He eats just one half of his omurice, saying he can’t eat the whole meal because he is already full. Kyoutani doesn’t think twice before saying that he will eat the other half instead of Naoki, and Naoki’s parents just laugh at Kyoutani’s appetite. Kyoutani blushes a little, but continues eating. He just loves this food so much.

Kyoutani was right about Naoki’s parents having the same personality as their son, and he is happy that they don’t mind him being completly different than them. He finds out that Kyoutani’s father likes playing video games, so they play together for a while. Kyoutani feels nervous for the first ten minutes, being with Naoki’s father an all, but after said ten minutes, he is not nervous at all. He doesn’t even know why he was nervous before, because Naoki’s parents are so nice and accepting that he feels like he is visiting his own family.

They play at least eleven times, Naoki switching with his father for a few games and then switching back because Naoki’s father wants his revenge, and Reiko with Naoki’s mom cheering from behind them. Kyoutani wins most of the time, since he plays this exact video game with his father all the time at home.

When time for sleeping finally comes, Naoki’s parents decide not to split the three of them to different rooms and let them stay together in the living room. They have a huge couch that can be turned into a queen sized bed when you unfold it, so Naoki’s parents let them sleep here, since there is enough space for all of them. They bring some blankets and pillows, so everyone will be comfortable and kiss them goodnight before going to their bedroom. Kyoutani is fairly surprised when he gets a kiss on the forehead from Naoki’s mother too, and his face is flaming red in a matter of seconds.

They lay together on the couch, talking for another thrity minutes, slowly drifting off to sleep, and eventually falling alseep in the middle of their sentence. The one one who is still up is Kyoutani, who just stares at the ceiling, replaying everything that happend today and everything that led Kyoutani to this moment. He can’t even imagine that he wouldn’t be lying between Naoki and Reiko on the couch in Naoki’s house, that he wouldn’t play video games with Naoki and Naoki’s father for an hour, that he wouldn’t _be here_ with Naoki and Reiko if he Reiko didn’t come to him that day and said that he should play with her and her friends. He would miss so much.

He turns his head to the right and watches Reiko sleep soundly beside him, blanket brought up to her nose even though it’s summer. Many may think it’s weird to be wrapped up in a blanket even if it’s super hot, but Kyoutani understand her very well. Her need in being covered in blankets even in this season is something like Kyoutani’s obsession with having hot showers no matter what season it is.

He turns his head to the left to see Naoki peacefully sleeping too, but unlike Reiko, his blanket is rumpled under his body. He snores quietly, sometime mumbling a thing or two from sleep. He changes his position almost every minute, shifting and wiggling every second. He must be having a pretty wild dream.

Kyoutani falls asleep while observing Naoki’s sleeping face, shifting closer to him before he passes out completely, accompanied by the sound of Naoki‘s steady breathing.

He wants to believe that tangling their fingers together was unintentional, only an innocent friendly gesture.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> !!!EDIT - I WILL POST THE NEW CHAPTER TOMORROW (19th April)!!! Sorry for not being able to make it on time T_T


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey! New chapter! Finally!  
> I said that there will be a lot of angst, but I decided to put all the angst in one chapter, so you have to wait another week for the promised angst. Here, have some fluff instead. 
> 
> I want to thank you for all your beautiful comments and kudos and bookmarks! I am really glad you enjoy this fanfic, and I will do my best not to screw up. *nervous laugh*
> 
> Also, sorry that I didn't update on time. I am really angry at myself that I'm publishing on Tuesday instead of Sunday/Monday. 
> 
> So, let me know if you liked the chapter! Your comments make me very happy!

After the sleepover, Kyoutani isn’t nervous about spending time in Naoki’s house anymore. Truth be told, he is really looking forward to visiting Naoki’s parents every time Naoki invites him over. He plays video games with Naoki’s father, or plays volleyball with Naoki and his mother. Naoki‘s mother says that he is very talented, but Kyoutani still believes that she just wants to be polite and doesn’t want to tell him that he sucks. However, Kyoutani feels that he’s getting better every day.

Kyoutani likes spending time at Naoki’s very much. It’s not only about the positive energy that can be felt everywhere near Naoki and his family, altough Kyoutani envies them for having a bright personality like that. He likes spending time at Naoki’s because Kyoutani feels like he is part of the perfect and loving family, exactly like those families he sometimes sees in TV shows or movies – everyone is smiling, talking even about the most bizzare things, then laughing about it afterwards, and for a moment, Kyoutani feels like nothing in the world can make his mood miserable again.

Another thing that makes spending time at Naoki’s really enjoyable is that his parents relationship is the exact opposite of Kyoutani’s parents relationship. Naoki’s parents are not afraid to show how much they love each other, kissing and hugging all the time. Kyoutani’s parents haven’t kissed for two weeks already. It’s not like his keeping count, but it’s impossible to miss.

It may sound like he likes it more at Naoki’s than at his own home, but it’s not true. Even though he likes spending time here with Naoki’s family, it can’t replace his own family and home. He loves his family, but the atmosphere between his parents is really heavy these days. He doesn’t like the atmosphere at all.

To avoid being a part of the awkward silence his parents share, he usually asks his father if he wants to play volleyball with him. There is no way his father could say no to Kyoutani’s offer, so it gives him more time to mentally prepare for the dinner and another wave of tense silence. He keeps getting better at overlooking his parents‘ exchange of unkind glances, but he wishes to get to the stage where he can ignore it completly. Kyoutani doesn’t know if his parents noticed that he knows something’s off and are acting like they don’t know so they don’t have to talk about it with their son, or if they are simply not able to notice it because Kyoutani is too good at pretending that everything’s alright. He hopes it’s the first option, because if they didn’t notice, it means that they are so absorbed in their fights that they didn’t even notice Kyoutani’s sudden change in behavior.

Since he has it pretty rough at home, Kyoutani is determined to forget about about all the problems and have a good time when he’s out with his friends. It works perfectly, since Naoki and Reiko always find something to do, and so Kyoutani doesn’t have any time to think about the current situation at home.

Kyoutani has such a good time that he doesn’t forget only about what’s happening between his parents, but he also forgets that Reiko doesn’t live here and has to go home to Kyoto. He remembers just one day before she has to leave and thinks that one day isn’t enough to say goodbye properly. They’ve been together for two weeks straight, and Kyoutani is not ready to let her go. Kyoutani took her for granted, and now, when she has to leave, he simply can’t imagine how his life will change without her. Yes, Naoki will still be there with him, but it won’t be the same.

He probably wouldn’t remember that Reiko must leave if she didn’t mention it when they are walking home together. She seems so casual when she talks about her last day here, but Kyoutani knows that she is sad about having to go home. Reiko is the type of girl who will gladly carry the burden alone if it means protecting the ones she likes the most, and Kyoutani hates it so, so much. It’s actually the only thing he doesn’t like about her. He doesn’t want Reiko to carry the sadness alone. As bad as it sounds, he wants all three of them to be sad together so Reiko doesn’t have to be sad alone and pretend that she is okay with leaving, because they all knew from the start that she has to return to Kyoto someday.

Reiko says that she wants to celebrate the two weeks anniversary of their newly found friendship, and her last day with them at the same time, so she asks if they can stay out longer and watch fireworks together. They can’t go to festival, because it’s in the centre of the town, and they can’t go alone. Kyoutani’s parents don’t want to go, since they don’t like festivals. Naoki’s parents already promised to their friends that they will go with them, and it would be plain rude to turn them down at the last moment. Kyoutani fully understands that, but Naoki, being the kind of person he is, was sulking all day until he realized that his sulking won’t change anything.

Kyoutani agrees right after Reiko asks her question, knowing that his parents wouldn’t say no if he says that it’s Reiko’s last day here. At least he hopes that they’ll let him stay out until 8 p.m.. He knows that he’s only eleven year old, but staying out a little bit longer for one day can’t hurt. His mother is the type to worry too much, but his father doesn’t really mind if Kouytani keeps calling him or sending him texts, saying that everything’s all right, and everybody is still safe and alive.

They part with a goodbye and a promise that they’ll meet tomorrow. Reiko wants to spend the whole day playing in the park with Kyoutani and Naoki, and neither of them have a problem with that. They have to make the last day the best of them all.

-

As they promised the day before, they meet at 11 a.m. at the usual place – the crossroads where they always part when walking home together in the evening. Kyoutani’s mother made him a big bento with lots of rice and meat, but – sadly – also with vegetables and tofu, since his mother knows that Reiko loves tofu. He mentioned it once, but he didn’t think his mother would remember. He hates tofu and vegetables form the bottom of his heart, so he would be happier if his mother did forget. On the other side, Reiko will be happy about having tofu with vegetables for lunch, and Kyoutani is sure that Reiko has something for him in her bento, too.

Kyoutani plays volleyball with Naoki when they get to the park, although Reiko doesn’t play with them, as usual. She says that even though she doesn’t want to play with them, she likes watching them play. Kyoutani doesn’t understand it because, well, how can watching someone else play being considered as fun? It must be so boring. Just sitting on a bench or on the grass, looking at two boys playing volleyball. And on the top of that, they aren’t even _playing_ volleyball. They are just tossing the ball between them, again and again. Kyoutani doesn‘t understand, but he doesn’t question her decision either. If that’s what she wants to do, he will go along. Playing volleyball is fun, after all.

After playing volleyball for two hours, they have their lunch together. They sit beneath a big tree that is in the center of the park, talking and laughing while eating. They end up lying on the soft grass, unable to move for another forty minutes, regretting that they ate so much. On the bright side, they won’t be hungry so soon.

While lying beside each other, they observe the white clouds in the sky. They point at them and say what the clouds look like, laugh when one of them suggests something funny and the other two don’t see anything at first, but after staring at the cloud for a few moments, the cloud really reminds them of the thing one of them said. They kill another hour like that, just lying on the grass and staring at the clouds. Kyoutani‘s first thought is that they are wasting time, but when he thinks about it, he can’t really move after the lunch, so this is the only choice they have. And truth be told, it‘s pretty relaxing.

After said fourty minutes, they get up and are ready to go the lake to cool down a little when Reiko sees one of her friends playing basketball nearby. She loves basketball, so she asks if they can play for a while before going to the lake. Kyoutani isn’t a big fan of basketball, but since he wants to make his friend happy, he agrees to play with her.

They play 3-on-3 with Reiko’s friends for one and a half hour. Kyoutani has to admit, Reiko’s friend are extremely good at basketball. Naoki, Reiko and Kyoutani are all in one team, but they lose to three girls by 26 points. Kyoutani now understand why they wanted to be together and didn’t want Naoki or Kyoutani in their team – they were synced perfectly. Kyoutani found out that the girls are neighbors, and that they’ve been playing together for as long as they can remember, since they have an outdoor basketball court just two minutes away from them.

To Kyoutani’s surprise, they don’t seem intimidated by Kyoutani. They were holding back around Kyoutani at the beginning, but after ten minutes of playing, they started joking around and talking to Kyoutani without hesitation. It made him happy that kids aren’t afraid of him, or aren’t running away from him when he smiles. He wonders if he can make himself more friends now, but then again, who needs more friends when you can have two – soon just one – true friends? He certainly doesn’t.

Reiko stays true to her words and after they play basketball, she politely excuses herself, Kyoutani and Naoki, saying that they have something planned for today, so they can’t stay longer. The girls say their goodbyes, hugging Reiko tightly and whispering that they have to meet again sometime. They probably know that this is her last day in Miyagi, too.

Reiko has a lot of friends, Kyoutani finds out when they walk to the lake. Almost every kid in there age stops and hugs her, wishing her good luck and a safe trip back home. He can’t even imagine having so many friends. How is Reiko able to keep in touch with every one of them? When Kyoutani thinks about it a little bit more, he remembers meeting some of the kids. They clearly remember his as well, since they greet him, too. Kyoutani can’t say that he isn’t surprised that someone greeted him.

When they finally get to the lake, it is already 4 p.m.. Kyoutani really wants to share Reiko’s enthusiasm, but the only thing he can think about right now is that they only have four more hours. Naoki must have noticed Kyoutani’s change in mood, because he stops by him when Reiko starts running toward the lake. She doesn’t even notice that her friends stopped aren’t with her.

"What’s wrong with you?“ Naoki asks, bumping to Kyoutani with his arm. Kyoutani only gruffs and looks away, focusing on a tree just a few feet away from them. "You don’t have to tell me, you know? I already know why you’re making this stupid expression.“

"You’re overusing word _stupid_ ,“ Kyoutani deadpans and rolls his eyes. Naoki’s vacabulary is really sorted to _stupid_ and _volleyball_. Some people would be tired of their friend only using word stupid to insult or describe something or someone, but Kyoutani is rather amused by Naoki’s vocabulary.

There are times he really wants to punch Naoki for saying stupid so much, though. It only happend two times, but he didn’t find the strength to actually punch him. Kyoutani just put his hand on Naoki’s mouth to make him shut up for a few seconds.

"Yeah, you mentioned it already. Lucky for you, I like _dummy,_ too. Do you want to be called dummy, Kentarou-chan?“ Naoki moves closer to him and clings to his arm like he often does.

"Heck no!“

"Then you have to deal with me overusing word _stupid_ ,“ he grins at Kyoutani, his white teeth shining brightly, and Kyoutani thinks he might have gone blind. "No, really. I know what you’re thinking about, and I am telling you not to.“

When Kyoutani looks at Naoki, he can see that Naoki is serious and is not joking around anymore. He looks really concerned about Kyoutani, looking him straight in the eyes and right into his soul, trying to get the negative thought out of Kyoutani’s mind.

"Come on, cheer up. We still have four hours to go, you can be sad later,“ Naoki slaps his back, and Kyoutani is surprised about how much force Naoki used. Kyoutani is really starting to believe that Naoki wants to beat the sadness out of him in any possible way.  

Before Kyoutani can yell at his friend for slapping his back, Naoki takes him by the hand and starts running toward Reiko, who is already in the lake. She is walking barefoot in the shallow water, her sandals lying on the grass a few meters away from the lake so they wouldn’t get wet. She looks so happy that Kyoutani feels better while looking at her, so full of energy and happiness.

Naoki lets go of his hand when they are at the lake, taking off his shoes and throwing them next to Reiko’s. He joins Reiko in the lake, splashing the water all around as he runs toward her and earning Reiko’s angry yell for wetting her clothes. She was careful not to get water on her green shirt and shorts, and she was doing a pretty good job at it before Naoki decided to rush after her without thinking. Kyoutani chuckles as Reiko playfully hits Naoki and forces him to apologize. Naoki yelps and rubs his shoulder right where Reiko hit him, apologizing to Reiko and sounding incredibly offended while saying sorry, as if Reiko hitting him just for splashing a couple of water drops on her clothes wasn’t a reason for her to hit him. Reiko looks very satisfied after hearing Naoki’s apology, and her annoyed frown is replaced by a kind smile.

"You are always so careless,“ she sighs, and Kyoutani silently agrees with her. Naoki wants to do many things at the same time, and it usually ends up with Naoki messing up everything he possibly could. Reiko, on the other hand, is always careful while doing something so nothing bad would happen, so naturally, Reiko always keeps an eye on Naoki and always scolds him when he’s being too careless. She’d made a good mother.

"Yeah, yeah,“ he rolls his eyes and turns back to Kyoutani, who is still standing at the same spot. "Come on, Kyoutani-chan. I need someone to protect me from this evil person!“

Kyoutani lets out a quiet laugh as Naoki gets hit for the second time.

"Coming,“ he says and takes off his shoes. Instead of throwing them like Naoki did, he takes a few steps to the spot where Naoki’s shoes and Reiko’s sandals are, placing his shoes beside theirs. He can hear Reiko saying that Naoki should be more like Kyoutani and act more sophisticated.

Kyoutani cringes when he takes the first step into the water, because even though it’s unbelievably hot outside, and the sun is _literally_ burning, the water isn’t as warm as Kyoutani expected it to be. It’s not that bad either, but it takes some time to get used to it.

He joins his friends in the lake, being careful not to splash as much water as Naoki. Reiko notices that Kyoutani is being thoughtful and thanks him for it, shooting a glance at Naoki that clearly says ‘ _you see?_ ‘. Noaki rolls his eyes again, mumbling something that Kyoutani is not able to make out even when he tries.

They spend ten minutes just walking around in the water, cooling down, and occasionally splashing water at each other – of course, they avoid splashing water at Reiko so they won’t get hit again. Then Naoki comes up with an idea to play a game, since walking around like that is boring. The game involves searching for the whitest rock in the lake, and since Reiko loves playing games like this one, she agrees to play immediatelly. Kyoutani doesn’t have any problem with playing along with them, but he doesn’t like games where there is not a prize for the winner, so he asks what will the winner get. Naoki says that the winner will get his ice cream for free, because the losers will pay for him. This is enough to persuade Kyoutani to play this game, and he starts searching for white rocks.

Another twenty minutes pass as they search for rocks, every one of them making their own pile of white rocks that they found. They compare the rocks and start arguing almost immediately, since Naoki says that his rock wins because Kyoutani’s and Reiko’s rocks are not as white as his, which leads to another disagreement. In the end, they agree not to choose the winner, since each one of them is rooting for their own rock, and the winner can’t be decided like that.

Although they didn’t choose a winner, they go for ice cream anyway. It’s a tradition to have at least one ice cream every day, after all. Kyoutani buys chocolate, Reiko buys strawberry, and Naoki buys oreo. Kyoutani would choose oreo too, but he didn’t notice at first that there is a flavor like that. The ice cream shop where they buy ice cream has twelve flavors, so it’s pretty hard to choose sometimes, but it has one extra flavor that changes every day. The flavor is most of the time pretty unusual, so at least one of them always buys the ice cream with the extra flavor, since it can be the last opportunity to try a flavor like that. Today the extra flavor is oreo, but the other days it was for example snickers, coffee, pina colada (without alcohol, of course), nutella, and many others. One time, there was also a pizza flavor. It didn’t taste bad, just really, really strange. Kyoutani decided not to have a pizza flavor ever again, but to his and Reiko’s surprise, Naoki like the pizza flavor very much, so he gladly offered him the whole ice cream in exchange for his pineapple flavored one.

While eating their ice cream, they watch funny videos with animals that Kyoutani downloaded before going to sleep yesterday. He has downloaded four videos and every one of them has about twenty minutes, but Kyoutani totally forgets about it. They watch one after another, and realize how much time they spent just by watching videos on Kyoutani’s mobile when they look at the time in the right corner of the screen.

They only have one and a half hour.

Reiko didn’t seem affected by it, trying to keep up the good mood by saying that they should buy another ice cream with them so they can eat it while getting back to the park again. The boys agree with her, and they buy another round of ice cream, but this time everyone gets the oreo flavor. It’s incredibly delicious.

The walk take them about twenty minutes, since their pace is slow and relaxed. They have forty-five minutes until the fireworks start, so there is no need to be in hurry. They have to go through the park to get to the spot in the end of the park if they want to have a good view, and even though it’s not so far away, Kyoutani wants to stop walking after ten minutes. He loves running – not the long distance running, but sprints. And since he loathes long distance running from the bottom of his heart, long distance walking is even worse. However, Kyoutani is determined to walk a thousand miles if it means making Reiko happy.

After the long and tiring walk, they finally get to the open area at the end of park, where it’s only soft grass without any trees. They are on a hill, and when he walks over to the short, wooden gate, he can see the whole town under him. Kyoutani remembers that he was here with his mother maybe three years ago, when they got accidentally lost in the park. They just moved here, and his mother went grocery shopping with Kyoutani. They took the wrong turn and ended up here. They stayed here, looking at the unfamiliar town under them and went home after ten minutes of just staring in the distance. His mother forbade Kyoutani to go to this place alone, since she was afraid that Kyoutani would be too careless and fall over the fence if he went too close. He listened to his mother, and didn’t come back for so long that he completely forgot about this place.

They sit down two meters away from the fence, legs stretched in front of them. Kyoutani is sitting between Naoki and Reiko, and he keeps his eyes at the sky painted in many different colors as the sun starting to set.

Kyoutani really likes watching sunsets, it was something truly amazing. He loves the way the last sunrays are lingering at the sky, dyeing the sky orange, then red, and then mauve as the red orb slowly sinks beneath the horizon and is replaced by the moon. It’s finally not so hot, and Kyoutani can finally breath with ease without wanting to cuss about the extremely hot weather. The sky is darker every second and soon turns into shady blue, the white moon casting silver rays of moonlight onto the dark sky. The sky is clear today. There are no clouds to be seen that could make the fireworks less visible. It’s a beautiful night.

"Wow, even the starts are more visible tonight,“ Naoki beams excitedly, his eyes shining as he’s looking at the sky with pure astonishment. Kyoutani just nods in agreement, not looking at Naoki because his eyes are still fixated on the sky, unable to look away.

"But it’s getting pretty chilly,“ Reiko sighs, exasperated. Unlike Kyoutani, Reiko loves the hot summer weather, and she would rather sweat all day than to feel even a little breeze on her skin. Kyoutani doesn’t understand it, to be honest. He would most likely die if it was so hot even in the evenings.

"The fireworks start in ten minutes, right?“ Naoki asks after looking at Kyoutani’s phone screen, seeing that it’s already 7.25 p.m.. Kyoutani would swear that he feels like a hand is clenching his heart when Naoki says what’s the time.

They have less than an hour. _Less than an hour._

"I want it to start already!“ Reiko whines and lies down on the ground, spreading her hands. "I can’t wait ten more minutes.“

"Be patient, Reiko-chan,“ Naoki says, turning his head to her, smiling brightly. Kyoutani doesn’t realize that Naoki was mimicking Reiko until Reiko hits him for what has to be at least 15th time today. Kyoutani huffs out a quiet laugh when the two of them start arguing again about how Reiko should stop hitting Naoki for everything. He thinks that many people would find listening to all this pointless bickering truly annoying or/and tiring, but Kyoutani thinks the exact opposite. In his opinion, if he isn’t involved in the argument, it’s quite funny to listen to their exchange of words, since they always jump from the original cause of the argument to something that occurred two years ago.

"If you weren’t so careless all the time, I would have to–“

"Hey, close your mouth already, it’s starting!“ Naoki shushes her, pointing at the sky where the first beams of blue and green lights ignite the otherwise black sky. Reiko does as Naoki said, not saying a word. She just looks up at the sky that is currently flashing with vivid colors, letting out a quiet _oooh_.

Reiko isn’t the only one who is silent. Naoki and Reiko don’t say a single word while keeping their eyes on the fireworks as the pierce through the dark night. Every one of the fireworks is unique and breathtaking, drawing a different pattern on the sky. Hot sparks of mixed colors that will never ever be the same no matter how many fireworks are going to be ignited are soaring until they are extinguished to blackness.

Kyoutani can’t take his eyes off of the sky flashing with fiery blooms amongst the starts, being totally in awe. He feels like dreaming, but is suddenly thrown back to reality as Reiko tangles their fingers together.

Kyoutani’s eyes go wide when he feels her hand on his, because this is so different from the first time she took Kyoutani’s hand in hers. This time it feels like it is more than a friendly gesture. It feels more serious, like Reiko is trying to tell something to Kyoutani without using words.

Kyoutani’s breath stops when she squeezes his hand more tightly after a few seconds of holding it, and Kyoutani is too afraid to look at her. So he just lets her hold his hand in hers, trying to focus on the fireworks. That’s why they came, after all.

The weirdest thing about this situation isn’t the fact that Reiko is holding his hand. The weirdest thing is that Kyoutani doesn’t feel anything while feeling her hand in his. The first thing he felt as their hands touched was shock and surprise, and honestly, these shock and surprise are the only emotions he’s feeling. Someone would expect something more, like warmth and affection, but not Kyoutani. It feels good, yes, but nothing special.

Kyoutani doesn’t push her hand away, but he doesn’t squeeze back either.

"It’s beautiful,“ Naoki whispers and lets his head fall on Kyoutani’s shoulder, sighing at the beautiful sight.

Kyoutani gulps and closes his eyes for a moment, his breath shaking as he exhales. He can also feel his heart beating faster and faster, until it’s literally hammering against his chest. He hopes Naoki doesn’t hear his unsteady heart beat, because it’s really loud in Kyoutani’s ears, and he isn’t sure if he is the only one who can hear it pounding, or if Naoki is able to hear it too – lucky for him, Naoki doesn’t seem to hear anything but the explosions of the fireworks.

"Y-Yeah,“ Kyoutani mentally slaps himself for not being able to speak up without stuttering. Naoki still doesn’t notice that there is something wrong going on with Kyoutani, though. Kyoutani praises himself for at least being able to keep up the straight face despite blushing bright red.

It’s now, when Naoki is leaning his head on Kyoutani‘s shoulder, that he realizes he feels something strong and unique while being so close to his friend. A feeling that is completely different from being close to Reiko, because it feel more special in every way.

It’s now that Kyoutani realizes there is something wrong with him if he feels more affected by Naoki leaning his head on Kyoutani’s shoulder than Reiko holding his hand.

 _It’s nothing_ , Kyoutani thinks. _It has to be nothing_.

-

Naoki and Kyoutani don’t stop hanging out together even when Reiko is long gone.

Going out without Reiko is very strange at first. It is hard to cope with her not being here, but they manage somehow. They play volleyball most of the time, since they have to get better at it. The sooner the better. They are able to forget about Reiko’s absence when they play volleyball, but when they are just lying on the grass after practising volleyball for hours, they can’t stop thinking about her.

Reiko is gone, and Kyoutani can get used to her not being there no matter how much he tries. Reiko’s absence isn’t the only thing that’s troubling him these days, though.

Kyoutani is afraid that his parent’s arguing has reached the top. They don’t even try to pretend that they are alright in front of Kyoutani. They don’t talk to each other if it’s not really necessary, arguing most of the time at nights. The arguing makes it hard to fall asleep, that’s why he had to get used to falling asleep with his headphones on.

Kyoutani thinks it can’t get worse when his parents stop talking to each other, but clearly, he is wrong. His parents don’t even eat together anymore, whether it’s breakfast,lunch, or dinner. Kyoutani sometimes ends up eating alone, because his parents decide to eat their meals in different parts of their house. Kyoutani finds out that eating alone is one of the worst things in the world.

 And still, the situation in his home just keeps getting worse and worse. For example, his mother locks herself in her – his parent’s former – bedroom for days, not leaving unless she has to eat or go shopping. She talks less to Kyoutani every day, usually only saying _‘good morning_ ‘ or ‘ _good night_ ‘ as she walks by. Kyoutani is beginning to be really concerned about her, but not only because of the sudden change in her behavior. Her appearance is changing with her attitude, too.

She has dark circles under her eyes, and she never had these before. Her eyes are red and puffy which can only means that she’s been crying a lot. Kyoutani can’t imagine his mother crying. She always seemed like a strong woman and crying just wouldn’t suit her, no matter how bad that sounds.

Her hair changed a lot, too. Kyoutani would swear to God that her hair was longer and mainly thicker before. He has always loved his mother’s hair, since they were so soft and thick, but now they seemed thin and damaged.

Her skin is also paler than before and looks pretty dry. Kyoutani think it’s strange that his mother’s skin looks so bad, since she used to take care of her skin every night and every morning, too. She has tons of anti-ageing creams, so why did her skin change so much? Did she stop taking care about her appearance?

Kyoutani tries to talk to his father about it, maybe he knows something about it. When he asks about his mother though, his father doesn’t say anything. In fact, he tells Kyoutani not to bring his mother up. Kyoutani tries not to look sad after his father refuses to talk about his mother, but his father notices anyway. He tells him not to worry, that everything will be alright. Kyoutani clearly doesn’t believe him, and his father obviously knows it too, but what else is there to say? That nothing is going to be okay ever again? Lying is the only solution in this situation, at least that’s what his father thinks.

Kyoutani doesn’t know if he should tell Naoki about this issue. They are what others call best friends, but this is too personal, and Kyoutani isn’t sure if Naoki would be interested in knowing something like this. He probably would be, since he likes to know everything so he can help, but there is no way Naoki can help. Kyoutani would just burden him with this, and he doesn’t want him to be as sad as Kyoutani is now.

He decides not to tell him, not yet at least. Naoki can see that these is something wrong with Kyoutani, but he doesn’t ask. He just tells Kyoutani that he is there for him, and he is going to be there for Kyoutani anytime he would like to talk about what’s troubling him. Kyoutani only nods and lets Naoki hug him, burying his face in Naoki’s chest.

Kyoutani is able to forget about his parents‘ issue while he is out with Naoki, and he wishes to stay with him forever. He knows that it’s impossible though, so Kyoutani just enjoys Naoki‘s company for as long as possible.

-

His parents‘ situation doesn’t get better, but Kyoutani is better at dealing with it when school starts again, since he isn’t at home so much. The thing is, Naoki goes to different elementary school, and that means they can’t spend as much time together as during the break.

Kyoutani is bored at school without Naoki by his side, and he is scolded by his teachers most of the time for scowling so much and scaring other kids. He doesn’t understand why is he being scolded for something like this. It’s not his fault that the kids at his school are scared so easily.

He tells Naoki about it after school, and Naoki only laugh at him, saying that he wouldn’t be scared if Kyoutani was scowling or frowning at him as he does at other kids. He says that he would probably laugh at how can someone frown so much and try to make Kyoutani laugh too, so he wouldn’t have frown lines at this age.

They meet almost every day after school, talking about their day on the way home. It’s mostly Naoki who talks the whole time, since Kyoutani doesn’t have much to say. He is alone most of the time, so he only tells Naoki about the new video game he plays while other kids are playing together. Naoki talks about a lot of things – the food at his school, the kids, his friends, his teachers, the new games they played at school... He always finds something to talk about, and Kyoutani sometimes wonders if Naoki isn’t even a little bored in Kyoutani’s company, because Kyoutani doesn’t talk much and isn’t very funny either. He would ask, but the last time he tried to ask this question, Naoki got really angry, saying that Kyoutani is the most perfect company he could choose and that Kyoutani shouldn’t doubt himself so much, because it pisses him off.

Kyoutani didn’t ask again.

-

Kyoutani almost forgets about his own birthday this year. He doesn’t really celebrate it, but his parents always congratulate him in the morning before he goes to school. His mother even lets him to eat a cake for breakfast, and she hates when Kyoutani eats something so sweet for breakfast.

This year, it’s not the same as the years before. His mother doesn’t leave her bedroom to congratulate her son, and there is no cake in the morning. Although there is no cake, his father makes the delicious french toast rolls with chocolate and strawberries for breakfast, and it sure is better than a cake from a shop. His father congratulates him at the doorstep, wishing him a good day and giving him some money, saying that he can buy something sweet on the way home from school. Kyoutani doesn’t want to take the money at first, but his father insists on taking them, so Kyoutani doesn’t have a choice but to accept the money and say thank you as he stuffs them in his pocket. He already knows how he’ll spend the money – he’ll buy himself and Naoki tons of sweets, since both of them have a sweet tooth.

At school, he doesn’t mention that it’s his birthday today. He doesn’t want fake smiles from the kids just because the teacher tells them to congratulate him, so he doesn’t say anything about his birthday. He just wants to meet Naoki and go to the store with him to buy as many sweets as he can afford.

It’s obvious that Kyoutani feels like the time stopped, since he wants to get out of the school so much. Time flies really fast when he’s having fun, but it seems to stop when he really needs it to move quicker.

After what seems like forever, Kyoutani is finally free, and he is so happy that he doesn’t even notice that he started running in order to get to the place where he meets Naoki every day quicker. Naoki is already waiting for him, playing with his volleyball. Boy, he really likes volleyball if he brings the ball everywhere he goes. Kyoutani doesn’t mind, though. He loves volleyball too.

"Kentarou-chan, hi!“ he greets him as Kyoutnai is just a few steps away from him. "I have a big surprise for you!“

„Really?“ Kyoutani asks, interested in what the surprise might be. Naoki nods enthusiastically, smiling brightly and showing Kyoutnai his perfect white teeth. Kyoutani felt a twinge of envy as he was looking at Naoki’s flawless teeth – Kyoutani will have to wear braces, and he really doesn’t want to.

"Yes, wait a little,“ Naoki says as he starts searching for something in his backpack. Kyoutani patiently waits as he was told, using the time to text his father that he’ll be out for a while, like always. When he puts the mobile back in his pocket, Naoki is already holding a boy wrapped in a red paper in front of him. "Here, that’s for you.“

Kyoutani stares at the box for a while, but in the end he takes it from Naoki’s hands, observing it.

"Come on, unwrap it!“ Naoki encourages him, probably with intention of seeing Kyoutani’s reaction when he sees what’s inside the box.

Kyoutani starts unrwapping the box slowly, being careful with it, since he doesn’t know what’s in the box. He doesn’t want to ruin whatever is inside.

He is fairly surprised to see the video game he was talking about maybe one week ago in his hands. He looks up, not understanding what it means.

"It’s for your birthday, stupid!“

Kyoutani wants to say something about Naoki calling him stupid once again, but then he thinks more about what Naoki just said. _Oh_ , Kouytani thinks. _It’s probably a gift._ He feels stupid for forgetting that he can receive a gift on his birthday from a friend. Maybe it’s because he didn’t have friends before, and Naoki is the first friend who gives him a gift for his birthday.

"I know you wanted the game, so I bought it. Do you like it?“ Naoki asks with a smile, stepping closer to Kyoutani. Kyoutani just nods, still in awe. He holds the game in his hand like it’s the end of the world. „Happy birthday, Kentarou-chan.“

"Thank you,“ Kyoutani breathes out, and he can feel the corners of his lips twitching up. He can’t even say how grateful he is. "I didn’t know you knew about my birthday.“

"Of course I knew! Reiko asked for your birthday when she was here for summer break, don’t you remember?“ Naoki shakes his head disapprovingly, his hands on his sides as he speaks.

"I remember. I just didn’t think you’d remember, too.“

"And that’s why I call you stupid all the time,“ Naoki flicks him in the forehead. "I wrote it down when I got home. And now, enough of the talk – we have to celebrate!“

It is the first time someone else than family wants to celebrate his birthday with him, and he feels like he could die from happiness right now.   

-

It is Christmas time again. Kyoutani is not surprised in the slightest that Naoki is the type of person who is over-excited about Christmas. It was kind of easy to guess he likes holidays like this, judging by the way he gets excited about almost everything and is such a drama queen.

Kyoutani, on the other side, doesn’t like Christmas. In fact, he dislikes it a lot. Everyone is suddenly so nice, and it pisses Kyoutani off so, so much. If you like someone, you’ll be nice to them all year long, not only at Christmas, right? It’s so stupid that people pretend that they like each other only for a few days, and then they return to not talking to each for the remaining 364 days of the year.

The good part about Christmas is that there is a lot of food. His mother loves to cook, so they have tons of food every year, and Kyoutani has always at least this one thing to look forward to. However, this year his mother doesn’t seem like she’ll cook anything at all, so Kyoutani can only pray that his father is going to cook something instead of his mother.

Another good thing about Christmas is that Kyoutani will get presents. Yes, he knows that Christmas is about giving, not about receiving, but there is nothing wrong with looking forward to receiving gifts, is there? He doesn’t like asking for money from his parents, since he knows that their financial situation isn’t the best, and Christmas is the best opportunity to get the new game he wants so much. It’s an expansion pack for the game he got from Naoki for his birthday a few weeks ago, and Kyoutani has been subtly hinting that he would want the game for three days now. He only hopes that his father took the hint.

The one thing Kyoutani really hates about Christmas is the music. He hears one damned song every ten minutes, and it’s making him go nuts. Are there no other Christmas songs? Why is this one playing all day long, and then continues to play the next day? Kyoutani assumes that he would be alright with Christmas if it weren‘t for these stupid songs, ruining his mood everywhere he goes.

Kyoutani hates Christmas songs, but Naoki loves them way too much. He says that it wouldn’t be Christmas without these songs, and that’s why they should appreciate them and play them nonstop until Christmas over. Kyoutani just rolls his eyes and lets Naoki play his stupid songs, listening to Naoki’s quiet singing. He loves it when Naoki sings. It’s one of the best sounds in the world.

Kyoutani can only guess that this year’s Christmas is going to be a lot different from the last, judging by his parents behavior.

They don’t argue anymore, but that’s because they don’t talk to each other, like… at all. They don’t do as much as glare at each other when they accidentally appear in the same room. Kyoutani doesn’t believe that he’s saying it, but he would rather see his parents argue like before than not see them talk at all.

Naoki once told him that people argue because they care about each other, and since they care about each other, they don’t want to have any problems in their relationship, so they try to talk about the problems they have. It mostly ends up with a lot of screaming, but that’s only because people are feeling desperate to let it all out as quickly as possible and they somehow start screaming in the process. If people stop caring about each other, they don’t feel the need to solve the problems that have in their relationship, and that leads to not talking to each other. Kyoutani fears that his parents stopped caring about each other a long time ago if Naoki is telling the truth.

Naoki is always right, but this time Kyoutani wants him to be wrong.

Naoki insists that they meet on Christmas day after they exchanging gits at home, and Kyoutani still can’t say no to him even though they know each other for almost half a year now, so he agrees to meet him around lunch.

The problems is, Kyoutani doesn’t know what he should buy Naoki for Christmas. Naoki said that everything is fine, even a cheap chocolate from the store down the street, but Kyoutani can’t just buy him chocolate for Christmas. He needs to give him something nice, something that will remind him of Kyoutani when he looks at it, but is there something like this?

Kyoutani spends five days deciding what he should give to Naoki, but can’t think of anything. He never had to think of what to give to a friend for Christmas, since he didn’t have friends, but damn, it’s hard to buy gifts. After five days of crying over why he can’t think of any good gift, his father helps him decide.

In the end, Kyoutani buys him a mobile keychain with a volleyball. He doesn’t feel good about the gift, since it’s pretty small and nothing special, but it was the best gift Kyoutani and his father came up with. He just hopes that Naoki will like it – really like it, not pretend that he likes it in order not to seem ungrateful.

As Kyoutani thought, Christmas is different this year. His mother disappeared somewhere in the middle of the night and doesn’t come back for gift giving in the morning. Kyoutani is really worried about her, but is incredibly sad that his mother changed so much, and that she isn’t even home on Christmas day. She didn’t even congratulate him on his birthday, when he thinks about it. She remembered that her son had birthday three days later, saying happy birthday to him and then returning to her room without another word. Kyoutani cried that evening, because this woman was nothing like his mother.

His father actually took the hint and got him the new game for his birthday, promising to him that they will play together in the evening if Kyoutani wants to. Kyoutani nods excitedly, saying that he will beat his father today.

Kyoutani can see that his father isn’t okay with all the things that happened in the last months, but he tries to be a good father to Kyoutani, not letting his sadness ruin the relationship he has with his son – complete opposite of what Kyoutani’s mother did. Kyoutani gives his father a gift too, whispering that he didn’t have much money for something bigger. His father accepts the gift with a warm smile on his lips, saying it’s okay because he didn’t even think that Kyoutani will get him something.

They chat for a while, his father trying to reassure Kyoutani that Naoki will like the gift, and that his son has nothing to be nervous about. They have a quick breakfast before Kyoutani storms out of the house, running all the way to the crossroads where Naoki is probably already waiting for him, since Kyoutani is ten minutes late. He feels bad for making Naoki wait in this horrible, cold weather.

Naoki doesn’t seem to mind waiting for Kyoutani. When Kyoutani finally approaches his friend, Naoki doesn’t even notice him as he plays in the snows.

"Oh, you made it!“ Naoki is on his legs in a second, walking toward Kyoutani. "What did you get?“

"The game I told you about… You?“ Kyoutani asks politely.

"I got volleyball shoes and kneepads, since we’re going to play volleyball at middle school,“ he smiles, and Kyoutani notes that he said _we_ instead of _I_. So Naoki is already hundred percent sure that Kyoutani will play volleyball with him. Naoki _wants_ to play volleyball with Kyoutani.

Even though it’s so cold outside, Kyoutani feels warm after hearing those words.

"And this is for you,“ Naoki hands him a big box, and Kyoutani already feels embarrassed. This box is so big. Naoki bought him something so big – and the gift was probably pretty expensive too – and he got him a keychain. He feels so stupid.

Kyoutani quickly tears the blue paper with snowflakes on it, opening the box. When he takes a what-seems-like new volleyball in his hands, he forgets how to breath for a while. Naoki bought him a volleyball. _A volleyball_. It must have cost so, so much.

"Please tell me you don’t have a volleyball at home, I’m going to feel really stupid if you do,“ Naoki whines and looks impatient, wanting Kyoutani to confirm that no, he doesn’t have a volleyball at home. So he does just that, saying that this is his first volleyball ever.

"Thank God!“ he exhales loudly, running a hand through his hair. Kyoutani notes that he doesn’t have a hat. Naoki‘s mother will probably yell at him for forgetting to take a hat, Kyoutani can easily picture it in his head. "I thought that if we want to play volleyball together, we should practise more. You know, so we can be starters.“

"Y-Yeah,“ Kyoutani stutters and can’t take his eyes of the ball, still in a disbelief that Naoki really bought him something so expensive. Yeah, he has a lot of money – or rather his parents have a lot of money – but still, this is too much.

Kyoutani can’t say that he doesn’t like the gift, though.

"Thank you,“ Kyoutani says, more calmly this time. He takes Naoki’s gift out of his pocket, handing it to him wrapped in a plain red paper. "This is for you. Merry Christmas.“

Naoki unwraps it in a blink of an eye. Kyoutani feels like he is standing on the edge of a cliff while waiting for Naoki’s reaction. He looks down at his shoes, not able to look at Naoki directly – he feels so embarrassed.

"I love it,“ Kyoutani hears a quiet whisper and lets out a relieved sigh. "It’s perfect.“

"Really?“ he asks, turning his eyes to Naoki again.

He is shocked to see Naoki blushing. Hard.

"Yes… I didn’t think you would buy me a gift.“

 _Why is everybody saying that?_ Kyoutani wants to ask angrily, but he is more occupied by trying not to blush when he’s looking at Naoki’s red cheeks. It’s the first time he sees Naoki blushing, and Kyoutani isn’t sure if he will ever forget this moment.

"Of course I would, we’re best friends,“ Kyoutani can believe he really said that. Naoki doesn’t say anything in return for another minute, and that is enough to make Kyoutani think that he said something wrong. He wants to quickly apologize for saying such a nonsense when Naoki throws himself at him, hugging Kyoutani.

"I can’t believe you said it,“ he exclaims and laugh, tightening his grip around Kyoutani’s neck. "I was afraid that I’m the only one who thinks we’re best friends.“

Kyoutani hesitantly hugs Naoki back.

"Stupid,“ this time it’s Kyoutani who uses the word.

-

Everything after Christmas and New Year’s Eve is just a blur. Kyoutani doesn’t even remember the rest of the school year. Every day at school without Naoki is boring anyway, so there isn’t anything worth remembering.

He remembers that he was over excited about finishing elementary school, and Kyoutani finishing school meant that there is another break. He loves the spring break the most because it’s not too hot, but not cold either. It’s just perfect.

And there is another good thing about the spring break – Reiko is visiting again. This time it’s only for three days, since her parents are going on vacation for the rest of the spring break, but Kyoutani is happy that he will have a chance to see Reiko again after such a long time, even if it’s just for three days.

To celebrate the end of the school year, Kyoutani’s father buys ice cream for his son and for Naoki too. It’s starting again – the ice cream season. Many would says that ice cream season is summer, but for Kyoutani and Naoki, ice cream seasons are both, summer and spring, since their favorite ice cream shop is opening again.

They spend the whole day together – as always – and go home around 6 p.m.. They would be out much longer if they could, but Naoki’s parents and Kyoutani’s father don’t like when their kids are out when it’s already dark. They promise to meet again tomorrow, already making tons of plans. Most of them include volleyball, to be honest, but neither of them mind.

-

Kyoutani can’t tell how happy he is to see Reiko after almost a year. She didn’t change that much – her hair got just a little bit longer, but that’s all. She looked exactly the same as the last time. She still looked unbelievably beautiful.

What changed is her attitude towards Kyoutani. It isn’t a negative change in behaviour, it’s just strange. Kyoutani is used to her being close to him, since he knows that Reiko is a touchy feely type of girl, but he doesn’t remember Reiko touching him so much.

When other boys see how nice is Reiko to Kyoutani, they start to talk to him more. They want to know how they met, and they ask a lot of questions about their friendship. Kyoutani can’t really blame them for being confused about him having such a good friendship with Reiko, he didn’t understand at first too. They are completely different, but they still manage to be friends.

"Do you liker her? Like… you know… _like_ like her?“ One of the boys asks him suddenly, and Kyoutani doesn’t know what to say.

Of course he likes Reiko, but it didn’t even occur to him that he may like her more than a friend.

"I don’t know,“ he answers, but deep down, Kyoutani knows that he is lying. He likes Reiko as a friend, nothing more. He can’t imagine holding her hand or kissing her. Just… no. He remembers the time Reiko held his hand when they were watching fireworks in summer, but he didn’t feel anything special while holding her hand. He doesn’t have an urge to hold her hand, or touch her, or kiss her. It’s weird, because Reiko is a beautiful girl. Everyone should feel the urge to kiss her full, pink lips and hold her small, soft hand. Kyoutani knew that there was something wrong with him when he did not feel butterflies in his stomach last summer when Reiko was holding his hand, but he managed to forget about it. He wouldn’t have to think about it if it wasn’t for this blond guy who seems very interested in Reiko and his relationship.

"How can you not know? She is a goddess! Look at her!“

Kyoutani turns his head and does as the boy says. He stares at Reiko for a while as she talks to Naoki and one girl Kyoutani doesn’t know, and Kyoutani doesn’t have any problem with admitting that the boy is right – Reiko is a goddess. She is the prettiest girl he has ever seen.

Kyoutani’s gaze unconsiously turns to Naoki, who is excitedly talking about something Kyoutani can’t hear. Everyone is talking about how pretty Reiko is, but did no one notice how handsome is Naoki? He may not have the most perfect hair like Reiko, but everything else about him is as pretty – altough he shouldn’t call a boy pretty.

His eyes are as unique as Reiko’s. His face is as beautiful as Reiko, with a nice skin tone too. His face is literally curved with a perfect knife. His smile is cute. His teeth are white as snow. His eyelashes are long and think… Naoki has everything that Reiko does.  

Truth be told, Kyoutani thinks Naoki is even more beautiful than Reiko.

"Hahah, look at him!“ the blond boy points finger at Kyoutani with a laugh. "He is totally crushing on her, I can see it in his eyes.“

Other boys just nods in agreement and starts teasing him about it, and Kyoutani lets them. He doesn’t care about whate they think, and he doesn’t have the energy to tell them that he is not crushing on Reiko.

Altough the main reason Kyoutani doesn’t tell them to stop teasing him is because he is still in a shock that the blond boy said that he could see _it_ in his eyes. He could tell that Kyoutani was crushing at Reiko just by looking at him, while Kyoutani was secretly staring at Naoki the whole time.

Does it mean that he looks like he is in love when he’s looking at Naoki? Okay, love is a strong word, since they are all around the same age and being in love while he’s only thirteen years old is ridiculous, but did Kyoutani really look like he has a crush? They must be lying. Yes, they are most likely all lying.

Because if they weren’t lying, it would mean that he has a crush on Naoki – if he wanted to stick with the theory that he had his dreamy face on just a few seconds ago, of course.

Yeah, they are lying. Or making fun of him. He can’t possibly have a crush on Naoki, right? Naoki is his friend, a _boy_. Two boys can’t be together. And even if two boys could be together, he is not crushing on Naoki. Absolutely not.

He would think about more reasons why he is not crushing on his best friend, but the best thing he can think of doing right now is forgetting about the whole conversation he just had. They were just making fun of him, nothing more. There is no need to dwell on it.

Kyoutani stays true to his word and tries to forget about this, but when Naoki turns his head and grins at him, Kyoutani’s only thought is that it‘s easier said than done.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THE NEW CHAPTER WILL BE ON AO3 ON THURSDAY (28th APRIL)!!!  
> I know, I'm terrible. I can never make it on time, and I am so sorry. I have a lot of school work, and I don't wanna mess up my grades when the school year is about to end.   
> I have 8k words right now, but I want to publish the next chapter with 9k+ words (like I said at the beginning of this fic), so I have to update a bit later.  
> I am really sorry, once again.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, I don't know how to start. I am so sorry for not updating on time. Again. It's really embarrassing for me to always change the date of the next update, and I am so angry at myself for not being able to make it on time.
> 
> Anyway, there is no angst in this chapter. I know I said that this chapter is going to be super angsty, but since so many of you told me in comments or in message that you really like Naoki x Kyoutani in this fic, I decided to give you one more fluffy Naoki x Kyoutani chapter. spoiler - it's the last chapter that will make you happy if you ship those two. (sorry not sorry)
> 
> I don't really know when I'm going to update again because our volleyball team made it to nationals, so I won't be at home for 5 days. I can't take my notebook with me, and that means I won't write a single word in 5 DAYS. That's why the next update won't be so soon. If you want to stay updated, you can occasionally look into the notes at the end of the chapter, I'll let you know when will be the next update in the following days.
> 
> I found the dates of the tournaments here - http://graychalk.tumblr.com/post/122096819081/japan-mens-high-school-volleyball-calender
> 
> THANK YOU FOR THE AMAZING COMMENTS. I seriously love you guys. You are the best, and you always make me so happy when you write me a comment :)

Kyoutani is standing in front of the school by the gate, waiting for Naoki. They would gave walked to school together, but Naoki called him this morning right when Kyoutani was leaving his house, saying that he overslept, and that they wouldn’t make it to school on time if Kyoutani decided to wait for him. Naoki also said that he is really sorry that they can’t walk to school together on their first day, but Kyoutani reassured him that it’s alright, and that they can still meet in front of the school building. Naoki happily agreed and apologized once more before ending the phone call.

He didn’t really have a problem with walking to school by himself, but he would definitely feel better if Naoki didn’t oversleep and could walk with him, because now, Kyoutani has to wait for him. It’s not like Kyoutani hates waiting so much or something, but he truly doesn’t like being all alone when there are so many people around. He is still gets pretty anxious when people are around him, and Naoki isn’t by his side. Kyoutani always feels more comfortable when Naoki is with him, since he has more social skills than Kyoutani has, and Kyoutani doesn’t have to be afraid that there will be something like an awkward silence between conversations, because Naoki always finds something new to talk about. But it’s not just about that – Kyoutani feels more confident when he is with Naoki. Maybe it’s because Naoki would defend him at all times, and since Kyoutani knows it, he isn’t afraid to have his own opinion about things. He may complain about Naoki being overprotective for no reason, and he would also say that if Naoki doesn’t stop standing up for him, then other kids will think that Kyoutani is a sissy and will make fun of him, but honestly, Kyoutani doesn’t know what would he do without Naoki.

And Kyoutani also doesn’t know what to do while he is waiting for him.

Kyoutani isn’t sure if some of the students that are gathered in small groups by the gate have been staring at him for a few minutes now, or if he’s just being paranoid, but it makes him feel fairly uncofortable nonetheless. Kyoutani also hears some students giggle as they walk past him, and he really wants to believe that they are not laughing at him, but unfortunately, they probably are. He would have laughed too if he were in their shoes, and it’s mostly because of his new hairstyle.

Naoki thought it would be funny if he dyed Kyoutani’s hair blond, and now Kyoutani looks like an idiot. But this is still not the worst of it, of course. The worst thing about this ridiculous hairstyle is that Naoki didn’t dye all of his hair – he though it would look really cool if he dyed his hair blond, but left Kyoutani two stripes of his natural hair color.

If he knew it would end up like this, he would have never allowed Naoki to touch his hair. The thing is, Kyoutani didn’t know that Naoki was planning to dye his hair – he said it’s just a new shampoo his mother bought him, and Kyoutani stupidly believed him. He started to suspect that it was not just a shampoo when Naoki took too long with washing his hair with it, and then made him sit without moving for another twenty minutes, saying that it’s a special shampoo that needs to be on hair for twenty minutes before being washed off.

After said twenty minutes, Kyoutani washed the shampoo off, and when he saw that his hair is blond, he almost fainted. He was shocked at first, and he couldn’t stop staring at his reflection in the mirror. He remembers saying that there must be something wrong with the shampoo Naoki’s mom bought, but then Kyoutani realized that there was nothing wrong with the shampoo – simply because it wasn’t _just_ a shampoo. Naoki dyed his hair on _purpose_.

Kyoutani was surprised at himself for not yelling at Naoki because of what he’s done. He is pretty sure that if someone else than Naoki dyed his hair, he would have thrown them out of a closed window. He doesn’t understand why was Naoki so special that Kyoutani couldn’t even yell at him for doing something so terrible like this, but at that time, he was more concerned about his hair.

He started to panic and tried to wash his hair again in hope that the color will just disappear, but Kyoutani knew it won’t help. While Kyoutani was freaking off in Naoki’s bathroom, Naoki was laughing his ass off. He told Naoki that he shouldn’t laugh at him looking like a total idiot, but it didn’t stop him from laughing so much that he had tears in his eyes.

After another ten minutes of trying to wash the color off, Kyoutani gave up. There was nothing he could do. The only option was to wait until it washes off by itself – which, according to the bottle, will take two or three weeks.

Kyoutani didn’t scream at Naoki, but he didn’t talk to him either. He was angry and wanted to show his anger to Naoki too so that Naoki would understand that what he’s done was wrong and not funny at all. After sitting on Naoki‘s bed for fifteen minutes without saying a word, Naoki finally apologized and sat beside him. Kyoutani didn’t say anything in return. He just looked away, sulking. He also moved away from Naoki as if saying that him apologizing isn’t enough to make Kyoutani forgive him, and Naoki seemed to take the hint.

They sat in silence for a while, Kyoutani still refusing to talk to Naoki, even though his friend apologized to him at least twenty times. Kyoutani wanted to go home and hide in his room, but on the other side, he didn’t even want to leave Naoki’s house because it would mean that he has to go out – and there would be people. Kyoutani didn’t want to be seen like that, and he didn’t care about the people in streets not knowing him. Right now, he didn’t want to be seen by anyone.

When Kyoutani finally stood up, ready to go home, Naoki caught him by the wrist on his way out of Naoki’s bedroom. Kyoutani, surprised, turned back to Naoki. His friend didn’t even look at him – he kept staring at the floor. Naoki apologized once more, saying that he is sincerely sorry, and that he would not blame Kyoutani if he didn’t want to be his friend anymore.

Kyoutani was even more surprised after hearing what Naoki had to say. But no, surprised wasn’t the right word, he was _shocked._ How could Naoki think, even for a second, that Kyouttani would be so angry to refuse to hang out with him anymore? Yes, he was incredibly angry, but he would never throw his friendship with Naoki away just because of stupid hair. Never.

Kyoutani returned to the bed, noting that Naoki was still holding his wrist as he sat down. Kyoutani didn’t want to think about how soft Naoki’s hand was, and the best solution was to simply pull his hand away, but even though Naoki’s touch was light, Kyoutani couldn’t bring himself to let go. It was as if their hands were glued together.

He said that he isn’t angry enough to stop hanging out with Naoki, and Naoki turned his gaze to him quickly, saying that he’s very sorry once again. Kyoutani was starting to hate the sound of Naoki apologizing, for he heard it so many times in such a short period of time. At that time, when he saw Naoki’s watery eyes looking at him, he was the one who wanted to apologize. He didn’t like seeing his best friend cry, and he hated it even more when Kyoutani himself was the reason for Naoki’s sadness, so he tried to reassure Naoki that they are still best friends, and Naoki turning his hair blond without Kyoutani’s permission won’t change it.

Naoki still looked really sad though, so Kyoutani took a deep breath, gathered all the courage he possessed, and wrapped his arms around Naoki in a tight hug. He had closed eyes, maybe because he was too embarrassed, and maybe because he wanted to fully enjoy Naoki’s closeness.

After a few seconds that felt like years, Kyoutani pulled away and turned his head to the side, trying to find something to focus on. He wasn’t able to look at Naoki, afraid to see his expression. After what seemed like a forever to Kyoutani, Naoki finally spoke up. He said that he is sorry, but if it helps, he really likes Kyoutani with his hair dyed blond. Kyoutani blushed furiously, covering his face with his right arm, closing his eyes again. At that moment, Kyoutani thought that he is going to explode from embarrassement. Naoki always managed to make him feel embarrassed, even if he didn’t say anything really worth such an enmorous blush. Naoki teased him about it most of time, saying that Kyoutani looks all though, but in reality, he is such a giant dork.

And after two weeks of waiting for the color to wash off, it is finally slowly disappearing. He is indescribably glad that the blond color will be off of his hair in maybe a week, but when he remembers Naoki saying that he likes Kyoutani’s hair like this, he also wants to stay blond forever. He wouldn’t mind having blond hair so much, but what is really pissing Kyoutani off are the two brown stripes that Naoki, for some reason, decided not to dye. When Kyoutani asked Naoki about the stripes, Naoki simply answered that he thought it would look cool like this. He didn’t say anything more about it, and Kyoutani found himself more pissed off than before, because if Naoki actually had a real reason to make Kyoutnai have blond hair with stupid _brown stripes_ , he would – maybe – feel less irritated by having his hair dyed like this. Truth be told, Kyoutani's parents weren't exactly happy about Kyoutani's new hairstyle either. 

Kyoutani is so lost in his thoughts that he doesn’t notice Naoki walking toward him with a big smile after he steps out of his mother’s car. He only notices him when he greets him so loud that some of the students turn to look at the two of them. Kyoutani immediately tells Naoki to keep his voice down and not be so loud when there are so many people around, but Naoki just waves it off, saying that it doesn’t matter.

"We should get going if we don’t want to be late,“ he nudged Kyoutani in the direction of the school building, patting his shoulder.

"Oh really,“ Kyoutani says sarcasticaly and rolls his eyes, not forgetting that Naoki is the one who overslept on the very first day of school.

"I don’t know when you started being so sarcastic, but I like it,“ Naoki laughs and looks at Kyoutani over his shoulder. "As long as you don’t use it on me.“

"Sorry,“ Kyoutani is well aware that it didn’t sound any less sarcastic than his last sentence.

"Stop it!“ Naoki laughs and punches Kyoutani in the shoulder playfully. Kyoutani just grins at him in return. He really likes teasing his best friend.

"Anyway, I hope our classrooms are not so far from each other,“ oh, that’s right. They don’t share a classroom. Kyoutani was pretty sad – more like incredibly sad – when he found out that they won‘t go to the same classroom, but since Naoki promised to come over to Kyoutani’s classroom as many times as possible during the breaks, Kyoutani cheered up a little. But just a little. He would still like it better if they were in they shared a classroom. He can’t imagine being all alone in a room full of new faces, and now he won’t even have Naoki there with him.

"Yeah,“ Kyoutani nods as they enter the school. He feels really excited to start attending middle school, but he is more excited about joing the volleyball club.

When he steps into the building, he can’t feel the corners of his lips twitching upwards, forming a small smile on his lips. It all feels so new, so awesome. He will probably curse this whole school a few months from now, so Kyoutani wants to treasure the feeling of being happy just about stepping through the front door for now. He wants to treasure that the first memory of this school is walking through the crowded halls with Naoki by his side.

What will be the first bad memory of this school is most likely the way everyone bumps into one another as they’re trying to walk past each other. Kyoutani feels really uncomfortable when there is someone tall walking past him, occassionaly forcing their way through the crowd. Like, can’t people be a little bit more patient? It’s not that hard to wait five seconds as the path before them clears, and they can walk past other people without a problem. But yes, of course, it’s easier to just shove everyone to the side.

Kyoutani can see club managers standing in almost every corner, asking new students if they don’t want to join their club. He didn’t realize that there are so many different clubs that you can join before he saw all the managers with application forms in their hands. Kyoutani feels bad for the pretty girl from the chess club who is surrounded by so many boys that most likely don’t even think about joining the club, but want to talk to the girl, and this is a perfect opportunity for them.

"Hurry,“ Naoki says impatiently, not letting Kyoutani stop even for a moment. He would like to look around the school before heading to the gym, but Naoki has clearly different plans. To prevent losing Kyoutani in the crowd, Naoki takes him by the hand and leads the way. Kyoutani blindly follows, focusing only on their fingers tangled together and wonders if Naoki feels the same warm feeling while holding Kyoutani’s hand as Kyoutani does. He probably doesn’t, since Kyoutani’s hands are always cold, even in the summer. Kyoutani’s hands feels warm only when Naoki holds them.

"Nobody’s going to be there yet,“ Kyoutani states, but Naoki simply waves him off again, saying that even if the second years or third years are not going to be in the gym, the first years that are joing the volleyball club with them are surely waiting in the gym for their upperclassmen too.

"At least we’ll have some time to get to know each other,“ Naoki beams excitedly. He is always looking forward to meeting new people, and Kyoutani really wants to share his enthusiasm about making new friends, but no matter how hard he tries, he fels more nervous than excited when meeting someone new. Naoki never shows any signs of being nervous and is always very talkative. Kyoutani envies Naoki for his social skills and wishes to be able to talk to people without being nervous someday too. Maybe he will, who knows. Maybe some small part of Naoki’s bright nature will brush off on Kyoutani, and he won’t fear talking to people anymore.

Kyoutani doesn’t even know why he’s so afraid to talk to people. It’s probably because he doesn’t want to get rejected, so he saves himself the trouble and talks only to those who approach him on their own.

"Perfect,“ he mumbles and frowns.

Naoki doesn’t seem to be affected by Kyoutani’s clear disinterest in meeting his new teammates for the next three years and continues in making his way through the mass of students. They get stopped by a few club managers that start to talk about their clubs immediately, giving them application forms and saying that if they changed their mind, they are always free to come and join their club. They politely refuse, but since some of them insist on taking an application form, they take it and carry on walking.

It takes them a few minutes to find the right gym, but they manage somehow. When they open the big metal doors, they only see two boys inside, leaning against the wall. Both of them are pretty tall, and Kyoutani guesses that they will play middle blockers. He hopes they will aim for the position of middle blockers, since he wants to be a wing spiker, and Kyoutani has a bigger chance to become a regular as a wing spiker when these first years are going to be middle blockers.

"Hey~!“ Naoki greets them loudly, lets go of Kyoutani’s hand, and starts walking toward them without hesitation. Kyoutani follows him and greets the two boys too when he is just a few meters away from them, and man, they are tall for their age. Kyoutani is pretty tall himself, but not as much as them. He has grown about eleven centimeters this year and his height may be around 155 centimeters, what is pretty good for a first year. The boys seems to be just ten or so centimeters taller than Kyoutani, but he can’t imagine how uncomfortable it must be for Naoki, who is seemingly the same height as he was when the two of them met in the summer. When Kyoutani looks at Naoki, who has a smile spread across his face, his friend doesn’t look uncomfortable at all, though. On the other hand, Naoki was never affected by simple things – like someone being taller than him – so Kyoutani isn’t all that surprised.

"Are you first years? You’re so tall!“ Naoki exclaims and looks at Kyoutani over his shoulder, whispering a ‘come on‘ before turning back to the boys. "My name is Mitsue Naoki, and this grumpy kid is Kyoutani Kentarou. Nice to meet you!“

"I can introduce myself,“ Kyoutani murmurs quietly to Naoki. „Nice to meet you.“

"Our parents are pretty tall, that’s why we’re tall too,“ one of them says and smiles. "I’m Hiroto Tatsuo, and this is my twin Yosuke. I’m looking forward to playing with you.“

"Twins?! Awesome!“ Naoki echoes in awe. When Kyoutani thinks about it, they truly seem alike.

They are both almost the same height, with only two or three centimeters difference. They both have curly, short, black hair that are a big contrast to their pale skin. Even their face shapes are similar. The only difference Kyoutani can point out is the color of their eyes – one of them has dark, brown eyes that look like chocolate, and the other one’s eyes are green that have a brown rim around the iris.

The Hiroto brothers are very handsome, Kyoutani has to admit. Not out loud, of course.

"Come on, boys! The first years are already here!“ The four of them turn to the door to see what their future teammates look like.

Kyoutani counts them in his head, and he finds out that there are eleven of them. _It will be hard to remember all the names_ , Kyoutani thinks and mentally prepares himself for it.

"Hi!“ Naoki is the first one to greet them, obviously. He bows a little and makes Kyoutani bow too, to which Kyoutani just grunts in response. He really hates this ‘respect your senapis‘ thing. He doesn’t know the upperclassmen. What if they are assholes? Why should he bow or respect assholes? He will bow when he knows that they are worth the respect.

As Kyoutani expected, everyone starts to introduce themselves, and Kyoutani observes every one of the upperclassmen closely. He can tell who has the same playful personality as Naoki, who is more or less neutral about things, who gets easily angry, and who is simply unfriendly.

Every one of his teammates says what possition they play, and Kyoutani is overflowing with excitement when he finds out that there are only two wing spikers and one of them is a thrid year. Kyoutani thinks that he may stand a chance against the second year wing spiker next year. He will train harder than everyone to be a starter as soon as possible.

Kyoutani also notices the way Naoki perks up when he hears that he will be the only libero next year. Naoki always talks about being libero is a big responsibility, and that he wants to be the best libero because team needs a strong libero if they want to win. He already knows that Naoki will train with him even after the compulsory practise after school, and he feels really looking forward to it.

"So, let’s see what’s in you,“ the captain claps his hands together and order them to change.

Kyoutani didn’t expect to have a practise the very first day of middle school, but honestly, he doesn’t have any problem with starting practising volleyball more seriously from the first day on this school.

-

Kyotani isn’t surprised to find out that he won’t be a starter this year, or at least these first months. He cannot even spike the ball properly, nor can he defend the other’s spikes. He has to learn how to recieve, serve and spike properly before stepping on the court and feel confident enough to play good. He just wants to get better, the faster the better.

Their first official match is going to be on March 2nd, and Kyoutani needs to get better before then. He really doubts it, but if something happened to the other spiker, it would be up to him score points for his team. He can’t let them down if something like this really happened.

Kyoutani trains every day, and he trains hard. He never skips practise, even when he has a lot of homework to do. Sometimes he has to do homework at school before the class, since he is too tired for having to wake up for morning practise – which he wouldn’t dare to skip either – so early, and also for training so long at the practise after school to do the homework when he comes home in the evening. He usually just takes a shower, eats dinner and falls asleep right away. He isn’t a bad student, and he remembers many things from the lessons just by listening to the teacher, so he doesn’t have to study at home so much, but Kyoutani is sure that if he keeps this up, his grades will not be as good as they are for now.

The first time Kyoutani stays up for much longer than he usually does just to study a bit more is on the third week of school. He has a big exam coming, and it’s hard so hard to study because he is too stupid for math. He is good - more like average - at japanese and english language, or at biology and geography, or any other subject for that matter. He actually doesn’t have many problems with other subjects, even though he struggles to understand a few things sometimes. It’s just math that he can’t understand at all.

Staying up late to study was supposed to be just a one time thing, but it turns out that he stays up at least one time a week to do a project or a presentation, and then wakes up early for morning practise. It’s exhausting to sleep for such a short amount of time at night, but Kyoutani doesn’t want to have bad grades or skip one of the practises.

That’s why he sleeps during breaks when Naoki can’t come to his class to be with him. Kyoutani doesn’t have many friends in his class, but he is more or less used to being alone, so he doesn’t dwell on it so much. He has more time for studying and sleep that way.

The most surprising thing for Kyoutani is that even though he doesn’t have friend in his class, he is on good terms with his teammates. He thought that they won’t like him and be mean to him just because he is a year or two younger than them, but most of them are nice.

However, there are three second years that pisses Kyoutani off way too much. One of them is a reserve setter, the other is a starter – wing spiker – and the third one is a also a starter – middle blocker. The three of them are pretty tall, and that probably makes them think that they are somehow better than Naoki, since Naoki is the shortest boy on the team. He doesn’t like it when they pick on Naoki and make him do all the cleaning work, although the third years told _them_ to clean up, not Naoki. Kyoutani doesn’t have a problem with picking a fight with his senpais, even though they are taller and older than him. He doesn’t care if they are short or tall, he will beat them up anyway if they keep on making fun of Kyoutani’s best friend. The problem is, Naoki has too much respect for the senpais, and he doesn’t care if they are mean to him or not. He always tell Kyoutani to just leave it like that, saying that it doesn’t really matter and that he shouldn’t pick a fight with the upperclassmen. Kyoutani can’t understand why is Naoki so okay with being the upperclassmen’s puppet, but he listens to his best friend and doesn’t start a fight with any of the second years. He always stays with Naoki to clean up and stands by his side when the second years are throwing insults at Naoki. It takes Kyoutani a lot of self-control not to kick all three of them in the parts where it would hurt the most.

The captain of their team notices how the three second years mocks Naoki for his height every chance they get, and talks to them one day after practise. Kyoutani doesn’t want to eavesdrop, but since he really wants to know what the captain of their team says to them, he listens to their converstation from behind the corner. He is happy when he hears that if the three of them won’t stop making fun of their underclassmen, they will be kicked out of the team, starters or not.

From that day, they don’t even talk to Naoki unless they are ordered to. Kyoutani feels more relaxed when he knows that Naoki doesn’t have to listen to all these stupid insults.

March comes way too quickly, and Kyoutani is getting nervous when he thinks about the interhigh preliminaries starting just two days from now. The team manager gives him his new jersey with number 11 written in the front and on the back, and he holds it for a few minutes just to process that yes, this is really happening, that he is going to play volleyball for real, and that he will have his first official and real match in his life just two days from now. He most likely won’t play in the upcoming matches this year, but he is part of the team. _He is part of the team._ Kyoutani doesn’t know why he feels so happy just for being part of a middle school volleyball team when he can’t even play with these below-average skills of his in a match with the others, but he simply can’t shake of the happiness he’s feeling right now. He can’t describe this feeling, but it’s awesome.

These two days before Interhigh preliminaries are gone in a blink, and he is suddenly standing in front of the big gym with Naoki by his side. His eyes are shining as he’s looking around while walking through the halls of the gym, crowded with players from other schools.

Kyoutani loves the way he can easily tell which players are from the same middle school just by seeing their differently coloured hoodies. He loves that every single person in this gymnasium is determined to win every single match and go to nationals with their team.

"Kentarou-chan,“ Naoki breathes as they step on the court, because damn, it’s so _huge. "_ This place is–“

"I know,“ Kyoutani lets out quietly that only Naoki standing next to him is able to hear it. They look at each other with a smile plastered on their face, gazing into each other’s eyes.

"We’re going to win for sure!“

-

They don’t win. They lose their second match against a school named Seirin, 2:0 on sets. They didn’t have a chance to win against Seirin to begin with, and it was clear from the start when they were warming up – everyone could tell that they were much more skilled than Minamisan. They still managed to have a good math with them though, and their point difference wasn’t as big as everybody expected, but they still lost and that’s what really counts.

The way back is silent, and even though Kyoutani wasn’t on the court for one second during the match, he feels frustration bubbling in him. He didn’t play, but he still wishes his team would have win, and it makes him sad that they lost. He wasn’t able to help his team in any way, and it makes Kyoutani want to go to the gym right now and practise even more.

Their next official match is going to be in late August, and Kyoutani wants to be able to help his team win. He must practise more if he wants to fulfill his wish to help the team, but he is ready to do everything he can to make it happen. He isn’t going to give up halfway through, and he is not going to slack off. And Kyoutani is sure Naoki shares the same thought, judging by his determined look as he stares out of the window of the bus.

"We’re going to nationals together,“ Naoki suddenly turns away from the window and looks straight at Kyoutani, startling him a little.

„Of course,“ Kyoutani nods his head and before he can say anything else, Naoki moves closer to him and lays his head on Kyoutani’s shoulder, letting out a quiet sigh.

"You have to promise,“ he murmurs into Kyoutani’s neck, and Kyoutani doesn’t know why he feels so hot all of sudden. Yes, the weather is nice today, and the sun that shines through the window is making Kyoutani feel pretty warm, but it’s different. In a second, his whole body – even the parts that aren’t on the sun – is on fire.

Kyoutani doesn’t want to think about the things that could make him feel like this. He doesn’t want to think about how comfortable it is to feel Naoki’s body so close to him, about how relaxing it is to listen to his steady breath. He doesn’t want to feel like _this._

"I promise,“ Kyoutani whispers back because he knows that Naoki needs to hear Kyoutani say those two words. He can feel the corners of Naoki’s lips twitch upwards again his shoulder, and for a moment, he forgets about how frustrated he feels. The feeling of frustration is replaced by determination to fulfill this promise. He cannot think too much about the past if he wants to move forward.

Kyoutani closes his eyes and feels the wave of sleepiness wash over him. He falls asleep with a thought of himself, Naoki, and their team standing on the court in a huge gym, being watched by hundreds of people who are witnessing how Minamisan wins against the strongest middle school in Japan. 

-

As he promised to himself, he trains even harder than he did before. He spends all his free time in the school gym, staying after practise to get better at serving and spiking. Naoki tosses to him, saying that libero must know how to toss too, since it helps the team if the setter can’t get to the ball in time or if the setter is the first to touch the ball.

Kyoutani can already see that he got better at spiking, since just five of the ten balls are out of bounds when he spikes them. He knows that he has to lower the number of the ball that he spiked so far that they were off the court, and so Kyoutani asks for help from his captain who is a wing spiker. He gives Kyoutani some tips, and Kyoutani always thinks of them when he spikes the ball. It helps a lot, and Kyoutani is praised by his senpais when they see that he really got better.

His serves are not so bad either. The thing is, his serves are good, but only if the balls actually lends on the opponent’s side of the court, and not on their own. One of the second years starts tutoring him, saying that Kyoutani is going to be a started next year for sure if he keeps getting better like this, and that having a good serve is very important. He also says that Kyoutani has incredible power and if he learns how to control it and use to to his advantage, he is going to be one of the best wing spikers that Minamisan ever had. Kyoutani tries to look composed and says a quiet ‘thank you‘ in return, but he knows that his whole face and ears are red like a tomato as he blushes at the unexpected compliment.

Naoki gets a lot of compliments too. Others say that he has incredible reflexes, and that he is going to be a good libero, since he doesn’t give up on saving the ball to the last moment. Kyoutani has heard that libero should be able to cheer other team members up when they lose the will to play and fight, thinking that they can’t win. Naoki is surely able to do just that because his personality is literally the definition of the word ‘cheer up‘.

He manages not to think about how bad things are at home when he’s at school, or at practise. Everything is just fine when he’s not home, but when he returns, Kyoutani can’t overlook how much their family changed in a year. He gets to the stage when he doesn’t even _want_ to go home. Kyoutani isn’t exactly a ball of sunshine like Naoki, but he isn’t sad either. However, that changes everytime he steps into his house and sees his father taking a nap on a couch in the living room, since his parent’s bedroom now belongs only to his mother.

Yeah, that’s right. His mother.

Kyoutani sometimes forgets she is still here, because she doesn’t see her leaving her bedroom more than once a week. Kyoutani knows she comes out when Kyoutani’s at school or is asleep late at night to grab something to eat, to take a shower or go to the toilet. Kyoutani always knows when his mother leaves her bedroom at night, since his parents gets into an argument almost every night. He doesn’t want to listen to their arguments, and he doesn’t want to go downstairs only to see them arguing either. And so he buys himself new headphones and listens to music all night, trying to ignore the angry screams from the living room. It works.

Kyoutani can’t say he doesn’t miss his mother. He really, really does, but there is nothing he can do about her being like this. He tried to talk to her so many times, but she never listened, and so Kyoutani stopped trying to talk to her. It hurt to know that his own mother doesn’t want to talk to him, but he had to deal with it. There was no other choice for him than to accept it and wait for his mother to come up to him however long it takes.

To his surprise, it doesn’t take long. His mother occasionally comes to his room and talks to him, asking how his day was. Kyoutani was never very talkative, but when he finally has a chance to talk to his mother, he doesn’t want to waste it. After Kyoutani tells his mother about his day, she gives him a kiss on his forehead and gives him a weak smile. She always says ‘I love you, Kentarou‘ when she leaves, and everytime she say those words, Kyoutani can feel his eyes watering.

Kyoutani usually cries himself to sleep and is tired the next morning after his mother’s visit.

Days pass too quickly for Kyoutani’s liking, and they are always almost the same. Not that he minds, because sparing time with Naoki is something he treasures very much, but with every passing day, Kyoutani thinks of how little time he has before Spring High tournament. Even though he practises so much, nobody can get better at something as hard as volleyball over night. Still, Kyoutani doesn’t want to think about this saying, because he just _needs_ to get better as soon as possible. He knows that if volleyball was easy – or any sport for that matter – everyone would play it. He knows it, but he can’t help but think that he has to get better at volleyball, and he has to get better quick. He has the chance to be a regular next year, and being a regular means that you have to be good. Kyoutani doesn’t want to be on the court just because there are no other players who can play the position of a wing spiker. He wants to deserve standing on the court along with his teammates, and he won’t stop practising until he is at least a little satisfied with himself.

The practise always seems so short, although Kyoutani spends about four or five hours in the gym before going home. It doesn’t feel like he is there for such a long time, and even when he finds out that he’s been in the gym forever, Kyoutani still feels like he can do more, practise more, trying to get better faster.

Naoki is always the one who drags him out of the gym late in the evening, saying that he can’t push himself so hard. Kyoutani tries to argue and make Naoki stay with him practising a little bit longer, but Naoki refuses to listen to his constant whining and says that he doesn’t want Kyoutani to get hurt. However, he promises Kyoutani to stay with him to do some extra practise, and Kyoutani doesn’t have any other choice because he knows that whatever he says, Naoki would drag him out of the gym one way or another, so he agrees to go home.

They grab something to eat along the way and eat it in silence, not wanting to talk with their mouths full. When they finish their snack, Naoki – like always – starts a conversation.

"You are really serious about volleyball, right?“ he laughs a little and looks at Kyoutani with this warm smile of his, his eyes shining in the moonlight.

"Obviously. Where did that come from?“ Kyoutani shoots him a curious glance, and once his eyes meet Naoki’s, Kyoutani is unable to look away. God, how much Kyoutani loves Naoki’s eyes. Kyoutani heard that girls like when boys have pretty eyes. He wonders if girls also like Naoki’s eyes as much as Kyoutani does, but on the other side, there is nothing to be wondering about, since they would be weird if they didn’t like such beautiful, green eyes.  

"I don’t really know,“ Naoki shakes his head and averts his eyes from Kyoutani. He looks up at the sky, still smiling. It’s been almost a year since the two of them met, but Kyoutani still can’t understand how the boy can smile so much. Guess he’ll never understand. "I mean... I actually know, but... Just, you know– God, this is hard.“

"That was very clear, thank you,“ Kyoutani doesn’t forget to use his sarcasm and rolls his eyes. He may look like he doesn’t care about what Naoki is trying so hard to say, but truth be told, he is actually very curious. Naoki never has a problem with saying what’s on his mind, so it’s kind of weird to see him searching for words.

"Jeez, that newly found sarcasm of yours,“ Naoki rolls his eyes too. He moves closer to Kyoutani, and maybe he doesn’t think that Kyoutani notices, but Kyoutani surely _did_ notice. "I’m just really glad I have you, you know.“

Kyoutani stops walking, shocked to hear Naoki say something like that. It isn’t like Naoki is somehow secretive about how much he likes Kyoutani, but he never said it so straightforwardly. Kyoutani suddenly doesn’t know what to say, so he just stares at Naoki with his eyes wide open.

"Don’t look at me like that!“ Naoki huffs angrily, but he stops walking too. Kyoutani can see how nervous Naoki is, and he is even more surprised because Naoki is never nervous when talking to people. Why is he nervous now? He knows Kyoutani too well to be nervous around him "I know it’s weird to say something like that out of the blue, but I just– I needed to say it.“

Kyoutani’s eyes start to hurt, since he haven’t blinked for almost a minute now, but he doesn’t have time to realize that he should stop staring like he just heard the biggest secret in the world. He is trying to proces what Naoki said just a few seconds ago, but he can‘t even believe that Naoki really said it.

"You were my first real friend, you know. Like, I had friends, but I didn’t like them as much as I like you. I can’t imagine that you wouldn’t be here with me right now, that you wouldn’t be playing volleyball with me. And I really want to make it to the nationals with you and out team,“ Naoki is talking quietly, but in Kyoutani’s ears it’s like he’s screaming those words. It seems that he said everything he wanted, and he is waiting for Kyoutani to say something in return. He is blushing with bright red, and Kyoutani is able to see it even in the dark.

 _This situation is so similar to these scenes in dramas when a person confesses that they love the other person_ , Kyoutani thinks. He doesn’t know what to say, but he doesn’t want to make Naoki wait too long for his response.

So Kyoutani gulps and starts talking without thinking too much about what he really wants to say.

"You were my first friend ever,“ Kyoutani mumbles, and he sees how Naoki’s eyes widen. Naoki looks surprised when he hears Kyoutani say that he was his first friend, but Kyoutani doesn’t know why. Kyoutani doesn’t look like a friendly person, there was no reason for other kids to befriend him. „I like playing volleyball with you. And there is no way we won’t make it to nationals. This year, the year after, or our last year, we will surely make it to nationals together.“

He knows that what he said is not much, but it’s all he could think of. He is not good in this heart-to-heart talk, and Naoki knows it, so he can understand how hard it was for Kyoutani to say even these short sentences.

There is silence between them for a while, and Kyoutani can’t look up to see Naoki’s face. He feels so embarrassed, even though there is no reason for him to embarrassed. Naoki is his best friend, he doesn’t have to be embarrassed about anything when he is with Naoki.

"That was so nice, Kentarou-chan!“ Naoki’s cheerful voice pierce through the silence of the night as he throws himself at Kyoutani, who almost loses his balance. It’s not like Naoki is heavy or something, but he just didn’t expect a hug.

Kyoutani blinks in surprise, but hesitantly moves his arms up to hug Naoki back.

"I really, really like you, Kentarou-chan,“ he whispers to Kyoutani’s ear, and Kyoutani’s heart stops beating for a few seconds, his breath catching in his throat. He wants to say that he likes Naoki too, but his mouth feels dry, and he can’t bring himself to say something, the words just don’t come out even when he’s trying really hard.

"Okay, let’s go. This is getting too sappy,“ Naoki steps away from Kyoutani and gives him a big, toothy smile. He starts walking again, probably not realizing that he made Kyoutani speechless and unable to move with saying those words.

"Y-Yeah,“ Kyoutani finally manages to say something, and mentally curses himself for stuttering like a child. He follows Naoki after he realizes that Naoki is not going to stop and wait for him. He catches up in no time, and tries to act natural, but it’s nearly impossible.

 _I really, really like you._ Kyoutani can’t get it out of his head, no matter how hard he tries to forget about it. He is feeling like there are butterflies in his stomach, and although this feeling is one of the best feelings in the world he has ever felt, it feels wrong at the same time for some reason. Is it normal to feel so wonderful and out of this world just because his best friend told him he likes him? It’s a normal thing to let your friend know that you care about them, so why he feels like this?

Kyoutani doesn’t understand it, but he thinks that it can’t be a bad thing to feel god after hearing that someone else likes you.

 _It can’t be a bad thing_ , Kyoutani repeats in his head until he starts to believe in it himself.

-

Kyoutani feels incredibly happy, knowing that if they make it through the preliminaries this weekend, there are going to be more official matches during the school year. What he doesn't understand though, is why in the world is Miyagi prefectural qualification round in the summer and not during the school year. Yes, that's right, it’s finally August, and Kyoutani is standing in the same gymnasium as six months ago. Spring High qualification round is about to start in a few minutes, and Kyoutani is shaking in excitement, unable to control himself.

"Okay, we have twenty minutes until the opening ceremony starts, so if you wanna go to the toilet, or buy something to eat, now’s your time. If you’re not gonna be there on time, you’re gonna receive a punishment. And we know what happened the last time somebody got a punishment, right?“ their captain looks at one of the twins, who crouches a little and looks away, embarrassed.

Kyoutani remembers Tatsuo running around the gym until he couldn’t anymore and if having a punishment means running until he passes out, he’ll make sure to be on time. Hell, he’ll even come five minutes earlier to be sure that he isn’t late.

"Twenty minutes. Understood?“

"Yes!“ everybody says in unison and starts walking away in different directions.

"Kentarou-chan, I need to go to the toilet. Come with me,“ Naoki tugs on the sleeve of Kyoutani’s dark red hoodie. Kyoutani looks down at Naoki, frowning.

"You went to the toilet just half an hour before,“ Kyoutani sighs, clearly annoyed by Naoki’s need to go to the toilet _again_.

"Yes, I did, but I’ve been drinking a lot of water there thrity minutes, so–“

"Okay, come on,“ Kyoutani rolls his eyes and bumps into Naoki when he starts walking toward the men’s room as if saying that Naoki should follow him. He hears Naoki thanking him, but Kyoutani knows that Naoki knew from the start that he wouldn’t turn him down.    

"There are so many people,“ Naoki observes on their way to the toilet, quietly humming a melody from a song that played in the bus this morning. "And don’t even try to say something sarcastic, or I’ll kick you. For real.“

"I wasn’t going to.“

"You were,“ Naoki says with a laugh, glancing at Kyoutani who looks away immediately. Okay, maybe he wanted to say something sarcastic, but he isn’t going to admit that Naoki was right. He knows Kyoutani way too well.

"Don’t take too long. I’m going to buy something to eat. I’ll meet you there,“ Kyoutani mutters when they reach the men’s room, ignoring Naoki’s request to buy something sweet. Kyoutani likes sweet things, but he doesn’t have enough money to buy something sweet and an actual food. He is probably going to be a baguette in a vending machine he saw by the entrance.

He takes his mobile out of the pocket in his hoodie, unlocking it and sending a text to his father that they finally arrived and nobody got hurt along the way. He presses the send button, but his mobile refuses to send the text. Kyoutani tries to send it once again, but there is this small, red exclamation mark next to his text. Kyoutani lets out an annoyed sigh, turning his phone off just to turn it on again. He desperately needs a new phone.

Kyoutani turns the corner in the end of the hall, and is glad that there are not so many people because he seriously hates crowded places. He is in the middle of entering his pin code when someone bumps into him, and Kyoutani’s phone almost falls out of his hand. Kyoutani is about to yell at the stranger who bumped into him, but the boy is faster than him.

"Gah, so hot!“ the stranger yelps, and Kyoutani looks up from his mobile. The boy in front of him has his coffee spilled all over his green shirt, and is hissing from pain. "You should watch where you’re going next time.“

The stranger shoots Kyoutani an angry glare from behind his brown bangs, huffing out an irritated sigh.

"What did you say?“ Kyoutani growls in a dangerous tone, but the boy doesn’t seem to be affected by Kyoutani’s voice in the slightest. Other people in the hall exchange a look between each other and quickly run away, not wanting to be a part of whatever’s going to happen.

Kyoutani takes a better look at the boy as they stare into each other’s eyes viciously.

The boy is just a little taller than him, and Kyoutani is sure that they would be the same height if the stranger’s hair was cut short like Kyoutani’s. It would be probably better if the stranger cut his hair, because his hairstyle looks really ridiculous. And not just that the shape of his hair looks ridiculous, but the color of his hair is weird too. His hair is mostly light brown, but Kyoutani can see that in some places, his hair looks almost silver. Kyoutani doesn’t know if his sight is playing games with him, or if the stranger’s hair is really brown and silver. Why the hell would his hair be silver? _Maybe he too has a stupid friend that dyed his hair without his permission,_ Kyoutani thinks petulantly.

Kyoutani finds himself staring stupidly at the boy, looking at his eyes in awe. The boy’s eyes are round and big, and are also the same color as his hair, and he has never seen a person who’s eye color is the same as hair color. Kyoutani quite likes this combination.

He has ivory skin, almost as pale as Naoki’s. His lips aren’t exactly thin, but they are not full either. They have nice pink color, though.

The boy is pretty handsome, but that won’t stop Kyoutani from starting and argument with him.

"I said, watch where you’re going,“ the boy grits through his teeth, and continues to stare at Kyoutani angrily. It’s the first time someone didn’t back off when Kyoutani raised his voice at them, and Kyoutani is fairly surprised.

„Well, you should be more careful,“ Kyoutani takes one step closer to the boy, frowning more.

„So it’s my fault?“ the boy rises his eyebrows. He looks like he can’t believe that Kyoutani dared to blame him for what happened. Yes, maybe it was Kyoutani’s fault that they bumped into each other, but it wasn’t entirely his fault. The boy should be more careful with his coffee.

"Obviously,“ Kyoutani rolls his eyes. He looks at the boy’s stained shirt, and then looks back at him. "Why were you drinking hot coffee, anyway? It’s summer.“

"That’s none of your business,“ the boy murmurs and throws the now-empty cup in the trash bin, letting out an annoyed sigh. He takes a quick look at his dirty shirt, and then glances at Kyoutani. His expression doesn’t look angry anymore, just desperate. The shirt he’s wearing is probably the shirt he has to wear while warming up before a match, and Kyoutani suddenly feels quite bad for bumping into him. What if he got the boy in trouble for ruining his shirt?

He observes the boy’s face as it softens, and Kyoutani has to say that he looks much better when he’s not scowling. He has this naturally kind face – like Naoki, or his team‘s captain, for example – and it just doesn’t suit him when he’s trying to look tough. Okay, it may suit him a little, since now he looks like a lost puppy, and then he looked really cool, but he looks good nonetheless.

Wait. What is he even thinking about?

"Okay, whatever,“ Kyoutani wants to just walk past him and forget about this whole thing, but the guilt that the boy might get into trouble is eating him alive, so he stops right next to him, and apologizes. "I’m sorry. But it was not entirely my fault.“

Kyoutani is really stubborn when it comes to situations like this. He will apologize, but only if he knows that he was at fault. Now he was at fault, but it wasn’t _just_ his fault, so he isn’t going to apologize, and take all the blame on himself.

"You’re truly unbelievable–“

"Shigeru! Come already, we don’t have all day,“ someone shouts, and Kyoutani turns his head to see who is shouting. He sees a boy in green shirt, and guesses that it’s the boy’s teammate.

He turns back to the boy in front of him, who’s eyes widen in shock. He probably has somewhere else to be.

"Coming!“ he shouts back and sends an apologetic smile to his teammate who just huffs in frustration. Then he looks at Kyoutani, and Kyoutani swears his heart stops as the boy smiles at him kindly. „I’m sorry too.“

And before Kyoutani can say something more, the boy is already beside his teammate, walking away and dissapearing behind the corner. Kyoutani stands without moving for a while, but then he remembers that Naoki is probably waiting for him, and he should hurry up.

The boy’s name... Shigeru. Kyoutani doesn’t know if it’s his given name or his surname, but it discribes the boy very well. _Handsome_. Yes, he sure was handsome.

Kyoutani doesn’t even know why he’s describing the boy as handsome in his head, but he thinks it must be normal. It’s nothing weird to say that the other guy is handsome, right? Kyoutani doesn’t have problem with admitting things like this if they are just in his head. Other boys have it most likely the same. Admitting things out loud is a different thing though, and that must be why he has never heard any other boy admit that their male friend is handsome.

There is nothing wrong with it for sure.

Kyoutani doesn’t want to think about it anymore, so he occupies his mind with different thoughts – for example, which baguette he should buy. That’s the hardest question to answer right now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> okay, so the next chapter will be up this weekend, probably on Tuesday (17th May) or on Wednesday (18th May) :). I know I am late, but when we came home from nationals, I had to study a lot to catch up. Hope you understand.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yeah, I'm still alive. Sorry for not updating for so long, but since I've returned from nationals, I have a lot of school work since I wasn't at school for so long. I feel like I am dying from not getting more than 6 hours of sleep per day xD Ahh, I want holidays already! 
> 
> Okay, so the angst starts. This is just the beginning, the next chapter will be mostly angst with a little bit of fluff and *badum tss* Yahaba, yaaaay. The next update will be on 25th May (I think it's Wednesday, if I'm wrong please let me know xD). I'll update weekly - like before - since I've done all my school work. :) 
> 
> THANK YOU FOR YOUR COMMENTS!!! I LOVE YOU SO MUCH!
> 
> And also, for those who don't play volleyball - opposite is something like a wing spiker, but there is a difference between opposite and wing spiker, so I chose to simply write "opposite" instead of going into the depth. Sorry if it's confusing xD

They lose at Spring High too, but not in the first rounds. They lose in the finals against a school named Kitagawa Daiichi, and Kyoutani can’t even imagine how devasted the third years must be. It was their last chance to play at high school, and Kitagawa Daiichi crashed all of their hopes to make it to the nationals in their last year. Kyoutani feels pretty sad too, but he is determined to make it to the nationals the next year, or his last year.

Even though their captain said that they should take a break from practising at least for two days from now, Kyoutani and Naoki are in the gym as soon as they can – and that means right after school, one day after the tournament. However, they are not the only one who came to practise, despite their captain saying that they should rest for a while. The twins are here too, and there are also some third years that want to play one more time with the team before fully focusing on their studies.

As they play, Kyoutani finds himself feeling more relaxed when the seconds years are not here – they are the only ones who didn’t show up today. Even the captain, who said that they should take a break for a while, was here. Kyoutani didn’t mind at all, since Naoki looked much happier without them here. Although the captain gave the second years a long talk about kicking them out of the team if they don’t stop bullying underclassmen, they still made fun of Naoki occasionally. And it was pissing Kyotani off more and more. After the third years are gone, one of the second years is probably going to be a captain, and Kyoutani simply can’t imagine either of them as a captain. They are too arrogant, pessimistic, and they have never even tried to cheer up their teammates. Kyoutani doesn’t have a really good personality to begin with, but he would never bully someone or make fun of someone just because of simple things like height. He especially doesn’t understand when they say that libero is an useless position. He almost punched the second year setter when he heard him say this. If they didn’t have a libero on their team, they wouldn’t have made it so far, this year or years before. They should be glad that this position exist because most of the attacks would be surely impossible without libero’s perfect passes right into the setter hands. Kyoutani would say all of this to them, but he knows that they are too stupid to understand, so he just rolls his eyes at them and walks away with Naoki by his side.

"You’re spacing out again,“ Yosuke, one of the twin brothers, waves his hand in front of Kyoutani’s face. „It’s your turn to serve.“

"Oh, right,“ Kyoutani blinks a few times and takes the volleyball in his hands. He walks to the end of the gym and takes a deep breath before looking up at the opponent’s side of the court, trying to figure out where to serve so it’ll make the receiving harder. Kyoutani notices that there is too much space between the captain and the other receiving player.

Kyoutani throws the ball high into the air, and takes a few steps forward when the volleyball starts to fall back down. He makes sure that his leg technique is right, and jumps as high as possible. His eyes are focusing only on the ball which is falling down, and when the ball is right where Kyoutani’s hand is, he swings. Hard. Kyoutani watches as the ball flies through the air faster than he expected, slamming to the ground without being touched by the receiving players.

There is a silence for a while, and Kyoutani thinks it’s probably because everyone is shocked that it wasn’t out of bounds this time.

"What was that?!“ Yosuke yells, surprise clear in his voice. Kyoutani look at him, not knowing what to say. "That was amazing, man!“

Yosuke laughs and pats Kyoutani on the shoulder. Kyoutani blinks at him, but before he can get a word out of his mouth, everyone starts praising him. It’s weird to be praised by every member of the club, and Kyoutani feels his cheeks burning up as his captain says that it was a really good serve, and that Kyoutani’s hard practise is paying off.

"Another one!“ Naoki smiles at him as he throws him the ball. Kyoutani smiles back, nodding.

The next serve isn’t as good as the first one, but Kyoutani is glad when he sees that his teammates had troubles receiving it. If he isn’t going to play the next year as a wing spiker, he can at least try to get points while serving as a pinch server.

 _No_ , Kyoutani shakes his head. _I’m going to be a regular next year._

"Hey, Kyoutani! Look out!“ someone yells, but it’s too late. The volleyball is too close to his face for Kyoutani to dodge it, so he just closes his eyes and gets ready for the hit. He doesn’t have to wait more than one second before the ball hits him right in the face, sending him to the ground. Although the spike wasn’t that strong, it was strong enough to make Kyoutani’s head spin and lose his balance.

Kyoutani hears the scared yelps that come out of his teammates‘ mouth as he collapses to the ground, his eyes still closed. After lying on the floor for a few seconds without moving, he opens his eyes again and sees all of his teammates standing above him, concerned looks on their faces.

"Are you alright?“ the vice captain asks the moment Kyoutani opens his eyes. "I’m so sorry!“

"I’m good,“ Kyoutani mumbles and rubs his face with his hands. It would be stupid to get angry at the vice captain for spiking the ball to his face. It was unintetional, Kyoutani knows that. Getting hit by the vollybeall was mostly – if not entirely – Kyoutani’s fault. He should have paid more attention.

Kyoutani slowly sits up, blinking a few times as the world around him spins and the faces suddenly get blurry. He wants to lay back down.

"God, you’re bleeding!“ Kyoutani distantly hears Naoki’s voice and touches his nose. When he looks at his hand, he can see red blood on his fingers. It doesn’t actually _hurt_ , Kyoutani just feels his face throbbing, and his nose won’t stop bleeding.

"I’ll take him to the nurse office,“ Naoki says, and Kyoutani can hear the panic in his voice, even though nothing terrible has happened – getting hit by a volleyball isn’t really something new if you play this sport.

Before he can protest, Kyoutani is already dragging him out of the gym, walking the halls of the school. Naoki doesn’t say anything, he just keeps handing him more tissues so he doesn’t bleed all over the floor.

Kyoutani doesn’t care that his nose is bleeding, the only thing he has in mind is that Naoki is _holding his hand._  He can’t understand why are his hands so cold even though they have played volleyball for almost two hours straight now.

When they finally get to the nurse office, the nice looking lady immediately tells him to sit down on the chair and tilt his head upward. Kyoutani does what the nurse said to him while she’s searching for more tissues for Kyoutani’s still bleeding nose. Kyoutani heard from his classmates that you shouldn’t tilt your head upward when your nose is bleeding, but he also heard that it’s not good to keep your head down. For now, he has to trust the nurse.

-

Kyoutani doesn’t understand why they had to go to the nurse office just because his nose was bleeding. The nurse only gave him more tissues for his nose, told him to wait until the bleeding stops and asked a few basic question about how he feels. Nothing really important. They could have stayed at the gym and wait until the bleeding stops there, going to the nurse office was pointless.

However, when Kyoutani says this to Naoki, his friend glares at him angrily, then looks away again. Kyoutani doesn’t understand his behavior – why is he angry anyway? He was the one who wanted to take Kyoutani to the nurse, he doesn’t have any reson to be angry with him. Right?

„You are such an idiot,“ Naoki shakes his head after a few moments of silence, shooting a glance at Kyoutani. This time, he doesn’t seem as angry as two minutes before. He looks pretty annoyed, but that’s all. „You should be more careful.“

Kyoutani wants to say something sarcastic in return, but he can’t bring himself to do it when he sees Naoki’s concerned expression. He realizes that Naoki doesn’t want to lecture him, he just wants Kyoutani to take better care of himself.

"I spaced out for a second, and then I just saw the ball right in front of my face. I didn’t plan on getting him by the ball,“ Kyoutani murmurs and folds his arms.

"That’s what I’m talking about. Don’t space out during practise, otherwise you’ll get hurt,“ Naoki rolled his eyes and looked at Kyoutani sharply. "I don’t like it when you get hurt.“

Kyoutani tries to look composed, but at times like this, he can’t help but blush furiously. He knows that Naoki cares deeply for him and that he shouldn’t be surprised when Naoki is concerned about him, but Kyoutani really can’t help it. It feels nice, knowing that he cares about Kyoutani.

"I know. I won’t space out anymore,“ Kyoutani looks at Naoki from the corners of his eyes, and he can see the small smile replacing the thin line of his lips.

„You better!“ his friend bumps into him before he starts running toward the gym, saying that they should hurry. Kyoutani doesn’t even hesitate and follows Naoki through the "alls.

-

Graduation comes too soon for Kyoutani’s liking, and saying goodbye to the third years is more painful that he imagined it to be. He doesn’t realize how much he’ll miss them before the third years leave. Parting ways with them and wishing them a good life makes Kyoutani feel rather sad, and it’s the first time he feels sad when the spring break is starting.

Kyoutani spends the first night of the break with Naoki. His parents didn’t have a problem with Kyoutani sleeping over, since they already got used to him visiting almost everyday. Kyoutani’s dad didn’t have a problem either when Kyoutani asked him if he can accept Naoki’s offer to sleep at his house. Kyoutani’s father never has a problem when it comes to sleeping at Naoki’s or being out with Naoki, since he knows that the two of them are best friends, so Kyoutani didn’t even have to ask him for a permission.

Like always, Kyoutani and Naoki’s father play video games for two hours before dinner, and after dinner Naoki’s parents, Naoki and Kyoutani watch a movie they pick together. It really does feel nice, this family evenings. Kyoutani can’t even remember the last time his parents and him had a dinner together, nor watched a movie. He doesn’t want to think about his own family though, so he focuses on the movie that is playing on the big television in front of him.

After the movie, Naoki’s mother gives both of them a good night kiss, saying that they shouldn’t stay up too late because they will be tired tomorrow morning, and the boys nod even though they have no intention of going to sleep early. Naoki’s mother probably knows it too, but doesn’t say anything more.

And of course, Naoki and Kyoutani stay up far too long for their own good, watching volleyball videos and playing different video games, switching them every ten minutes. They are trying to be quiet so they won’t wake up Naoki’s parents, but time to time, one of them lets out a loud laugh or yelp, to which the other one of the duo is obligated to throw a pillow at his friend to make him shut up. It’s kind of ironic, Kyoutani thinks. He doesn’t usually laugh and if he does, it’s just a small, quiet laugh. And now, when he has to be as quiet as possible, he laughs like never before. Seriously, there is something wrong with him.

They want to stay up all night, thinking that it would feel like they are adults, but they fall asleep beside each other about 1 a.m.. There was a document about some guy who travels around the world, so Naoki insisted that they are going to watch, but their eyes closed after twenty minutes. It wasn’t boring at all – in fact, it was pretty interesting – but they are still too young to stay up so late.

Kyoutani forgets that Naoki’s mother brought him a futon with an extra pillow and blanket, which is laying right beside Naoki’s bed. Kyoutani would definitely lie if he said that he would rather sleep in his own bed, even though sleeping with Naoki gets really messy sometimes, since Naoki kicks in his sleep and moves around a lot. He likes being close to Naoki. He likes feeling Naoki‘s warm body next to his always cold one, hearing his steady breath beside his ear as he falls asleep, or breath in his nice scent.

Maybe it’s really wrong of Kyoutani to say it, but he feels better falling asleep here with Naoki than he feels falling asleep at home. He feels so much safer when Naoki is with him, and he thinks it’s because Naoki is his best friend, but deep down Kyoutani knows there is something more to it. However, everytime the thought of Naoki being more than his best friend comes to his mind, Kyoutani tries to push it back, to some dark corner in the back of his head. It’s understandable that he feels like there is something more to it, since Naoki was his first friend ever. Of course he feels like this, but that’s it. Nothing more.

Kyoutani hates thinking about it. He hates it so much, and yet, he always finds himself thinking about it more than he should.

"Ouch,“ Kyoutani mutters, tired and sleepy. It’s not the first time Naoki punched him in his sleep, but it doesn’t hurt less than before, or any other time. He slaps his hand away with a grunt, turning his back to Naoki while he rubs his face with his own hand. He is ready to go to sleep again with a thought that the nice dream he had may come back, but Kyoutani’s sleepiness washes away right when he feels Naoki’s body pressing against his back. He also throws his right hand over Kyoutani, snuggling closer to him and shifting a little before letting out a satisfied sigh. Kyoutani knows he is blushing from being _so close_ to Naoki and being hugged by him from behind. Yes, they always sleep together, but never like this. They _never_ sleep like the couples he has seen on television.

"Sorry,“ Naoki mumbles, and Kyoutani doesn’t know if he is up, or if he is still asleep and just apologized subconsciously or something. What Kyoutani does know for sure is that his heart is pounding strongly against his chest, and his body is heating up with every passing second. He wants to calm down, he really does, because if Naoki isn’t sleeping right now, he must feel Kyoutani‘s unhealthily fast heartbeat, and Kyoutani wouldn’t be able to answer why he’s like this if Naoki asked about it tomorrow morning.

He takes a deep breath, hoping that it may calm him, at least a little. He tries to focus on something else – anything else, for that matter – and hopes that it will help and that he’ll be able to fall asleep. Although, after ten minutes of searching for something to focus on in Naoki’s room, he knows that this isn’t the way to calm down and return to sleeping. His heart isn’t racing as much as before, but his heartbeat still isn‘t normal. His body is on fire, especially the parts where Naoki’s touching him.

Now, Kyoutani knows that it’s impossible to fall asleep like this so he tries a different method. Thinking that it’s more than comforatble to be so close to his friend, he focuses on their closeness, on how amazing does it feel. He forgets about how feeling like this is probably wrong and just gives in to these feelings that he tried so hard to ignore.

Kyoutani closes his eyes, once again breathing in and out. He concentrates on Naoki’s arms wrapped around his body, his body pressed against Kyoutani’s back, and their tangled legs under the blanket. It feels nice, being so close, and Kyoutani lets himself think like this the first time in months. He doesn’t chase the thoughts away, doesn’t think of anything else than Naoki’s sleeping figure beside him.

And it’s so much easier to fall asleep when he doesn’t think of himself as weird for liking Naoki’s body pressed again his own. It’s actually easier than he would ever thought, and he drifts to sleep as quickly as never before.

-

This spring break is different than last year. Since both, Naoki and Kyoutani, are now part of the volleyball team, they can’t slack off even during the break. They have practises five times per week, returning back home all beat up like they have just run ten hours straight. It’s actually not too far from the truth, since they run _a lot_ , but they don’t run for such a long amount of time. They usually run just – yeah, _just_ , as their new captain said –  twenty laps around the gym for gaining more stamina.

Reiko visits for one and a half week, but because of the practises they have almost every day, they don’t spend together as much time as before, since Kyoutani is too tired to hang out after the practise. They have another sleepover, though.

The sleepovers are always the same, but Kyoutani loves them more than anything. He knows exactly how it’ll go – dinner, video games, a movie – but he just loves it, the way everyone is _together_. Kyoutani loves that he feels like he has a true family.

What’s different today is that Reiko is even more clingy than usual. Kyoutani shoots Naoki a question look every now and then, but his friend just smirks at him like he knows something Kyoutani doesn’t. He is really bothered by it, to be honest. He feels like it’s something important, and he just doesn’t see it, even though everyone around him seems to know about it.

Kyoutani doesn’t understand until Reiko gives him a kiss on the cheek before going to sleep, blushing. He starts to understand because Kyoutani blushes like this too, sometimes. Mostly at times when Naoki is too close to him or holds his hand, like holding your best friend’s hand like couples do in the sappy romantic movies is a casual thing.

"She likes you,“ Naoki whispers into Kyoutani’s ear after Reiko is gone, making Kyoutani gult loudly. Kyoutani knows it... Now. And he feels guilty for not feeling the same way about her as she feels about Kyoutani. He doesn’t want to hurt her feelings, he doesn’t want to lose _anyone_.

"Yeah?“ Kyoutani asks dumbly.

"Obviously,“ Naoki pats his shoulder and then leans his head on the same shoulder he patted just a seconds ago. „What’s not to like, anyway.“

Kyoutani feels even worse than before. Not only he doesn’t return Reiko’s feelings, but he might have the same feelings for Naoki. He doesn’t know why it has to be Naoki, of all people, but Kyoutani knows that it’s wrong. He can like a boy. Boys can only like girls.

Kyoutani promises himself that he will tries his best to hise his feelings and maybe, just maybe, these feelings will go away.

 _They won’t_ , screams Kyoutani’s mind, but he just shakes his head and ignores it.

 _They will have to_.

-

Kyoutani knows it’s wrong of him to say it, but he is glad that Reiko haven’t confessen to him before returning back to her home town. Although it’s not like she really had to confess, since she made her affection for Kyoutani pretty obvious by touching him, kissing his cheek on regular basis, or holding his hand when they were sitting beside each other. Kyoutani never told her to stop doing these things even when he wanted to. He doesn’t really know why, since it was really making him feel uncomfortable in his own skin, but it was probably because he didn’t want to hurt her feelings.

He didn’t push her away, but he didn’t initiate anything either. Naoki probably notices how uncomfortable he feels, because he would sometimes drag Kyoutani away from Reiko or sit between them to give Kyoutani the space he so desperately needed.

"You don’t like her, do you?“ Naoki didn’t have to say that he meant the word like as the like _like,_ in a more romantic sense.

Kyoutani remembers thinking that Naoki will be angry with him for not liking Reiko back, they are family after all, but Naoki just nodded understandingly when Kyoutani gave him an honest answer, saying that it can’t be helped. Naoki doesn’t push it further and doesn’t ask about it any more either. Kyoutani can’t say how grateful he is, so he simply smiles at his best friend, hoping that Naoki understands the unsaid thank you. The fact that Kyoutani doesn’t like Reiko back like _this_ doesn’t mean he doesn’t like her as a friend, though. He still likes her and when she had to go home, he was sad to see her go.

Kyoutani feels a twinge of envy for Reiko, to be honest. She has her feelings or figured out, and she was free to let everyone know that she likes Kyoutani. And than there is him, who doesn’t even know what he feels for his best friend and is afraid to admit that there is _something_ to a single person, or even to himself. Kyoutani slowly starts figuring it out, but he still isn’t sure if what he feels can be called _love_. It sounds ridiculous in Kyoutani’s head, not to mention forbidden. He has never heard of person liking someone who is the same gender, and Kyoutani isn’t ready to be the first one for sure. This strong affection he feels can’t be ignored, but Kyoutani still wants to think that his feelings will go away with time.

He tells himself that it will go away every day, but it doesn’t help. Nothing helps.

-

School starts again, and with school comes studying. Some of Kyoutani’s teachers are patient, knowing that the students need a little bit more time to return to their school routine, but there are teachers who throw work at them immediately, not caring that almost every kid is mentally far, far away. Kyoutani is one of the kids whose head is somewhere in the clouds, thinking about how nice it was to wake up just before lunch and not so early in the morning, that’s why the disgust he feels when their math teacher is giving them homework is practically piercing through the air in the class.

The only reason why Kyoutani is happy that the new year is starting is that they can use the gym again for more than two hours like they did during the spring break. And Kyoutani is really curious about the new first years. He wonders if there are players hyperactive like Naoki this year too. This team will need more players who can cheer everybody up, because the third years will surely be the death of them this year. The assholes will be the oldest of them all, and Kyoutani can already see them acting like they are better than everyone, now when most of them became regulars.

Kyoutani also heard that with the new first year will also come a new coach. Last year, they only had a captain and a teacher who didn’t know a thing about volleyball, but still agreed to coach them, since without him they wouldn’t be able to play on tournaments. He hopes that the new coach will see how bad the third year’s personalities are and will teach them a lesson.

"Kyoutani, I would be really glad if you could pay more attention to me than you are paying to the window,“ he jumps in his seat when he hears his history teacher call out to him, her annoyance clear in her voice.  

"I’m sorry,“ he mumbles and apology and looks her directly in the eyes to let her know that he will not space out again, at least not during this class. She gives him a sarcastic ‘thank you very much‘ before she continues in talking about how was world million years ago.

Kyoutani likes history class, since it’s pretty interesting, but today his mind just refuses to focus on school. Instead of thinking about school, he thinks about volleyball.

Kyoutani is in his second year, the old third years are gone, and now he might finally have a chance to become a regular. Even though he started playing volleyball practically late, he learns really fast. Nobody believes him that he started to play when he was eleven years old, saying that his playing skills are far too good. It makes him feel more confident, but the self doubt that Kyoutani feels about not going to be good enough is still there, eating him inside out.

The bell rings after what feels like centuries, and Kyoutani is finally free to go. Actually, he plans to storm out of the classroom and get changed for practise as soon as possible, but his teacher stops him right when he’s walking out of the door.

"Kyoutani, do you have a minute?“ she asks, face burried in some paperwork she must’ve pulled out of her big handbag while Kyoutani was packing his things to his backpack.

Kyoutani doesn’t say anything in return. He simply walks to the desk, waiting for his teacher to say what’s on her mind. Kyoutani is pretty sure it will be something about him not paying attention during the class, but he waits patiently anyway.

"You like history, right?“ honestly, this question isn’t what Kyoutani expected. Why would his teacher asks him if he likes history? Kyoutani is curious if there is some specific reason behind this question, or if his teacher just wants to give him a long talk, but wants to beat around the bush before getting to the thing she wants to talk about.

"Yeah, history’s fine,“ Kyoutani shrugs. It’s not like he hates history, but he doesn’t love it either. It’s just a class that he likes more than other classes. The definition _it’s fine_ , is actually really accurate.

"You always have the best grades in my class, and it makes me really happy,“ she says with a proud smile playing on her lips. Kyoutani feels himself blushing when his teacher praises him. „I noticed that you are good friends with Mitsue Naoki from the other class. He is a good student, and I always hear other teachers saying that he has amazing grades in their classes, but boy, history really isn’t his thing.“

His teacher sighs and puts down the ton of papers in her hands. She looks at Kyoutani with her big brown eyes, and Kyoutani just nods in understanding. Of course he knows about Naoki hating history class and about his horrible grades from the previous year, but he still doesn’t understand what it has to do with him.

„I would like you to tutor him. When I asked him if he doesn’t want to get a tutor, he said that he doesn’t have time for a tutor, since he focuses on volleyball or whatever. He promised to try harder, but even tough his grades are better than before, they are still bad,“ she facepalms, and Kyoutani wants to laugh so hard at her desperate expression. "You’ll be a good tutor, since you two are friends and play volleyball together. So, will you be his tutor?“

"Uh... I–“ Kyoutani stutters and looks away while thinking about his answer. He really likes spending as much time as possible with Naoki, but studying with him is a pain, really. Kyoutani can understand how can Naoki have good grades, since everytime they study together, he focuses on everything but studying. Tutoring him will be the death of Kyoutani. However, the look on his teacher’s face makes him nod in agreement. „Yes. I’ll do it.“

"Thank you. If his grades improve, I’ll make sure to reward you with a good grade too. I know it won’t make a difference, since your grades are perfect, but there is not much I can do, so...“ She gives him another smile, dismissing him. Kyoutani bows before turning on his heel and walking away, and doesn’t know if he should start crying now, or after having his first studying lesson with Naoki. He already regrets his decision, but his inability to say no is just too strong.

-

They have five first years this year, and every one of them is pretty tall. There is only one boy who is even shorter than Naoki, and even though Kyoutani doesn’t want to judge people by their height, he thinks that the short boy will probably be a libero. At least, Naoki will have someone to take over when they leave this school.

Amongst the remaining four first years there are two wing spikers, one setter, and one middle blocker. The setter and the libero have similiar personality as Naoki. One of the wing spikers seems kind of neutral to Kyoutani, the other spiker has really, _really_ bad mood swings, and the middle blocker seems extremely grumpy, but Kyoutani soon figures out that it’s just his natural expression.

Naoki befriends all of them in a second, talking nonstop and getting to know them during the practise. Kyoutani doesn’t start converstation by himself, but he doesn’t have a problem with talking if the first years approach him. Everything is fine, everyone gets along, and Kyoutani doesn’t even think about the old third years not being there. That is, of course, until one of the current third years don’t start bullying the underclassmen just because they didn’t add _senpai_ to their name.

The third years looks all though when they are picking on the shorter and younger ones, but when the twins steps between the first year setter and the third years, they all back off like cowards. Their ego must be still kind of hurt after their old captain announced that the new captain will be one of the twin brothers, even though Tatsuo was only a first year at that time. Kyoutani thought that this was humiliating enough for them to understand that nobody likes them if they act like this, but he was clearly mistaken.

What’s weird is that when their _leader_ , Tetsu Noriko, the third year setter, and the A-grade dumbass wasn’t with them, they were actually really good company. As soon as Tetsu was with them, they act like they own the world. Why, Kyoutani doesn’t understand.

"Don’t listen to them,“ Tatsuo says to the young wing spiker, smiling kindly at him.

"But they are my senpais,“ the wing spiker look down at the floor, playing with his foot. He is clearly embarrassed by having to be saved by his upperclassmen.

Kyoutani snorts. "Not all senpais are worth your respect. It’s your own choice to call them senpai.“

The boys looks up at Kyoutani, surprised. Kyoutani frowns and looks over at Tatsuo, confused because of the look the first year gave to him. Did he say something wrong?

"Yes, Kyoutani-senpai!“ the boys bows and runs away, his cheeks pink. Kyoutani has to blink a few times to process that the kid just called him _senpai_ , and he can feel his own cheeks turning pink. Tatsuo just laughs at him and pats his shoulder before he walks away.

"Looks like you already have an admirer, _Kyoutani-senpai_ ,“ he giggles and Kyoutani wants to punch his arm, but Tatsuo quickly jumps away from him, grinning. "I know you good enough to know when you’re going to hit me.“

Kyoutani just rolls his eyes and returns to practising his serves.

-

Their new coach comes one week after the school starts. His name is Ren Seiichi, he is extremely tall, has dark hair, sharp grey eyes, and Kyoutani would say he is in his forties.

And Kyoutani feels like he was blesses by the Gods when the new coach humiliates the third years the very first day he comes to they gym.

Their coach is a good man, and when he hears the setter Tetsu say nasty things about the first years‘ skills, he doesn’t wait a second to step in and say what is on his mind. He devides the players into two teams – the third years trio in one team, and the first years in the other team. Coach says that if the first years are able to score more than twelve points in the match against the third years, than they are not as good as they pretend to be. The third years, cocky as always, accept the challenge.

They win the match, but they lose the challenge. The first years score fifteen points instead of just twelve, which means they were able to score more than the coach expected. Kyoutani and the other team members are pretty surprised too, since the first years only play with each other for maybe a week, and the third years play together for three years straight.

"Of course we would lose, there is five of them!“ they immediately protest. "They have a libero and two wing spikers, that makes three players who practise receiving, we only had one!“

The coach rolls his eyes and hold sup a hand as if telling them to be quiet, and to Kyoutani’s surprise, they do.

"I don’t care. This match was to show you that you can’t insult someone just because they are younger than you. Volleyball is played with six players on the court. You can’t play volleyball with three players, boys,“ he folds him arms on his chest, closing his eyes and sighing quietly. „You are the oldest here, but you still need three more players to play with you – plus a libero. You need the _younger_ players to play with you, so don’t be cocky and instead of talking shit, practise with them so they can get better – so the team can get better. It’s like when you order fries. What’s better than fries alone? Fries with your favorite sauce,“

The gym is as quiet as never before. Everyone is in awe from hearing something so smart and moving, but the food metaphor and the word _shit_ are something nobody expected, at least Kyoutani didn’t. He already knows that their new coach is really amazing.

"Understand?“

"Yes, coach,“ the voices of all the club members fills the gym.

Their new coach is awesome. The third years are tamed. The first years are really good. Kyoutani feels that this years is going to be a success.

-

The Inter High comes, and everyone besides the annoying Tetsu is clearly nervous about it, even his third year friends. They want to make their coach proud, since he’s been staying for extra practise with those who wanted it every day, never complaining about having to work longer. They worked hard together, as a team, and Kyoutani knows that they are good enough to play against other schools and win.

Naoki, Kyoutani and the twin brothers are probably as nervous as the first years, even though they have been to Inter High and Spring High tournaments the previous year. To their defense, there is a difference between being here and actually play in those matches. They trained hard, but was it enough to fill the gap his senpais created when they left? This is the question that lingers above their heads and makes them lose sleep the day before the tournament.

They were texting together almost all night, telling each other to calm down and go to sleep, but instead of going to sleep, they ended up telling each other all the reasons they are nervous. It was the first time Kyoutani texted with more people than Naoki at the same time, so he sometimes forgot that he has to address people before asking questions to avoid confusion, but he got used to it soon. Before going to sleep at 2 a.m., they promised to win tomorrow.

And with that thought, Kyoutani wakes up in the morning, sleepy and tired, but determined to fulfill his promise to his teammates and to his coach. He still doesn’t know if they can win today, since the tension between their setter and the team is getting harder to deal with every day, but even though Tetsu is an assholes, he still wants to win and go to nationals like everybody else.

Kyoutani thinks that his morning will be normal as usual, but he is proven wrong the moment he steps into the living room. His father is dressed in black pants and plain red shirt, shooting a smile at Kyoutani when he sees him entering the room.

"Where are you going?“ Kyoutani asks curiously, tilting his head to the side. He is sure that his father doesn’t work today, since he had a night shift yesterday. He just returned from work two hours ago, so it’s obvious that he cannot go back to work now.

"To your match, of course. You are playing today right?“ his father asks with a smile playing on his lips. Kyoutnai nods silently, still in shock that his father is going to see him play. He doesn’t know if he is happy that his father will be able to see Kyoutani play at his first official match ever, or if he is even more nervous, because if he screws up, his father will see everything. Kyoutani really doesn’t want to think about humiliating himself in front of his father.

"Don’t just stand there. We have to go soon,“ his father says, and Kyoutani nods again and starts packing his volleyball shoes in his bag. He makes sure that he already has packed his socks and his uniform, since he tends to forget things.

After checking that he has everything packed along with his shoes and food, Kyoutani calls out to his father to let him know that he is ready to go. He is putting on his shoes when he hears footsteps behind him, but he doesn’t turn to see the person who’s walking toward him. Kyoutani thinks that it’s his father, but when he hears his father’s voice from the bathroom, saying that he’ll be down in a minute, Kyoutani knows the person behind him is not his father. 

"Good morning,“ the soft voice of his mother sounds so calming in Kyoutani’s ears that he has to close his eyes for a moment to treasure it. Kyoutani then turns and greets his mother too. He wants to hug her, but he doesn’t know if he can. His mother hasn’t hugged him for four months now, and he misses her gentle touch so, so much.

"I heard that the Inter High tournament is starting today. Good luck,“ she smiles at him, and Kyoutani just stares at her, wide-eyed. It’s been a long time since his mother smiled at him like this. He couldn’t even remember her smile anymore, and he was afraid that the last time he saw her beautiful smile was half a year ago.

"T-Thank you,“ Kyoutani stutters as he talks, and he curses himself for being like this. He should show his mother that her wishing him good luck means a lot to him, but instead of saying thank you properly, he stutters like an idiot.

"I’m sure you’ll win,“ she says as she leans forward and kisses Kyoutani’s forehead, cupping his cheeks in her hands. Her lips are chapped, but still soft and warm against Kyoutani’s skin, and Kyoutani finds himself closing his eyes at the contact. "I love you, Kentarou.“

Kyoutani is too stunned to say that he loves his mother too before she turns on her heel and disappears inside her bedroom. His eyes are still open wide in shock, and he is unable to move. _His mother kissed him_. He didn’t expect his mother leaving the bedroom to say good morning to him, nor kissing him and wishing him good luck. It is strange, Kyoutani thinks. His mother used to visit him in the evenings, but never in the mornings. And these past days, he hasn’t seen her leaving the bedroom at all. Although she was smiling, Kyoutani could clearly see the dark circles under her eyes. She never had dark circles under her eyes, so it was easily noticable.

"I’m ready too,“ his father appears in the room, but Kyoutani’s mind is still somewhere entirely else to register his words. "I guess we’re taking Naoki too, right?“

"Mhmm,“ Kyoutani hums and blinks a few times before turning to his father. He is looking at his son curiously, and Kyoutani is sure that his father doesn’t know that his mother left her bedroom to greet him. He decides not to say anything.

His father takes them to school where the bus is already waiting for them. They are not the last to come, but everyone is already sitting in the bus, and that means they have limited choice when it comes to choosing their seats.

Naoki thanks politely to Kyoutani’s father for giving him a lift, and also says he is grateful that Kyoutani’s father will come to watch the match today. After saying goodbye to his father, they jump into the bass and greet everyone, already searching for a seat. They usually sit in the back, but the seats in the back were already occupied by the first years who were all chatting and laughing loudly. Naoki chooses to sit next to the twins, noting their sleepy eyes and dark circles under their eyes. Kyoutani finally isn’t the only one to have those horrible bags under his eyes.

"Your dad will come to cheer for us today?“ Tatsuo asked, not looking up from his mobile. Kyoutani rolls his eyes when he sees that it’s the same stupid game Tatsuo has been playing for a week now, but tries to ignore it. What is with everyone, anyway? Why is everybody playing this game? He tries it once and after he died for ten times in a row at the exactly same place as before, Kyoutani almost threw the phone out of the window. Color Switch was too much for his nerves.

"Yeah. I didn’t know he wanted to go,“ Kyoutani answers and pulls out an apple from his bag. He usually doesn’t it breakfast, even though everyone says that it is the most important meal of the day, but today he is hungry earlier than usual.

Today is a weird day indeed.

"Our parents are gonna be there too,“ Yosuke says cheerfully and when Tatsuo just hums beside him, his brother sighs, sounding annoyed. Then he reaches out his hand and grabs Tatsuo’s phone. "Stop playing it already!“

Oh, so Kyoutani isn’t the only one who is losing his nerves because of this game.

"Give it back.“

"No.“

"I am older than you,“ Tatsuo furrows his brows and Yosuke rolls his eyes.

"By fifteen minutes, you dumbass,“ Yosuke murmurs, and Kyoutani knows that they are going to bicker at least for ten minutes, so he turns back to Naoki who is staring out of the window.

"You still nervous?“ Kyoutani asks. He already knows the answer to his question, though.

"Of course. My mom is going to watch. I want to make her proud,“ Naoki whispers, not looking away from the window. Kyoutani understand how much Naoki wants to make his mother proud, but in his case, he doesn’t how to be afraid of disappointing her. He is the best player out of the second years, and he gets always praised for having good receives and saves. His skills are really good. Kyoutani knows that Naoki is talented, and that there is no way his mother won’t be proud of him.

"You will,“ Kyoutani wants to assure him, but he knows Naoki is too stubborn to believe him. Although Naoki won’t believe him, he wants to let him know that he believes in him. He always does.

"How can you know that?“ Naoki turns to him in a second, startling Kyoutani from the sudden and quick movement. "What if I screw up? People expect me to be good at receives, but what if I can’t return the ball to setter properly? They will laugh at me! I don’t want them to laugh at me.“

"You won’t screw up, I am sure,“ Kyoutani gives him a small smile, and continues when he sees Naoki opening his mouth to say something, to protest. "I know you’re good. Everyone knows it. You just have to believe in yourself.“

Naoki closes his mouth again, staring at Kyoutani with those beautiful eyes of his. Kyoutani is getting lost in them while their eye contact lasts, and if he could, he would just stare into these breath-taking eyes all day.

"You are so nice to me,“ Naoki whines and hugs Kyoutani, every single hint of worry gone from his voice and face. Instead of pulling away from Naoki, Kyoutani leans into the hug and closes his eyes, treasuring the moment.

"Yeah, well, sad expressions don’t suit you,“ Kyoutani answers and chuckles. It’s just half truth. Naoki is always beautiful, no matter what expression he wears, but seeing him sad pains Kyoutani more than he would expect. He likes him more when he’s all sunshine and smiles, like most of the time.

-

"Hey, Kyoutani. Come here for a second,“ the coach gestures with his hand to come over, and Kyoutani nods his head and slowly walks over to him.

Kyoutani is having millions of bad thoughts right now. Official warm up started a few minutes ago, but none of his spikes were good. None. Even the first years were able to spike the ball better than him, and he’s been training his spike for hours, for days, _for months._ His coach probably wants to tell him that he can’t let him play if he keeps spiking the ball out of bounds or striaght into the net. He is probably going to tell him that his lousy skills are not good enough, and that he’ll be a bench warmer for the rest of the years.

"Yes?“ he says, his head hung down. He doesn’t even want to look at his coach. Kyoutani is so ashamed of himself already that he doesn’t want to see the disappointment in his coach’s eyes.

"What is wrong with you today?“ here it is. He doesn’t know what to say to his coach’s question, since he can’t explain it himself. He usually manages to spike even when the toss isn’t ideal, but today, he can’t smash the ball down even if the toss is more than perfect. Tetsu is already angry with him, but Kyoutani understands him – this time. He would be angry if he was a setter too.

"I don’t know,“ Kyoutani chooses to answer honestly, his voice quiet. He isn’t only ashamed. Kyoutani is frustrated and sad too, because he’s been waiting for this chance a whole year. And now, when he can show what’s in him, he doesn’t spike the ball properly. He can’t play in the match like this.

"Well, who else can know?“ his coach smirks and puts his large hand on Kyoutani’s shoulder. "Listen. You are talented, everybody knows that. I know that you are nervous, but you really don’t have a reason to be.“

Kyoutani doesn’t say anything in return, he just keeps staring at the ground below him. He can hear his coach sigh.

"At my first match, I forgot that I am in the front, and when our setter tossed the very first toss to me, there was no one to hit it, since I was somewhere in the back,“ he says, scratching the back of his head, clearly embarrassed. Kyoutani huffs out a laugh. Not only because it’s funny, but Kyoutani can see himself do something like this today. He is so nervous he would probably forget how to move. "And that happened because I was nervous. So don’t be nervous, and play like I know you can. Show them how good you are.“

His coach slaps his arm with a bit too much force, but his words are encouraging enough to make Kyoutani want to return on the court and spike another one of Tetsu’s tosses so hard that the floor will break when the ball touches the ground. He bows to him before he takes the volleyball lying on the floor into his hands, takes a deep breath and gets in the line made of his teammates waiting for their turn to spike some of the tosses before the warm up ends.

"You look so tense. Cheer up a little,“ Kyoutani almost jumps when he hears Naoki’s voice behind his back. Naoki likes to come up to him from behind and startle him, and Kyoutani hates from the bottom of his heart. "You can do it, stupid.“

"You going or not?“ Tetsu asks before Kyoutani can say something in return to Naoki, who is already walking away from him, stopping in the middle of the court to do some more receives. Kyoutani is in awe when he sees Naoki receive so many of the other team’s spikes so easily, even though Naoki seems unsatisfied.

"Of course,“ Kyoutani grunts. He throws the ball directly to Tetsu who tosses it up in the air, saying something about how grateful he would be if Kyoutani didn’t spike another one of his tosses out of bounds.

Kyoutani takes a small step with his right foot, then takes a bigger and quicker steps with his left foot toward the ball. He jumps up in the air vertically, so the volleyball is in front of him and he can hit at the peak of his jump with all his power. His hitting arm swings over the top of the ball, sending it to ground with incredible force. One of the boys on the other side yelps in surprise as the ball flies through the air only a meter away from him, and Kyoutani smirks when he sees it. It is the first spike that could be call good.

Kyoutani looks over his shoulder, checking if his coach saw it. He gets an approving nod and thumb up in return. His coach isn’t the only one to praise him, though. His teammates whistle loudly and yell how good Kyoutani’s spike was, and he just grins at them widely, thanking them.

The referee whistles just a few seconds after Kyoutani’s spike, announcing that they have another ten minutes for dedicated only to serving before the warm up ends. Kyoutani catches a volleyball that his coach throws him and walks over to the end line. He isn’t used to have people walking around him as he is about to serve, but he has to deal with it during the warm up. In the match, he’ll be alone and he’ll have more space, so it’s okay for now.

He sets his body in the correct posture with most of his wight on his left foot. He concentrates on tossing the ball up correctly, so he won’t have trouble hitting it later. Kyoutani nods to himself when he sees that the toss was good, and takes the first step forward. The steps are pretty similiar to those he had to learn in order to have good spiking technique. He tries to jump as high as possible and hit the ball when the ball is high enough to go straight over the net so that the players who will receive his serve will have troubles receiving it. It feels good when Kyoutani’s hand connects with the ball, but he is afraid that the ball won’t make it through the net because it seems that it isn’t high enough. To Kyoutani’s surprise, the volleyball scratches the net ever so slightly and slams into their opponent’s court gracefully.

"That was so good, Kentarou-chan!“ Naoki says as he receives another serve coming from their opponent’s side. It feels good to be praised, but it feels better to know that the praise wasn’t out of pity, but because of Kyoutani’s serve really being good. And suddenly, when he knows that he isn’t _that_ bad, he doesn’t feel nervous anymore. Okay, he does, but not as much as before.

Kyoutani doesn’t waste his time and quickly finds another ball so he can serve more before the whistle blows to announce that the warm up has come to the end the official match is about to begin.

He didn’t think that those ten minutes would be gone so quickly, but Kyoutani is satisfied with the number of serves he managed to hit. Maybe only nine out of thirteen were good, but he’ll do his best in the match to get a point with his serve.

All of the boys walk over to their coach and wait for his encouraging words before the match.

"There is not much I can say, but I’ll say one thing. You’ve trained hard, but it’ll be for nothing if you don’t show it here. So go, and show everyone the results of your hard training!“

"Yes!“ everybody says in unison. Kyoutani can see that everyone around him is trying to calm down and focus on the up-coming game, so he does the same. He takes a deep breath and exhales slowly with his eyes closed.

This is his first match. He can’t screw it up.

No.

He won’t screw up anything. He will show everyone that he is good. They will show them that they can make it to the nationals together this years for sure.

-

"It’s up, it’s up!“ the third years wing spiker – Saburo – screams as he manages to save the ball.

They have to score one more point, and they’ll win. One more point. They have to _score_.

"Left!“

"Right!“ Kyoutani can see that even Tetsu, who always looks so damn confident, is having a hard time choosing the person who will get the – hopefully – last toss of this match. Kyoutani is in the back, so the only thing he can do is cover the one who will get the toss. He believes that his teammates will get the last point, but he’ll be there just in cause something happens.

Kyoutani sees as Tetsu shoots a quick glance to his right, and the middle blocker of the opposite team must have seen it too, because he takes a step to the left, ready to block Yosuke. Kyoutani thought that both of the twin brothers will be middle blockers, but since Yosuke is left handed and tall, their coach decided that he’ll train him as the opposite.

He is surprised that Tetsu doesn’t toss the ball to Yosuke, but sets a quick toss to the other twin who is already in the air, ready to spike the ball. Kyoutani hates himself for saying it, but Tetsu is a pretty good setter when he pulls a feint at a time like this. The middle blocker who thought that Yosuke is the one who is going to score the last point is shocked too, but it’s too late for him to jump to block Tatsuo, whose hand is already connecting with the ball.

Tatsuo hits the ball with all his power, and one of the players on the other side manages to touch it, but the other players don’t connect with the one lucky wing spiker that received the spike, and so the ball falls to the ground with a loud bump.

There is silence for a while, but then they realize that they just won the first match of this year, and everyone starts yelling from happiness and collapses to the ground or starts hugging the person closest to him. Naoki is jumping on Kyoutani before Kyoutani can process what just happened, and they fall on the ground together, arms wrapped around each other.

People that are watching them must think that they are crazy for being so happy just because of winning the very first match of Inter High, but for them, it means a lot. They didn’t just win the nationals or something, but they are one step closer to it. Their imperfect team just won the first match 2:0 on sets, and they will play another match tomorrow. _They will play another match_.

"We did it!“

-

"You truly were amazing today, I was very proud of you,“ his father says with a smile as they sit in the car. He seems happy, and Kyoutani is glad that his father feels happy after such a long time of being depressed because of their family issues.

"Thanks,“ Kyoutani mumbles, cheeks turning pink. It means a lot to Kyoutani, being praised by his father. He was afraid that his father will be ashamed of him after the match, because Kyoutani thought that he will screw up, but none of the embarrassing things that were in Kyoutani’s mind didn’t happen. And not only that he didn’t humiliate himself in front of his father, his coach, Naoki’s mother and hundreds of other people, but he scored more than fifteen points during the match. He was surprised that Tetsu could toss him a good toss, since the two of them didn’t really practise with each other too much.

"You mother would be proud too, I’m sure,“ Kyoutani can see that even though his father is still smiling, there is too much pain behind this smiling face.

"Maybe,“ he answers shortly, looking out of the window. He can’t see much, since it’s already dark outside, but he keeps staring at the passing neighborhood covered in darkness and moonlight anyway. After a while, his eyelids start to feel extremely heavy, and he closes his eyes completely. "I’m going to sleep for the rest of the ride. Is it alright?“

"Yes, of course it is. You had a rought day, after all,“ his father answers, locking the doors as Kyoutani leans his head on the window. He loves sleeping in a car, or a bus. He always falls asleep really quickly and doesn’t wake up until their road comes to an end. And this time, it isn’t any differently.

-

"Hey, Kentarou. Wake up,“ Kyoutani slowly opens his eyes when his father shakes him arms and whisper quiet words beside his ear. "We are home.“

Kyoutani would rather sleep in the car for the rest of the night than move, but he knows he can’t do that, and the quickest way to return to sleeping is getting into his bedroom.

"Mhmm,“ Kyoutani mumbles as he sighs and opens the door. He reaches to the back of the car before stepping out to take his bag, but it’s not here. His father must have taken it while Kyoutani was trying to wake up. He thanks his father in his mind, thinking that if he had to carry his bag he would most probably die.

„Come on, you troublemaker,“ Kyoutani frowns when he hears the nickname. His father must refer to the argument he had with a referee in the second set, after the wing spiker from the other team tried to late that he didn’t touch the ball, but Kyoutan clearly saw him touch it. He started to argue with the player, and the referee almost started yelling at them to stop.

"And go brush your teeth before going to sleep,“ he says warningly. "Not like before.“

"It happened once,“ like not brushing his teeth for one day is going to kill him. His father is making a big deal out of nothing.

"And it won’t happen twice, am I right? I’ll found out if you lie to me,“ Kyoutani wants to ask why, but he doesn’t want to push his father to the limit, so he just nods an quickly walks through the door the second his father opens it. He is so, so sleepy and tired. He needs his bed already.

He yawns and closes his eyes as he walks over to the bathroom, opening the door with a little kick. His father wouldn’t beg lad if he saw that, but right now, he isn’t here, so everything‘s fine. Kyoutani opens his eyes when he steps into the bath room, and when he opens his eyes, he doesn’t know what the sight in front of him means.

"Mom?“

His mother is sitting on the ground, and there is blood _everywhere_. Her eyes are closed, and her limbs lying beside her, unmoving. Kyoutani steps back, his eyes wide. He didn’t understand what is all this.

"Dad,“ he calls out, his voice trembling. It doesn’t even sound like it’s his voice, and his father probably didn’t even hear him, since he can’t hear any footsteps.

"Dad!“ he yells this time. Now, it’s not only his voice that is trembling. His whole body is shivering, but he can’t move. His legs aren’t listening when he wants to turn away and run for his father. He just stands there, his eyes never leaving the figure sitting on the ground.

It doesn’t take long before his father appears behind the corner, confusion written all over his face. „What happened?“

Kyoutani is unable to answer his father’s question, so he just stand in front of bathroom, unmoving. His father must have sensed that something is off when he saw Kyoutani’s terrified expression, and he quickly walks over to his son. His eyes follow Kyoutani’s stare, and when they fall on his mother, Kyoutani can see his father go pale.

"Call an ambulance, right now,“ he whispers hurriedly, but Kyoutani still can’t move. He wants to, he really does, but he just can’t. He watches as his father falls to his knees, not caring that his pants will be drained in blood. He reaches out to touch his mother’s hand, lifting it up. His body is trembling, just like Kyoutani’s. "Hurry!“

His father screams, and that’s what it takes to make Kyoutani move. He runs toward his bag, quickly trying to find his phone in one of the pockets. It’s hard to remember where he put the phone in this situation, so he just searches through every corner of his bag. When he pulls it out, he quickly types 911 in. He has to write it four times because the first three times he got it wrong, his fingers slipping to different numbers. When Kyoutani hears the dialing sound, he quickly runs back to the bathroom, handing the phone to his father who is kneeling on the ground beside his mother.

Suddenly, Kyoutani cannot think of going to sleep anymore. He cannot think of anything beside his mother lying on the ground.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The new chapter will be out on Wednesday (1st June).  
> I am sorry that it's already 2nd, and the chapter is still not there, but I am in the hospital, and I am writing on mobile so it takes forever. Promise I'll update as soon as I can :(


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